“even men dont really know what they want
till they see it..or its thrust upon them”

This is true, I’ve never known what I really wanted until I got it.

Why men are not allowed to write advice columns:

Dear Yabber,

I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a few hundred yards down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help.

When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was parading in front of the wardrobe mirror dressed in my underwear and high-heel shoes, and he was wearing my make up.

I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he had dressed in my lingerie because he couldn't find his own underwear. But when I asked him about the make-up, he broke down and admitted that he'd been wearing my clothes for six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him.

He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don't feel I can get through to him anymore.

Can you please help?

Sincerely,

Suzey

-/-/-/-

Dear Suzey,

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber. I hope this helps.

Yabber

Hahahahahaaaa!....

That's very good, Jewely.

The oldies are the goodies.

Her Side of the Story:

He was in an odd mood Sunday night. We planned to meet at a bar for a drink. I spent the afternoon shopping with the girls and I thought it might have been my fault because I was a bit later than I promised, but he didn't say anything much about it.

The conversation was very slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately. We went to this really nice restaurant and he was STILL acting a bit funny. I tried to cheer him up and started to wonder whether it was me or something else. I asked him, and he said no, he was fine.

But I wasn't really sure. So anyway, in the car on the way back home, I said that I loved him deeply and he just put his arm around me. I didn't know what the hell that meant because you know he didn't say it back or anything.

We finally got back home and I was beginning to wonder if he was going to leave me, but didn't know how to tell me. So I tried to get him to talk but he just switched on the TV. Reluctantly, I said I was going to go to bed. Then after about 10 minutes, he joined me and to my surprise, we made love.

But, he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I just wanted to confront him, but instead I just cried myself to sleep.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I mean, I really think he's seeing someone else.

His Side of the Story:

The Raiders lost again. Got a root, but.

Ah Jewely, it seems you just need to find a more talented bloke
to write the agony aunt responses :)

Something more like this:-

Dear Suzey,

My my, you girls sure can pick em, i.e. the blokes whom you finally
decide to marry. I never did claim that you are good judges of
character, for mostly you just follow your feelings.

Anyhow, you claim to love this guy, so it's best to now make the best
of the situation and see the bright side of life.

If you are a typical female you'll love going shopping for clothes and
any excuse will do. Clearly your partner has no problem in wearing
your hand me downs, which gives you an amazingly good excuse to
go and buy even more clothes for both of you! He will hardly argue
with you, more likely encourage you and anything in your wardrobe that
you don't like, he can have. The man is a sucker but he doesent need
to know it.

So off you go, shop until you drop and you have a great excuse for
doing so and feeling better in the process. Its a win-win situation,
it really is.

Yabber

You made me giggle Pericles, and it’s exactly how I overthunk things.

Dear Yabber,

Thank you so much for the advice, the car is humming along once again.

I can now see where perhaps I misinterpreted his praising how I looked as we were courting and it may have been my attire he desired. What I didn’t expect was to eat drink and then to discover he was Mary.

My new problem is that our eldest is approaching puberty and want their first bra, it has resulted in no end of arguments in our home as I truly believe it is not the time yet while my husband has argued that I am being overly sensitive about the issue.

Any helpful suggestions would be most welcome at this point as we have become a family divided.

Should I relent and purchase a bra for young Robert?

Sincerely,

Suzey

Pericles,

Excuse me, but you're disenchanting me somewhat here. I'm fast coming to the conclusion that I've indulged too much in the works of men with "artistic" temperaments.

W.B. Yeats wrote:

I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly for you tread on my dreams.

So, are you telling me that the average bloke (after an afternoon tinkering under the bonnet) would write something like this:

I have spread my carby under your feet;
So watch yer step when you go and fetch me tinny.

(Has a certain ring to it)