Smart man, that Thomas Ellis.

“Darren: The one idea from the book that stood out for me was your notion that while men are goal-focused, women are more obstacle-focused…?

Tom: I've noticed for a long time that women often pursue activities they have no real interest in, driven by an obsession to prove something. There's always some obstacle they want to confront, the actual goal being secondary. Sometimes the obstacle is fear, or sometimes it's a sense of inadequacy. In case you hadn't noticed, in the last 30 years, their favorite obstacle is now – us. They set us up as oppressors, then get angry and go out to do all that stuff we keep them from doing. Most women don't want to play golf – unless they're somehow spiting us oppressive men in the process. “

And his advise to men?

“I've been asked for advice a lot since the book came out, and it seems really strange to me. It's like asking someone for advice on flying because they've crashed the most planes. So, I guess I can advise on what not to do. Don't focus so much on meeting a woman's needs that you neglect your own. Don't sacrifice your own viewpoints just because it makes her so happy when you concede to her. Don't tolerate psychotic behavior no matter how good she is in bed. If she even mentions feminism, women's studies or male oppression, run like hell. Don't believe her when she says she can't get pregnant – always use a condom. She can get out of it, you can't. Don't let a woman, her family, or society pressure you into marriage if that's not what you want. Also, don't get married unless you're willing to accept that you will have less sex, that you will be expected to apologize for everything no matter who is at fault, and that most likely, your wife will feel unfulfilled no matter what path she chooses. That said, give them a shot. Just understand the risks you are taking. “

http://www.mensnewsdaily.com/archive/a-b/blacksmith/2005/blacksmith032605.htm

Once again the same old, tired old, usual suspects are venting their vitriol upon women for no greater reason than an article looking at the progress of equal rights for women. Apparently the very idea that women want to be treated as equals enrages such as these to blame women for, well, pretty much any of the world’s ills one cares to name.

Not all men are like the above mentioned, of course, many realise that they are just as trapped by stereotypes as women,traditional forms of masculinity — based on being emotionally shut-down, dominating others, work-obsessed and aggressive — are often seen now as obsolete, unhealthy and indeed downright oppressive.

Many men are flourishing and are enjoying having more trusting, respectful and egalitarian relationships with their wives and partners, having greater connections with female and male friends, and being involved fathers to their children. Men show increased support for women’s paid work outside the home; young men are taking greater responsibility for contraception and safe sex; and there is increased attention to the quality of fathering.

To be gender-just is to be guided by principles of equity and social justice.

Through their loyalty and closeness to particular women — a mother, a partner, a friend, a sister, a daughter — some men come to an intimate understanding of the injustices suffered by women and the need for men to take action.

Feminism offers men the possibility of freedom from a way of life that has been isolating, violent, obsessively competitive, emotionally shut down and physically unhealthy.

If men are to be effective participants in action to achieve gender equality, they will have to do so in partnership with women. Cross-gender partnerships and alliances are the crucial foundation of men’s involvement in gender justice.

Men are therefore necessarily also part of the solution. If men do not change, then gender justice is simply impossible.

Scout, excellent post.

R0bert

Is it possible that women are more obstacle focused because they come up against more obstacles?
Just a thought.....

WOW Scout, sounds like Michael Flood!

"Once again the same old, tired old, usual suspects are venting their vitriol upon women for no greater reason than an article looking at the progress of equal rights for women. Apparently the very idea that women want to be treated as equals enrages such as these to blame women for, well, pretty much any of the world’s ills one cares to name."

If you actually took the time to read properly and in particular the books I have referred too and especially the article "Neil Lyndon's" case. http://www.ukmm.org.uk/issues/suppression/nl.htm

There is no vitriol etc etc.

Cathy Young Consciousness Raising 101 Inside the gender studies classroom is well worth reading.
http://www.reason.com/0302/co.cy.consciousness.shtml

You talk about gender equality but only from the aspect that is men who must change, this is not gender equality. Gender equality envoles both genders being respectful of each other and treating each ohter fairly as well as having the same rights.

This means that men have as much right as you to express their thoughts and ideas etc. Men are often accused of being poor communicators and yet when they try to explore issues which are important to them, and which are not along the lines of the feminist party line every attempt is made to shut them down.

Erin Pizzey writes about what she calls the family terrorist, who remains hidden.

It is both genders which are the parts of the problem and until they can get there act together! There will always be a problem

Scout

'Once again the same old, tired old, usual suspects are venting their vitriol upon women for no greater reason than an article looking at the progress of equal rights for women. Apparently the very idea that women want to be treated as equals enrages such as these to blame women for, well, pretty much any of the world’s ills one cares to name."

I work at a health resort patronized mainly by women, the amount of unchallenged vitorol aimed solely at men is beyond belief. I don't usually bother with them, sometimes I do and always beat their lack of logic without resorting to name calling and hatred.

Sample arguements....

Men pollute the planet

Reply: Women are very materialistic and spend most of the family income or that gold ring you're wearing generates 3 tonnes of rubbish to produce, that does'nt include greenhouse gases etc it's just the rock. Most don't even know where gold or anything comes from despite being 'educated' it's just 'there'.

Men cause wars...

Reply: Some do (about .00001%), most would rather not, but many women are more than happy to enjoy the material fruits of those wars and invasions.

These same women also moan of having no man in their life, complain of sexism but read romance novels with alpha males as the romantic interest. Males who pursue and do manly things and don't take no for an answer. The kind they whinge about.

Anna re equal pay, when the workplace death rate is equal, when you produce equally and are equally adept at doing the many things that men, most unknown to you, do for your advantage and comfort. Then you'll get equal pay.