Well...this has turned out to be quite a rich source of thought, even in just a short time.

All views are helpful here I think.

The two most opposite are that of Gibo and CJ. and I can agree with both.

CJ.. while you give cautious advice there, and highlight the dangers of simplistic 'spiritual' solutions "repent, Jesus etc" err..yes, I've seen, met, encountered that type, who will by default attribute such behavior to 'demonic' forces. I know of people who have died because of being told 'Just have faith' and don't bother with the doc.....and when they die, "Oh..their faith was not enuf" or.."they had sin in their lives still"...

At the same time CJ... Gibo does have some points. I've seen that side also. While you tend to not embrace the idea of 'spiritually' based psychological problems, I definitely assure you (as would Gibo) they are real. Of course, the problem is in knowing the true source of such problems. Its also possible she is into 'Goth' death loving cult type stuff.

Foxy.. thanx for the suggestion. I would'nt really feel comfortable going to her employer.. he has eyes as well, and I think she might feel that such a move went 'over her head'.. but I appreciate the thought.

In a way.. my bringing the issue to 'here' is a kind of cathartic thing for myself. I know I can't do much for her personally, except as Romany said "crack a joke or two and be pleasant"

To me, the answer to all such problems is a sense of assurance that we are loved, and not by someone who is going to prove unreliable or 2faced. I'm talking here about 'Agape' love.. that of God. "Religious meddling" is the last thing on my mind

Stg..... although you said you had 'no answers'... the point you made about being able to 'control and re-direct pain' is one which did not cross my mind, but that is a very insightful thought.

The tragedy is, if a person has so much pain that they feel so desperate as to 're-direct' it in that way to obtain a sense of control and indpendance... sheesh.. how bad must be the pain?

For those who know the Lord.. you know what I'm going to say.. pray.. bring her before the Lord ..lift her up in your own quiet place to Him who loves more than all.

cheers.

Yes stay out of it in this case do not talk to her boss please!
It must be known to them and just maybe the fact she is working there is part of a help plan.
She could be sacked if the boss thinks she is hurting custom, then? she could get far worse without a job.

Dear David,

I've had a re-think - thanks to the other posters. They're right.
Don't get involved. It didn't occur to me that she'd lose her job.
As Romany pointed out - its probably her 'life-line.'

So yes - stay out of it.

Woah...woah.. *rewind* :) this was not about 'me' doing something....

it was a story of a young person, and raises the question 'why'......

do people harm themselves?

I've benefited wonderfully from some of the responses.. the "don't intervene" ones are not scratching where I'm itching.. I'm not about to 'intervene'... I simply try to communicate love and encouragement to people in need by mannerisms... facial expression..jokes..

I want to underline again that the most important thing all of us can ever experience is genuine selfless love.

This is what was expressed by the 'dirty gentile'(to the Jewish mind) Samaritan to the Jew who had been bludgeoned and left for dead by robbers. He picked up the victim.. gave him safe accomodation and left it open ended "If any more expense is required, charge it to my account" We note from this parable, that the Priest passed by in disdain... as did a 'Levite'... only the 'scumbag Samaritan' took the trouble to help...

People sometimes say "Jesus taught nothing the Rabbi's didn't already teach"...well..I disagree, THIS was very radical.. very different.. no Rabbi would have spoken highly of a Samaritan..but Jesus deliberately used this character to challenge the racist/religious stereotypes of the day.

So.. as a separate question 'should we intervene'... and if so, how?
My view is.. to simply show the same love as the Samaritan did... where we can help.. we do. We don't probe into the persons life "Hmm did you not kNOW that this was a dangerous road?! err.. Why did you travel at NIGHT?! umm..didnt ur parents teach you about such things?

etc.. nope.. he was down..and the Samaritan picked him up.
Just 'being there with a sincere cheery smile' can change a persons life.

I used to do this, and believe it or not, I actually consider it a valid alternative therapy. Well certainly better than nothing, and a form of self medication. It does get quite addictive though.

Anyway, I agree with StG.