Clarification:

The '29' male homicides in my post referred to the period 1 July 2000 and 30 June 2010, which is separate from the 2012-2013 DV statistics quoted - but still endorse the same findings.

Rhian, women attack inflict more DV on their innocent husbands than men do.

They also murder their children at more than double the rate that fathers do.

The elephant in a 6x4 room and no one can see it. I bet sex features heavily in cases of DV. To have and to hold. And now you say sex can constitute rape in the wrong circumstances. [That is a stacked Quote ]

It is nothing new, that men require sex more than women. Humans would be far in the minority when it comes to mating for life. Most other animals have multiple partners.

Some women have very little or nothing to do with sex. Others are sex willing until a certain time in life. And more are sex willing spasmodically.

A majority of men would be happy with sex every day. Others say they are celibate, but we know that is a life-size lie.

So how does the differences in sex behaviors be compatible, without stress, or confrontation, or out sourcing, of commodity.

No doubt DV comes in many forms and with many consequences.
Any solution to DV is going to be very hard to achieve, while marriage for life is the ultimate scenario played out.

It may be the best to understand what causes divorce first. Is DV a divorce that never happened but should have. Women persist in a DV relationship because they have to. A discussion in this matter is hardly for real when all or most persons here are male and you will never get a balanced discussion.

I do not believe blaming one side or the other in a relationship is healthy for debate. An outcome is going to be hard to achieve, while there are two persons in a wedded relationship.

The causes of DV would be hard to pin down as a single cause. To change attitudes will be just as hard to achieve without one side or the other being incarcerated, and how will that stop DV

There is one sure fire way for the violence towards women to stop and that is for them to not enter domestic relationships at all and if they are currently in one to leave immediately.

The problem is that they simply do not care enough about their safety. They are told repeatedly that there is a one in three chance of them being victims and yet they continue to rush into relationships or remain in them. Only a fool would risk such odds when it comes to personal safety.

Women who enter these relationships are addicted to romance. They are fed the romantic fairy tale from such a young age that they rarely see any alternative. They are constantly fed this lie on TV, in fiction, films and in women’s magazines. All these things promote romantic love as the pinnacle of happiness. It is one of the biggest lies in society. There is a multi-billion dollar industry built around this lie. They are told that their wedding day is the greatest day of their life – so what is there to look forward to after this?

Romance is a drug. I have seen women on their death beds pouring over Mills and Boon stories still waiting for the knight in shining armour. Who are the drug dealers but other women? Mothers, aunts, sisters, teachers, celebrities all try and convince their fellow women that this is what life is about. This is your goal. This is the only dream worth having.

Nearly every woman gets married because of this drug. They call it love like the alcoholic calls his drunkenness just ‘having a drink’. It is not love at all – love is something far greater than this manufactured and contrived sentimentality.

When the drug wears off women become very resentful and they blame the ordinary bloke they married for not being the knight they wanted. Slowly but surely that resentment becomes aggression and the put-downs,
the sarcasm, the taunts, the bullying and sometimes even the violence begins to become the norm. (cont)

(cont.)They find it hard to leave because they do not want to appear as though they have not fulfilled the dream – the ridicule of the other women (who are probably in the same state of denial) would be too hard to cope with.

They blame men for their misery and any cause which they can latch onto which helps deride men becomes their cause too. There must be something other than themselves which is to blame. The campaign against domestic violence gives them a voice, a kind of mob-mentality in which they all collude to place the blame for failed relationships at the hands of men.

No one has to swallow the myth of romance and no one has to enter domestic relationships or to remain in them. If there is a women’s movement or genuine feminism then it should be using all its powers of persuasion to debunk this myth and to stop women from entering domestic relationships at all. They should be telling young girls and women that the risk is too great and the first person you should love is yourself. How can you love anyone else when you show so little concern for your own welfare? Look at the statistics, look at the number of deaths – it is just not worth it.

But we hear nothing like this. Where are the women leaders imploring their sisters to go it alone or to get out while there is still time? They are probably standing around the water cooler discussing the last episode of the Bachelor. It is time these women either put up or shut up. If they are serious about reducing the numbers of DV incidents then they should be putting all their energy into this direction. It is the only action that is guaranteed to work.

Unless we hear of women’s groups actively engaged in stopping domestic relationships altogether then we can only conclude that the problem is not really important to them at all. They cannot hide behind such hypocrisy any longer.

Toni

Your suicide analogy is interesting. Men and boys are actually less likely to attempt suicide than women and girls, but they are significantly more likely to actually kill themselves when they do. The difference seems primarily due to significant differences in the methods used. Males are most likely to use violent means such as shooting and hanging, while females tend to favour overdose, which is less likely to be lethal and also takes longer, so increasing the chance of discovery before death.

There is some evidence that these patterns are changing, though.

http://whv.org.au/static/files/assets/141b28e2/Women_and_suicide_GIA.pdf

So no, I don’t accept that suicide is predominantly a male issue, but nor would I see it as one which we should approach “gender blind”. These gender differences are significant and suggest fruitful avenues for research as well as perhaps different approaches to managing the issue.

Imacentristmoderate

You say “women attack inflict more DV on their innocent husbands than men do.” That is not supported by any of the data I have seen. Can you back it up?

You also say: “they also murder their children at more than double the rate that fathers do.” This is not true, but filicide is unusual in being one of the few forms of violence in which women are about as likely to offend as men. Between 1997 and 2008, 291 children were killed by their parents in Australia: 140 by their fathers, 127 by their mothers, and 24 by both parents.

http://www.smh.com.au/national/seeking-to-understand-the-inexplicable-20120224-1trvd.html

Again, though, there are significant differences between mothers and fathers in the motives and means of filicide. The gender of perpetrators is part of this issue, too.