‘They’ve long divided public opinion and now speedos and other tight swimming briefs have been banned from a UK water park.

Major tourist attraction Alton Towers says the minute male swimwear is inappropriate for a family venue. Dubbed the battle of the bulge, the park wants visitors to wear less revealing board shorts instead.

Even in Queensland surf lifesaving officials have introduced uniform board shorts as an alternative swimwear to the traditional too-much-information speedos.’

(Courier Mail 12 August)

Dear oh dear oh dear!

Prudery raises its ugly head!

The Poms can have their prudish attitudes if they must but please, we don’t want that sort of thing in sunny Queensland!

Anyone interested in expressing a view?

Ludwig I posted this over on one of the other threads but it might be relevent here as well, the other extreme http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8197917.stm

So on the one hand mens attire which covers the bulge is banned because there is to much information and womens attire which covers almost everything and possibly does not provide enough information is banned across the channel. Given how widely rash shirts and board shorts are worn as swimming attire the health risk angle looks like a convenient excuse.

If it's a privately owned (and not getting government support) business I've not got any great objections to them setting their own rules. I'm also assuming that a water park is different to a place where people go to swim laps (where board shorts are very awkward).

I do get concerned by what appears to be a growing trend to prudishness and trying to individual choices about attire.

R0bert

"Budgie smugglers" - what great Aussie terminology!

I remember the phrase being dropped at work once, when one of our bosses came in and expressed complete puzzlement at what it meant.

"Well they're about the right size and they move around the right amount", I hinted. Still, there was no flicker of recognition.

Ah well, the world's full of different people. Everyone to their own, I reckon.

The regulation is clearly sexist and should be chalenged in the courts.

Men are not allowed to wear as little as they like but women are allowed to wear the briefest of bikinis.

all hell is planned to break out[22nd]...and the best topic we got is smuggling ppp-ricks...no comment worthy of reply in two days..my other forums gone cold...and i got nothing to say

we could have been questioning question time question but moderator couldnt get the cryptic topic ...so topic refused...well we all got the import of this topic...via placaebo affect..the question we get when we want to put questening minds back to sleep

we just had a boat full if lumber go missing..[ater spending two weeks loading at a secret base]...so where does the sailing time allow it to go to in the time pre the next set up 911...being set up to distract the demolishing of iran by...you guessed it...or maybe you dont...

anyhow dont say you didnt read the signs...blind freedy could...as long as he isnt... asleep...or hynotised by smugg leers in boat sized budgies going their planck time..yet again

budgie smugglers indeed...you know where you can stick it?

One under God,

I know who stole you lumber!!

Oh well! If that's going to happen then we'll just have to ban any woman from wearing a cossy if she is under 5'2" & weighs over 57 kilos. or over 5'3" & weighs over 63 kilos.

Fairs fair now.

Weenie roasters are outlawed? The catastrophe of it all!
On the bright side without them being clearly on display can we look forward to hope for the weenies having a chance at the babes?
Maybe the population numbers will fall?
Lawyers will go broke not having false advertising claims to feed their BMWs.

And to think of all the electrons that will die in the name of the right to show a penis or pretend ones!

Perhaps you should go to PNG and bulk buy penis gourds, some of them are a meter long. But their stone age people.

Ludwig haven't you heard of Skin cancer, AGW increased ultra violet 'B'
Have you seen some of the 70s sun babes today with scars,skin like bad fitting leather, sun spots and blemishes and isn't Qld the skin cancer state. And who pays for the ops?
Yup we all have the right to burden the health system.
Oh yes of course stone aged attitude men particularly middle aged fat ones have the right to thrust their limited resources in everyone's faces (that's why the devil created nude beaches). How appealing.

What next?

Compulsory Burkinis?

Shadow minister, sorry but they are banned as well.
It's the standard uniform of board shorts (without a coloured trim around the hem thanks) and rash shirt on top or stay home.

One the approved colours and patterns are published I'll let you know.

R0bert

Of course budgie smugglers should be banned if the merest outline and movement of a penis is enough to drive women wild with desire. It is meat left out uncovered isn't it, to be devoured by cats (no familiar terms please). No wonder so many women are caused to avert their eyes and shield their children from such sights. It is completely understandable if easily inflamed women should call for a voluminous tent in the shape of large boardies to conceal men's charms.

