Naming conventions are changing in the area of marriage, as a growing number of women either merge their own surname with that of their husband or simply shun the latter altogether.

Should the tradition of passing the surname through the male line be upheld? Or is this practice outdated and sexist?

Should a woman keep her surname when she marries? Do you think a woman compromises her individual identity and professional reputation if she loses her name?

What do you think of double-barrelled names?

Does sticking to two separate names erase some of the romance of marriage?

I'd like to know what you think...

foxy, i think marriage is obsolete,in it's traditional sense. in modern society, i think a group of 6-1o adults ought to enter a partnership to raise children of the group. they should aim to replace themselves, or a little less, until population pressure on the ecology is sustainable.

within the group, one or two would be responsible for child-minding, the others for income production. the group should adopt a surname, such as 'smith4361"

Dear Demos,

You're not much help to me, unfortunately... I was hoping to get some answers to the questions I've listed up above. Because I've got a bit of a personal dilemma at the moment. It's my future daughter-in-law who's insisting on keeping her maiden name - when she marries my son next year. Here I thought I was a very "with it" person, and I must admit I'm really struggling with her decision ...

Foxy, you are good at picking on touchy subjects!

It probably comes down to what suits the individual. My sister is recently married and she has hyphenated hers. I changed my name (I didnt really want to, but my husband is ultra conservative and probably would have called off the wedding if I didnt - which should have served as a warning). We are both fond of our family name, as its a one-off; everyone in the world with that name can be traced back to one place.

Plenty of professional women go by two surnames - their own at work (usually because this is the name that their qualifications are in), and their married name at home/socially.

Is your daughter-in-law from a family of just girls? In my personal experience, where there is no son to "pass-on" the family name, girls seem more likely to want to retain theirs. She has no doubt got a good reason, but it may be a very personal one that she is not comfortable sharing.

The practice of using the mothers maiden name as a middle name for one of the children used to be common. Also, if you go back to our convict past, convict women who bore chldren (whether married or not), gave their own surname to those children (it makes researching family history in the convict era VERY tricky at times).

Dear Country Gal,

Thanks so much for your comments. My future daughter-in-law has a brother, but I'm not sure if he's a step-brother, so his surname may be different to hers. You've given me something to think about, which is what I was looking for in starting this thread - so again, Thank-you.

I wouldn't worry about it too much Foxy. She can change her name at any time after they are married. My wife wanted to keep hers and I had no problem with that, until of course she got pregnant and then fill out the forms for "fathers name" etc. and also on my sons birth certificate. It looked a little odd of course even though we were married, and then she realised that it may cause some confusion (and raised eyebrows from nonothing busybodies) down the track and decided to change her name to mine for convenience sake. She's actually happier to have the same last name as her children.