Wandii
I wish to follow up what you said about 'baiting people'. Thanx for the feedback, but I assure you I'm not trying to 'bait' anyone in a malicious or trivial manner. I've made forthright statements of course, and they are aimed at opening thinking. Clearly its working, but...we are not quite 'there' yet. Bear with me ok :)
OH.. I did notice it was a 'bex'.

Now, you said your skin is 'black' right ? This is suggestive of a different cultural background, so I'd like to explore this for a moment. What we expose, or don't expose is normally governed by commonly known standards which are derived from culture. In some Polynesian cultures, to show the breasts is ok, but the 'thigh' is a no-no. When I was in Borneo, most of the ladies had a child hanging off their breasts in church, its no biggy, culturally normal. In village situations, they were quite uninhibited about a fully exposed breast, but this was pretty much married ladies who had children. The young single women would not bear so much, because surprise surprise they actually know that exposed nubile female bodies are a turn on for men. (shock horror).

Now, for the record, all my comments about appropriate attire are equally directed at MEN as well as women. The point is not to deny or feel shame about this, (when its not flaunting or deliberate) but to realize that we DO effect our opposite gender, and its better to keep the more 'primal' instincts under brain control rather than 'other' control.

Do for others, as you would have them do for you. It boils down to what is at the centre of our being and aim in life. Do we seek to use our sexuality as some kind of social currency ? to 'get' what we want ? Or, do we put it into a healthy context and use it for upbuilding and mutual comfort and encouragement ?

Jane, thanx for the helpful advice about therapy and a B -ex :)

I think I'm ok, our main problem is that you and others seem to be projecting every worst case media stereotype myth and image about hyper fundamentalist bible thumpers onto what I say. You probably think I'm a cupboard AMISH :) using this forum to 'come out' ?

Don't get caught up in this issue as some incredible huge big deal that is 'the focus of what I live for'.

I'm on about sensitivity and thoughtfulness, and encourage all of us to try to act in ways which will always build up, rather than tear down. How we dress is just one part of that bigger piccy. It applies to how we speak, whether we 'use' people or not for our own social advancement, how we treat others in business and the work place etc.

But most of all, I believe we will be much more fulfilled people when we are rightly related to God through Christ. You would be amazed how it all 'comes together' with Him in our lives and hearts

Boaz

"But most of all, I believe we will be much more fulfilled people when we are rightly related to God through Christ. You would be amazed how it all 'comes together' with Him in our lives and hearts"

The above is what many posters mean by 'forcing the bible down our throats'. The above statement is not necessary - it does not relate to the issue, nor will it prevent women from being viewed as either madonnas or whores, nor does it make any difference to my life. I am happy and fulfilled as I am. I choose to wear what I like, how a man interprets my appearance is his problem - not mine.

Your provocative statements to this forum are a deliberate attempt to control the debate eg:

"I've made forthright statements of course, and they are aimed at opening thinking. Clearly its working, but...we are not quite 'there' yet."

When is "there yet" - when you have converted us all? When we women are all buttoned up and dressed according to your mores?

You claim that appropriate dress applies equally to men as well. Quite frankly I wish men would 'sex' it up a little more, most men dress in an almost antisexual manner - very boring. I like eye-candy as much as the next man. ;)

Ringtail - nicely said.
Not sure that a lot of us know how to sex it up a bit :( ,
especially once the youthful flat stomach does not sit so flat anymore.

So now it has become revealed (no pun intended). Women actually want men to become “eye candy”.

If a boy is allowed a father, then the father will have to take his young son aside, and explain to him that he must always respect women regardless of what they do, and he must become a sperm donor, a paypacket, and eye candy for women.

The father and young son can then bond by going to the clothes store and spend hours searching through clothes for that “sexy” little number.

Robert, why thank you. If I can look hot at age 45 then you can too. Its all about confidence and just a little style baby.

Cheers