Good advice from Chopper Reid, "Harden the %u(# up." Having been divorced form two trollops & a perpetual student Iv'e had some experience with divorce. So if their no good, "p!$$ 'em off & get another one." This time don't make the same mistake you did the first time. Think about it.

@Foxy, it's hard to give advice when we know nothing of his personality. If he's a very independent type of person, the divorce will eventually be a revelation and a blessing. However, if he's the type of person that really needs the company of others, then his sense of loneliness will be profound.

Since his kids are grown-up, then visitation and separation anxiety is probably not an issue. But he’s probably feeling a profound sense of loss, for the way you made it sound it was a divorce that he wasn’t the initiator of. He may have lost the love of his life, consequently the searching for answers as to what went wrong.

He requires distractions. If he’s a man of hobbies, then this shouldn’t be too difficult. If he isn’t, then you have a task on your hands.

For example, it took me a few years after failed relationships and living on my own, to learn to enjoy my own company, develop hobbies and become comfortable with myself. Also, it’s not just the companionship, but the roles that are adopted by the partner that are missed.

Divorce in long-term relationships is considered to be tantamount to a death in the family for its emotional and psychological impact.

I would allow him some space, while keeping an eye on him not becoming overly morbid and isolative. If he does become like that, then seek professional advice. But it’s natural to want to be alone and be a bit sad about the entire event. Only if he becomes more and more isolative and his mood doesn’t pick-up, but worsens, would I start to get concerned. The average divorcee takes approx. 18-24 months to “get over it”.

When he starts to feel better about things there’s always organisations like Parents Without Partners to distract his thoughts of loss. PWP isn’t a personal choice of mine, but I know many people that have enjoyed the experience, and found it to be a very good way to socialize with others of the same age bracket.

This thread has opened up so many doors
and again I'm grateful for all your inputs.

I've managed to organize a re-union with
ten friends for a night out at one of his favourite
local restaurants here in Melbourne for him in
early October. They're people he used to be close
to, and I thought he'd enjoy touching base with
them again. Anyway, it's a start.

I'll take things slowly and see what develops.
In the meantime - we email each other - so as
things come up I shall pass on the advice that I've
received on this thread.

Once again - Thanks everyone.

The average divorcee takes approx. 18-24 months to “get over it”.

My first one took about 18 months. The second one 6 months & the 3rd, about a month before. It depends on your mental state & the circumstances I guess. At your friends age he should get over it soon, especially if she was a bitch & he was a nice guy. The big thing is lonelyness at first. If he was a nice guy, he'll have plenty of lady friends willing to console him, ;-).

Some good advise has been given.
My thoughts:
Get a balanced lawyer if poperty is involved.
Seek the emotional support of friends.
Seek Divorse Counsellors that are balanced and supportive.
Get involved in things you enjoy.
Seek our a new life and diversify into new interests.
Spend more time with the children.
Do not put down your ex or yourself.
Endeavour to be positive as this attracts friends.

He is a nice guy, but an extremely introverted
one. He's not outgoing at all. And part of the
problem is that he's bitter at the moment,and
keeps wanting to share all
of his "problems" with any female that he meets.
This may be a bit "off-putting" for people that
don't know him. Hopefully this will pass.