rehctub

'We live in a free country and you can do and beleive what ever you like, but please don't ram it down my throat.'

I see the tolerant supposedly correcting the intolerant. Simply stating an opinion on OLO is mot ramming it down your throat. You are free as everyone else is to accept, ignore or reject God's instructions. You do however display much intolerance in trying to silence others from stating a view. It does seem ironic though that you chose to do something you obviously don't hold in a high regard.

"The history of marriage, in the western world, is overwhelmingly characterised by the subjugation of women and children by men!"

Ah that would explain why you hear so many men complaining about women not being ready to commit. Why weddings are so focussed on the men. I'd oftenb wondered about that.

On the other hand it could be that marriage has been a structure with strengths and weaknesses for both genders. That both have had benefits and loss in the deal and that often it's entered into with different expections by the parties involved sometimes with great results and sometimes disasterous results.

It could be that at the heart of marraige has been the idea of both adults subjugation themselves for the sake of the children they raise. It could be that marriage has often involved great self sacrifice by both parties and that when viewed through a favourite pair of coloured glasses it may be possible to miss the sacrifices of one side.

In answer to the original question, I don't think we have all the answers yet. We suspect that marriage has taken a beating with the change in other values in society and that some of the traditional views don't work so well in that context. I don't think that means that the basic idea of a long term committment to another is invalid or worthless.

It may mean that we have to rethink what it all means when that committment is treated by many as a hold on the other rather than an act of their own committment.

R0bert

I recently came across an interesting article
in a magazine called, "Notebook," Feb. 2009.
while waiting in the doctor's office. The article
was called, "What is love actually?"

Here's a few quotes," Love and affection are
beneficial throughout life, and people know this
innately. Marriage isn't compulsory, of course,
and it's likely to occur less frequently in the
future, but it's a fair bet people will continue
to fall in love and try to find harmony together
just as they always have."

I feel that people will want to take care of themselves
by trying to find what they need to nurture their souls,
and give meaning to their lives. This might be with
another person, in which case it will help to satisfy
their need for intimacy, companionship. sexual fulfilment,
warmth and affection. Or they might find it with a group
of friends, in caring for others, in listening to or
playing music, creating works of art, enjoying sport -
whatever satisfies their emotional appetite.

The bottom line is - our relationships will only be as
satisfactory, as we are in ourselves.

Runner, this is the post I reacted to. If it was not meant to tell us that gods way was the only way, then I appologise.

Yopu said,
If people want God's blessing on their relationship then they will get married. If they want to live in sin then they can expect the consequences. Marriage was God's idea and not man's.

I will let the others decide whether I over reacted. To me, this looks like it's gods way, or you don't get married.

Then you posted this
It does seem ironic though that you chose to do something you obviously don't hold in a high regard.

Correct me if I am wrong. But it appears that in your view, that unless I follow god I should not be married.

What crap, I treasure my marriage and have worked very hard to save it at times, in fact, we both have and are a better couple for it.

Just because I don't worship some myth does not make me a worse person, just as you are no worse than me because you do. But hey, how many non believers spend their weekends visting and anoying you lot trying to convince you of a better way?

Believe what you wish, but leave me out of it mate!

Marriage patterns vary considerably around the world. In some cases they reflect differing economic realities, different child raising needs, the need to reduce conflict over women, shortages of a specific sex or simply some men having the power to hog more than their share of women.

What is interesting about our society is the rapid change in some of these factors during my lifetime. For example, it is not all that long since most women depended on their husbands to define the woman's status and for economic support. Not long ago too since friends married because they were concerned that the woman could be in trouble for openly living in sin.

In addition, couples are more alone in the sense that there is no longer a nearby relatives to supply support when things get difficult.

Lucky people like me will continue to want permenant relationships with that very special person. However, the social and economic pressures to aim for this are diminishing. My guess is that emotional support, help with raising children, sex etc. may be provided by different people and stronger networks instead of one person. For some people arrangements that involve more than two adults may become more comments. But it is all a guess.

rehctub you write

'Just because I don't worship some myth does not make me a worse person, just as you are no worse than me because you do.'

Agreed it just leaves you lost in sin like every other unbeliever. Your denial of a Creator certainly helps you live a lie.

'But hey, how many non believers spend their weekends visting and anoying you lot trying to convince you of a better way?'

You obviously believe what you like and are not backward in stating it on OLO.