Fortunately the same water park has also considered the effect of men's body hair on women and is proposing body waxes for men as a solution. No limitation - chin to toe and even Tasmania will be de-forested.

Men should revolt against this assault upon their rights and being treated as sex objects. It is time to bring the Black Russian codpiece into mass production. Maybe it could have a little slit at the end too with a mesh like a burqa, so the wee little thing can still have a look around.

A new dark age of wowerism is almost upon us.

Cornflower:”Of course budgie smugglers should be banned if the merest outline and movement of a penis is enough to drive women wild with desire.”

I just seem to be agreeing with you all over the place tonight Corny.

And hubby just got a good laugh out of the fact that when looking at the title of the thread I was wondering who was exporting native birds and what the story was. I asked him if there had been something on the news about budgies being smuggled and he gave me one of those looks. Hope he damn well enjoys his celibate weekend.

But anyhoo… Did you see the poor Muslim women in “cover everything bathers” were kicked out of a public pool on that ACA show tonight? Wow.

Aaaaaa hahhahaha Funny stuff Jewely!

Burkini banned! It is all over the news this evening.

It is interesting to note that at the same pool in France where this happened, and presumably at all French public pools, ‘men must wear brief trunks rather than shorts, which are said to be more likely to harbour bacteria’: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article6793574.ece

Well…at least the French aren’t prudes!

So um, Mrs Piper, do women really get turned on by men in speedos…if they are reasonably physically fit and good looking …compared to the same men in boardshorts or other daggy attire?

Oh,the world of non-ordinary sexuality where men become something more than mere mortals with foibles so bare.Sluggos or budgey smugglers will never outshine the pure beauty of the female form in a bikini.So guys,let the women do it better and put on the board shorts.

Ludwig:”So um, Mrs Piper, do women really get turned on by men in speedos…if they are reasonably physically fit and good looking …compared to the same men in boardshorts or other daggy attire?”

Females in general will glance, do a mental cringe along with a silent “eewww” and then some instinctive self protection will take over so that we don’t accidentally look in that direction again. We just don’t enjoy THAT MUCH information.

Hey at a basic biological level don't men do a hip to waist ratio check? But is there a equivalent for women?

PP
I think the test is more along the lines of does she have one and how do I get access to it.

The right hip waste ratio is only applied by the 'ego' over burdened.
Most males that look that hard have difficulty concentration on such numerological esoterica as you describe let alone two concepts at once.

:-)

Years ago I was chatted by a top model of the time she was delicious...until she spoke. Imagination is far more tantalizing/seductive I find.

I think that we should get rid of the bikini & the budgie smugglers all together. We should just go swimming in the Alltogether.

The only objection I could see would come from the religious fundamentalists & those who think they are "the beautiful people."

Everybody knows what the human body looks like nowadays. Once the initial shock was over, nudity would become the norm. Just think, no more perverts. It would all become just so ho hum. ;-)

Cornflower and Pied have said it all.

"uncovered meat" - I am still laughing at that one.

"Of course budgie smugglers should be banned if the merest outline and movement of a penis is enough to drive women wild with desire."

I guess that'd mean the end of Shirvo's athletics career too. [joke]

And the Church should commission a sculptor to chisel out a pair of wrinkled boardies to put over David's you-know-whats. [joke]

Dear Ludwig,

"...If a bloke's got a rigid digit,
what is he to do?
Stick it in some board shorts,
Simply out of view.

But if he's wearing smugglers,
Gawd, that's going to be 'iffy,'
'Cause there's no where there
That he can hide a very erect - 'stiffy!'

Exam:”Years ago I was chatted by a top model of the time she was delicious...until she spoke. Imagination is far more tantalizing/seductive I find.”
You lucky bugger. Was she like from Liverpool or something?
“The right hip waste ratio is only applied by the 'ego' over burdened.”

Good one. If I had to pick a part I like, it has to be forearms in males. And lucky me, they’re almost always on display.

Foxy.[giggle] On your way out tonight? I have teens gathering here. The 17 – 19 year olds, I feel an evening regularly yelling at everyone to shuddup is inevitable at this point. And they are all so damn good looking, there must be much better fashion, pimple cream and products available to youth these days.

