Hey you kids, get off my lawn!

I've raised three children to adulthood - no drugs; no disrespect. They are industrious in work and university; kind and generous.

I could count the number of smacks delivered to them all on one hand. The few that were given were in the interests of their personal safety when they were tots - one tap on the fingers can say a thousand words.

As a parent I aimed for influence rather than control. Discipline means teaching, not just punishing.

Recently a young single mother who is a wonderful parent told me that she raises her little boy to be considerate rather than compliant. I like that.

A child terrorized into compliance grows into an adult whose sense of self is vested in gaining the approval of others - usually the approval of anyone who seems like an authority figure. A scared sheep will follow anyone who seems to have more authority.

I prefer a thinking individual whose sense of self is vested in doing good by others - in treating other people as they expect and want to be treated. I don't think the cane will help.

Gibo,

I was of the generation when the cane was permitted. In fact, I received the can on a few but not many occasions. I totally disagree with it. It is open to abuse. A valium for the teaher.

Moreover, I recall a Mr G., who would tell pupils to come there punishment at a certain time, the send the students away. This little sadist would run through this routine three or four times over two or three days, before canning. Also, I have seen "six" in such a way that it was say over the top, the eighteen years six former was also hysterical from the pain. And in primary, school a Mr McC. missed and scarred the child for life across his face. I can still remember the Mr McC. looking himself in a storeroom escape the boy's father intent on doing McC very serious harm and with good cause, me thinks.

I strongly disagree with corporal punishment and don't believe in its use, full stop-up. Even then I would rather see speeding motors can by police before pupils by teachers.

If you were an orthodox Jew, corporal punishment would blasphemy, as physical punishment is as held to be an assault on their God's creation in the image of the same

Gibo,
With a number of years in frontline community service and dealing with problem I have never seen a case where the cane would have resolved the issue.

In fact I have witnessed several incidents where and when the cane was applied escalate to a far more dangerous situation.
i.e. I’ve seen adolescents start a campaign against a teacher and his family. Like it or not to be able to prosecute the culprits one needs legally determined proof.
In FACT as a consequence the teacher had obscenities written in kero on his lawn, bins turned over, paint bombs on his car and the fire brigade called to his house…meanwhile a house burnt down and two children lost their lives. No one could/was be charged.
Pride righteous indignation is one thing but not if someone else has to pay. What counts in the long run is rectifying the multiple causes.
The broader the law the greater level of enforcement required and the greater the probability of innocent victims.
Likewise there is NO Supportable PROOF that justifies your assertion.
Sadly cries for this type of punitive behaviour is simple naïve and simplistic (a simple answer for a complex question)

Deterrents an punitive punishments are like locks only keep honest people honest.
Likewise, my one and only beef with religious people is that some confuse public policy with personal beliefs.
Tolerance dictate the separation of the two. In NO way am I casting any aspersions on anyone’s personal religious beliefs. The issue you raise is public policy.

Dear Gibo,

Punishment does not deter misconduct.

No child says to himself/herself, while
being punished, "I am going to improve.
I am going to be a better person, more
responsible, generous, and loving."

Children know that punishment is rarely
administered for their benefit, that it
serves the needs of the punishing adult.

The fact is, those who rely on retribution
invite revenge. He/she who resorts to
verbal vilification and physical force
teaches violence.

You can't bash or cane somebody into
being good.

Good discipline is a series of little
victories in which a teacher, or a parent,
through small decencies, reaches a
child's heart.

A true disciplinarian is someone who can
move children from terror to trust.

"Don't children have to be taught
responsibility and respect, if not by
persuasion, then by punishment?"

Ethical concepts such as responsibility, respect,
loyalty, honesty, charity, mercy can't be
taught directly. They can only be learned in
concrete life situations from people one
respects not fears. One grows into virtue;
one can't be forced by punishment.

Teachers and parents who out of desperation blame
and shame, reproach and rebuke, threaten and
punish. These methods not only fail to correct;
they provide the troubled child with
justification for past misbehaviour and with an
excuse for future offense.

Foxy

'Punishment does not deter misconduct.'

Please explain why Singapore is among the safest places in the world to be in. People and property are actually respected. Punishment does deter misconduct with the vast majority of people. Our legal system is pathetic because most parents are to gutless to love their children enough to discipline in any useful manner. Yesterday I watched a young kid throw a huge tantrum and then ran on to a road. The mother's response was to tell him father christmas won't come if he continued. Of course he continued and this modern day parent could not bear for father christmas not to come even if the little brat murdered his sister.