"I was wondering what the predominantly male contributors to this thread feel is an 'adequate' libido for a woman to have?"

4 times a day but Houellebecq might be up for more. It's like the dishes, we should not have to ask, it should just be part of the relationship.

"I think that if you don't like the libido of the one you are with, then either work it out amicably, or move on and shut up!"

If that's addressed to the male contributors then the point is that for some working it out may involve a release using porn and that there are some women who are not very amicable about that.

Any kind of sexual activity on his part should only happen on her terms, oh and if he moves on then he's one of those bastard men who abandon wife and kids for another women and hell hath no fury like ....

R0bert

Suse,

Is that an example of your understanding bedside manner?

What is it with emancipated women that they slap men down if they dare pipe up and say, "this is how it is for us"?

On this thread we've been discussing the pros and cons because this is an opinion/discussion forum. I can see why so many of "these" threads end up as slanging matches full of acrimony instead of maybe being a venue to glean the other gender's point of view.

Our genders are supposed to be complementary to each other, after all.

Suseonline,

sorry, only time for a quick answer:

I don't know, I never ask for it..

*I was wondering what the predominantly male contributors to this thread feel is an 'adequate' libido for a woman to have?*

I think its about attitude as much as anything, Suze. One of the
advantages of divorce (mine was a very amicable affair btw) is
that you have some experience of what its all about, but then get
to meet a whole lot of other women and learn about their perspective
of the world, relationships and life.

There is clearly a huge variation out there, between both women and men.

Some women seem to be able to understand a male perspective, some
simply don't care. Now if you are a bloke, going to sleep with a
raging hard on, is not the easiest of things to do. I've met
women who say "well if I can give somebody that I love some pleasure,
why should I not do it?"

Others claim that by saying yes, they are becoming a sex object.
Some use sex as a weapon, to get what they want out of the relationship.

I know of married blokes who faithfully hand over the paycheque
at the end of the week, only to be told "don't you bring that thing
near me".

Personally I have far more respect for women who try and understand both
perspectives and try to come up with solutions that suit both
partners, rather then those who just take from their relationships.

So I don't think its about always saying yes, but about accepting
and understanding that blokes are indeed different and should be
considered too, not just her agenda.

Some women are wonderful in that regard, some not, the variation is
huge

Yabby well said.

R0bert

RObert <"4 times a day but Houellebecq might be up for more. It's like the dishes, we should not have to ask, it should just be part of the relationship."

Lol Robert! That sounds like something my husband would say. He never has any complaints anyway... :)

Poirot, strangely enough we don't discuss libido's at the patient's bedside as a rule, although if they did want to discuss it, and it was something to do with their physical or mental problems, I would certainly do so without any hesitation.

Poirot <"I can see why so many of "these" threads end up as slanging matches full of acrimony instead of maybe being a venue to glean the other gender's point of view."

This thread has so far been skewed towards the male point of view, and I know from experience that anything I have to offer from a woman's point of view will be shot down pretty quickly on this male-dominated forum.

You are right that it is an opinion forum, and I, like your good self, have the right to my opinions in the form of questions.
If the thread is about women's supposedly declining libido's, then is it too much of a stretch to ask the other posters what their idea of a 'normal' woman's libido is then?

As far as I am concerned, men never needed porn to have a healthy sex-drive, or to find ways to relieve any unrelieved tension, but as long as all parties consent to the porn activities, and it is not violent and all are adults, then it doesn't bother me whether any adult watches it or not.