Poirot

>> insecure people tend to cleave to that type and the narcissistic person obtains his "supply" through their often misguided loyalty. <<

Exactly, making whistle blowing even more fraught for any victims. In fact a lot of time spent by victims of people with NPD on wondering "is it me?" because they may appear to be outnumbered.

Most of the advice on workplace narcissists I have read tends to end with "leave the job". Not always practical, but often the only way to retain one's health and wellbeing.

Will google the article to which you refer.

Cheers

Today is a particularly wet cold Saturday, I could be cleaning house.... nah too boring. Prefer to learn.

From Sam Vanknin A video which discusses a NPD person's relationship with objects and people (or should that be objects and other objects?)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3pXDHKi15hY&feature=related

From Judith Orloff offers some advice on how to cope with the NPD person, but really comes to much the same conclusion as I, because narcissists do not change.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxTddQM-d08&feature=related

Hoping people gain from these videos - it is often more rewarding watching and listening to a person than just reading dry articles.

Monbot I do not think I have ever described nyself as a “successful and accomplished accountant” maybe you could prompt my memory where I used those words… I am and have described myself as an accountant by profession which is not bragging, it is a fact.

Similarly, I am married to a lady who described herself to me as the vainest person I would ever meet and I love that she is , again not bragging but again stating fact

Now I see we have spawned a bunch of armchair psychologists (there must be a name for that personality disorder maybe we should call it -

“psycho-narcosis” – a person suffering junky obsession for critical analysis and judgement of other people –

“socialist” for short

They go around classifying others, including Bill Gates and me (nice company, so much nicer than being braced with Hitler).

Ladies, and I do not mean just the females ones, I suggest you simply satisfy yourself with the notion,
I relish all this attention…. I would observe most of you are not worth talking about, particularly the originator of the thread, who seems a most bland and irrelevant and inadequate soul–

I do love the banter too….

So much more fun than the adulation of the Daily Telegraphs recommend rating system.

And you lot as so good subjects when it comes to getting wound up, especially Ammonite
Who wrote “Do we really need narcissists? NO
Do we need to identify them? Abso-bloody-lutely.”

Question – and when you have “identified them” what will you do?

Stop them breeding?
Lock them up?

I suggest, far from worrying about “narcissistic personalities”

It is those who seek to classify and control others

Who they have arbitrarily classified as being:

“narcissistic”

or maybe those of a particular political view

or maybe who happen to be Jewish

who need to “identified”

Because it is they, with their “self appointed God” obsession who are the biggest danger to everyone else

They too have a name “Fascists"

Col Rouge

I can only thank you for the inestimable contributions you have made to this topic.

Hoping you and YOUR wife have an enjoyable weekend.

Col,

I stopped referring to you on page 7....

While being momentarily dazzled by your "style", I now couldn't give a hoot what you think about yourself - or me, for that matter.

Nice act, but of only limited interest : )

Dear bonmot,

The following link may be of interest to you and others:

http://www.yourcareerquest.com/articles/brag.html
"How to Brag Without Bragging: The Secret to Self Promotion."
by Ross Macpherson: President, Career Quest.

Dear Ammonite and Poirot,

As I've stated previously - basically it does come down to how
you express yourself. As I've written previously on OLO - the
art of reasoned, intelligent argument is a skill not easily
acquired. Sound reasoning will conquer
unreasonable generalisations every time.
Unreasonable generalisations make one appear to be
arguing on an emotional level -
not a mature intelligent one. Also
if one sounds too dogmatic and doesn't listen to
another person's opinion they will be deemed pig-headed
and will subsequently be
ignored. Whether you encounter a disagreement on OLO
or elsewhere,(at a dinner party, or at work),
it's best to think before you speak.
No one likes, or supports an abusive,
illogical or weak debater -
especially someone who becomes
quite obsessed in their increasingly
desperate efforts to offend.
We should resist the temptation to retaliate
and simply not respond.