PP
Nah she had one topic...her we spent our first date looking at proofs of her over dinner. She seemed to considered that foreplay .
The female equivalent of Tom Cruise hot (so I'm told) but we all have advanced 'alieness?' depending on how much we donate to Scientology? come on girls that has to be a turnoff.
I always seethe bump and grind as just part of sex. The sexiest organ we all possess is unseen...what's inside the head.
Otherwise uggs like me would never get laid... hmmm perhaps that explains a lot.

;-)

Ludwig
What I don't understand how a conservationist like you tolerates budgie smuggling? Have we really got that many prime specimens of budgies that we can afford to smuggle them? and to where? Asia? I'm told they'll eat just about anything they can cook eyyww?

Ok... the corner for me.....:-(

Dear Piper,

I'm staying in tonight. I don't dare go anywhere.
I had too much red wine (giggle).
I'd better not post anymore -'cause I may lose all
my inhibitions - then regret it later.

Enjoy your night.

Cheers.

Here budgie, budgie, budgie...

Exam:”Nah she had one topic...her we spent our first date looking at proofs of her over dinner. She seemed to considered that foreplay .”
If she was like that then you are a big fat liar, she would never have gone for an ugg.

“The female equivalent of Tom Cruise hot (so I'm told) but we all have advanced 'alieness?' depending on how much we donate to Scientology? come on girls that has to be a turnoff.“

I never liked Tom, thought he looked like a wombat. As a young girl I wanted to marry Yule Brenner. In the “look at only” department my Son likes Jessica Alba (says before she was pregnant though), Hubby says Halle Berry. Daughter says Tom Welling – Yuck, he’s so boring looking or Vin Diesel… yeah I agree on that one.

“I always see the bump and grind as just part of sex. The sexiest organ we all possess is unseen...what's inside the head.”

Absolutely, it’s well documented that the more you love someone the better looking they become to you anyway. Like all the ugly babies I get and about a week later I think they’re beautiful.

Hey Foxy, it’s a countdown for bedtime for littlies here and then all my yelling at the teens will begin, they cooked a feed on the barbee, sung some awful song to me and now I am listening to much giggling and a base beat in the background.

I had a docs allegation against me a few months ago where it was claimed I was drunk online. How nuts is that?

“I think that we should get rid of the bikini & the budgie smugglers all together. We should just go swimming in the Alltogether.”

Yes Jayb! Nude beaches should be the norm. Non-nudist beaches could be here and there, with copious signs so that no one accidentally does the natural thing of taking all their clothes off go for a swim or a lie in the sun!

But noooo, we couldn’t have that. We’ve got to maintain the charade of covering our ‘naughty’ bits…….even though there is nothing naughty about them. How stupid it all is!

“Everybody knows what the human body looks like nowadays. Once the initial shock was over, nudity would become the norm. Just think, no more perverts. It would all become just so ho hum. ;-)”

No more perverts eh? Interesting point. Well I certainly can’t see that problems with perverts would be any worse if it was all out there in the open.

“Here budgie, budgie, budgie...”

Ooow Foxy, you really are foxxxy!

.
You’ve set the budgie a tingling

What’s a bloke to do?

Go take a cold shower

Before it turns into a cock a too!

Ah Ludwig, sounds to me like those Qld goils just can't help
themselves having impure thoughts, when they see you parading up
and down the beach in your budgie smugglers, so they need
legal protection from their own natural instincts :)

Dear Yabster,

Can't speak for everybody - but us young ones
tend to 'go with flow!'

Dear Ludwig,

Ever swam in the nude?

It feels like velvet ...

"A bather whose clothing was strewed,
By winds that left her quite nude,
Saw a bloke come along,
And unless I am wrong,
You expected this line to be lewd!"
(This one I got off the web).

Yes Yabby. I can understand why chicks have impure thoughts when they see me in my cockatoo…er..budgie smugglers!!

I’m just soooo sexy!
.
.
.
.
Oh well…at least I can fantasise! (:<(

“Dear Ludwig,

Ever swam in the nude?”

Indeed I have Foxy, on this very day, on wonderful Magnetic Island.

Got a sunburnt whooziewhatsit this time, dammit! ( ;~ o

Dear Ludwig,

Magnetic Island - Lucky you!

Still, it's not too bad here in Melbourne - I
spent the greater part of the afternoon -
lingering with friends over an array of
wonderful cheeses, and a glass of wine
- in front of a roaring
fire ...

Life is very satisfying!

Alright, that’s it. I’m out of this office and down to the beach for a swim and a run in m’ budgie smugglers.

Tootles!