I'll pay that actually. Nice work. Sly. Entertaining. Dry.

Though nice side-step too. Actually smoke and mirrors all round, continuing the passive aggression nicely. 3 stars.

'who sing the praises of their favourite [sic] online voices without fail, all in hopes of garnering favour [sic] and being a part of the in-crowd.'

See, this is where your own perceptions, based on your own life motives and insecurities steer you in the wrong direction. Col has few supporters and many many detractors. If he wished to be part of an 'in-crowd', he would simply conform to the majority leftist self flagellation, and conduct himself in the way that others want him to. But, it is actually you who just cant fathom that Col and/or others really just don't care, so you can only relate to your own need to fit in.

'One reason braggarts do not wake up to themselves'

I think you need to do more waking up. You accuse the great Col of arrogance, yet decide that he should change his persona to suit you, based on your perceptions of him. Why do you arrogantly assume Col is not awake? Because everyone should conduct themselves to please you or to avert your unfavourable perceptions of their behaviour? Haha. I have found the centre of the universe, it's name is Ammonite.

If you don't feel you can address Col directly, or need to garner some support, or to pigeon hole him so as to attack a generic 'other' in such a roundabout way, that's ok. Just know that you're not fooling anyone, except perhaps yourself.

Houellie,

Actually, I think you might be right on that point.

Must say I've been a little entertained by Col's ruminations on his own grandiosity...but, by the same token, he does invite us all to have a go at him.

He'd make a good character in a Dickens novel...something along the lines of Mr Earnest le Uphimself.

Houllebecq

You are free to choose those you admire, as am I.

I could be describing many people who post here or on other blogs.
That you have responded to my thread suggests that you identify with much of what I have said.

BTW "favour" is perfectly acceptable spelling in Australia, the USA tends to 'favor' the eliminate of the vowel 'u'. Nice try, but no cigars.

As for not naming specific individuals, I have merely presented information regarding the narcissistic personality. I do not need to name anyone. You are free to believe whatever you like.

You may find the following of interest:

"Someone with Narcissistic Personality disorder (NPD) has at least 5 of these symptoms:

1. has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)

2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

3. believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)

4. requires excessive admiration

5. has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations

6. is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends

7. lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others

8. is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her

9. shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes"

http://www.narcissism101.com/

:P

1. has a grandiose sense of self-importance

Like wanting others to 'get them to stop' other people implying they are superior to others, while paradoxically in this very statement implying you are superior due to an absence of this 'flaw'?

2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

Or a career in acting or pretensions of being a part of 'the arts'?

3. believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)

Like thinking only women can have an opinion on women?

4. requires excessive admiration

Like wanting affirmation on OLO?

5. has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations

Like not accepting decisions on moderation? Ah, So difficult.

6. is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends

Like rallying a mob against a poster one doesn't like or victim positioning in DV threads. ie 'Don't silence me'!?

7. lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others

Like not recognising the feelings of posters who are proud of their wife and financial and career achievements, or empathising with poor r0bert who needs affirmation so much?

8. is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her

Like thinking moderation decisions are all unfair and that the moderator is out to get you?

9. shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes"

Like thinking people should change to suit you, and that you have accurately assigned motives to others you barely know?

Dear Ammonite,

From what I'm reading here it seems to me that our behaviour and personalities seem to depend so much on the content of our individual socialization, what becomes of human free will? Do we have any choice over our personal behaviour, or is it all shaped for us by our past
experiences? Can socialization completely wipe out any basic personality traits with which we are born?

Let's see...

An individual is pushed this way and that and constantly has to make personal judgements and decisions in unanticipated situations. Do our personal histories strongly influence our choices of action? I suppose I'd have to say - of course. That's why courts are often willing to take an offender's past background into account before passing sentence, particularly when dealing with juveniles. But also as in practice the courts, like the rest of society, always insist at some point that people (unless they are mentally disordered) are capable of choosing courses of action and "reforming" their personalities.

We hold people responsible for their behaviour precisely because they
can exercise choice - particularly moral choice - over what they do.

For whatever reasons, everyone violates social norms at some time or another, often in novel and sometimes socially disapproved ways.
Hearing a "different drummer," we do not keep pace with our companions.

I guess the point that I'm trying to make is that - within the very broad limits provided by our place in history and society, we are free to fabricate ourselves and our behaviour as we wish - particularly if we understand the social process through which we became what we are. It's our choice.

We are venturing into nature versus nurture, although most anthropologists, psychiatrists and others acknowledge degrees of influence of both these days.

We are the sum of our past experiences. Try as we may we cannot completely remain objective.

Houllebecq has provided an excellent example with his last post, his perceptions are that I am trying to tell others how to behave. He is free to think that. All I have provided is information from a variety of professional sources and brought them together and his response is really interesting - thanks Houllebecq.

I would posit that the sycophant is in a symbiotic relationship with the narcissist. And I am not alone:

"We also live in denial about the part we play in the creation of the narcissist and the perpetuation of his or her behavior. Far too often the people drawn into the narcissist’s force field enable, condone and tolerate the negative and destructive behavior of the narcissist. We absolve ourselves by saying we are doing it for the greater good, or by apologizing for the narcissist’s behavior. Often we take responsibility for the damage caused to other’s psyches by the narcissist. If truth be known, we do it because we are afraid. We don’t want to wound the highly sensitive narcissist because we will pay dearly for this narcissistic injury. We don’t want to be tossed out of the narcissist’s orbit for speaking up, for disagreeing or challenging the narcissist because what we get from the narcissist fuels our own needs.

I have a theory about why this is. From my life experience, I have come to believe that sycophants fuel narcissists and enable them to exist and even thrive. I am sure this isn’t a new or novel idea on my part. In fact, it is probably overly simplistic."

http://ljgc.wordpress.com/2009/07/29/narcissists-and-sycophants-a-marriage-made-in-hell/