Hi Foxy
Much good advice has already been given. The one thing I think friends can do is not let him get too isolated. It is good that he visits his adult children in Melbourne regularly. Loneliness always makes the situation worse and it is good to see he has friends like you and your husband.

I don't know the circumstances of the divorce but don't let him become bitter. Even if he is in a smaller 'dump' he can still make it a home, make new friends, join local clubs etc. Bitterness in directed inward more than outward and only hurts him in the long run.

After a while, with the support of friends and family, he will get back on his feet and maybe realise there are new opportunities out there and maybe new friendships.

Antiseptic <"Suze may like to ask a doctor about that."

Even when you are trying to be helpful, you can't help a little dig can you?

Antiseptic, you have no idea about anyone else's situation than your own, so telling anyone they shouldn't see a GP about feelings of depression is actually quite dangerous, and should be left to the health professionals.

For your information, there are many people who do go on medication for reactive depressions, often for short term only.

It may not have helped you, but I know many men where it has been a lifesaving aspect of their recovery. They are often used in conjunction with therapy.
Aren't you worried about male suicides in these situations?

Why don't YOU ask a Doctor about that?

Foxy, tell him this old piece of male wisdom:
"New pussy drives out the memory of old".

Johnny30, in response to your post:

My opinion was indeed of a general nature. I only ever claimed
it to be 5c worth BTW :)

But it sounds to me like Foxy's friend's wife, put her own self
interest first, above any commitment that she had made and wants
to head off to find herself. That is no uncommon these days.

So Foxy's friend feels hurt. I know a similar experience of a bloke
who only ever put his family first, sacrificed everything for them,
she still one day decided that she wanted out and wanted to move on.
Several suicide attempts later, despite all the drugs prescribed, he
is still a train wreck.

It seems to me, that when these kinds of things happen, and it can
happen to either gender, people feel hurt and betrayed. For we all
seem to have a kind of sense of justice.

So what do we need to come to terms with? For a start, that we really
didn't know the person who we thought we knew, despite all those
years of living with them, claiming to know them. They are simply
being themselves, our mistake was our poor judgement.

Once we can accept that, we can move on.

As to dogs, the advice was solid. They make great companions and
are far more predictable then many humans, who can be quite
deceptive.

Foxy, youe apology is graciously accepted. I must congratulate you for being big enough to rise above perceived differnces. I can do aught but strive to emulate your example.

Suzeonline:"there are many people who do go on medication for reactive depressions, often for short term only. "

Yes, I realise that. The first response of many doctors when a depressed man presents is to offer a prescription for one of the SSRIs. I suggest that there are two main reasons for this, neither of which is related to the best interests of the patient. Firstly, it's the cheapest solution: the patient can be sent off to the pharmacy with his script in hand and the medicare claim can be filed - next patient please.

Second, it means the doctor doesn't need to consider underlying issues, but just has to tick the box that says "depression - prescribed [SSRI of choice] - next appt check for side-effects".

Reactive depressions last for a few weeks to a few months. They have no underlying organic cause, but are a sort of fugue state in response to a grievous emotional shock or load. All of the SSRIs take several weeks to several months to stabilise their impacts on neurochemistry. A typical reactive depression would have run its course by then.

I do hope you make a greater effort to understand the treatments you administer to your patients.

You might like to look at this reference, which is a good rundown on citalopram (cipramil), one of the first-option SSRIs. You probably administer it to your elderly patients so they're easier to manage.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Citalopram

You might also like to look at this reference

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reactive_depression

"Primary care physicians and other non-psychiatrist physicians have difficulty diagnosing depression. Non-psychiatrists miss two-thirds of cases and unnecessarily treat other patients."

Unless the person suffers from chronic depression, SSRIs are unlikely to be useful and can actually make people feel much worse for some time. They xB also create a chronic situation simply because the drugs themselves require a long "tapering-off" period if the decision is made to stop their use

In relation to his feelings of depression and despair, exercise will help a lot towards alleviating this. Even if he just starts with some nice long walks eg into town and back. If he does physical things eg working on the house or in the garden he'll feel like he has engaged with life by the end of each day. If he's feeling really stressed, a good hard workout, eg a fast walk up a steep hill (provided his cardiac fitness is good)until he gets puffed and sweaty - should work wonders for feeling stressed and anxious. When I'm stressed I try to throw myself into a physical workout. Not the time you really want to do it, but it does help me when I do. It doesn't remove the problem, but it will help to ease its intensity. This will get his feel good endorphins up and it's a good way of bringing about positive changes to his mental/physical health and well-being. I think it can be a bit annoying though, people telling you you should be exercising. A good way to get him going could be to take him on a long walk with a bit of a picnic lunch for the half-way point. Ask him how he feels at the end of the day so he can feel it for himself. There are also some good teas that are helpful for physical well-being and can be quite calming. Rosehips tea is good I find, plus it's supposed to be good for the immune system which his will be under threat due to your friend experiencing apparent symptoms of depression.