The National Forum   Donate   Your Account   On Line Opinion   Forum   Blogs   Polling   About   
The Forum - On Line Opinion's article discussion area



Syndicate
RSS/XML


RSS 2.0

Main Articles General

Sign In      Register

The Forum > Article Comments > Connecting the dots: porn and women's declining libido > Comments

Connecting the dots: porn and women's declining libido : Comments

By Petra Bueskens, published 5/3/2012

Women keep looking in the 'wallpaper' and it is turning them off!

  1. Pages:
  2. 1
  3. 2
  4. 3
  5. ...
  6. 15
  7. 16
  8. 17
  9. Page 18
  10. 19
  11. All
*I think you are mistaking modern day male and female humans for prehistoric human*

Not really Suze. How many women would find a husband, if there was
no sex involved?

*The 'sexual revolution' has happened and most women want to, and often demand to, enjoy a healthy sex life.*

Sex and money are still the two major points of argument in relationships,
according to marriage councellors etc. Just ask
Betina Arnt and similar, who study the subject.
The market proves my point. Just open the West in the classified
section and you'll find a couple of pages of women offering their
services, because there is demand from males, far larger then women
are offering to meet for free. Once again, women swapping sex for
resources.

Fact is that if you ask most women today, their kids and grandkids
are still the focus of their lives. Many work because they have to,
not because they want to. If they can do 3 days a week and earn
enough, that is exactly what they choose.

Snaring a rich husband or a bloke who earns 6 figures, is still
important to women. For they know that when they are nesting
the resources need to come from somewhere.

The thing is, there is nothing wrong with all this, its just how
nature is. Those trying to deny nature as she is, for their
own agenda, is what I find amusing.
Posted by Yabby, Sunday, 11 March 2012 4:10:06 PM
Find out more about this user Recommend this comment for deletion Return to top of page Return to Forum Main Page Copy comment URL to clipboard
Is Petra for real or was this article penned with tongue firmly planted in cheek?

I'd like to make several observations: Libido, male & female is quite heavily influenced by hormones as well as ones feelings about their partner and self. Male hormone levels tend to remain fairly steady, gradually waning with age. Female hormones are in a state of constant ebb and flow associated with the menstrual cycle, pregnancy and nursing and finally, menopause. In a general sense this helps explain the 'eveready' nature of the male and more 'specific' needs of the female.

A woman whose partner is obsessed with pornography or where his fantasies impact on their relationship in an unhappy way may have some well founded libido issues, but how common is this in the scheme of things?

In most caring relationships where hormonal influences are not to blame, the most likely causes of absent or lack lustre libido in the lady of the house are more likely to relate to health and well being issues than porn. A woman who is tired, stressed, run down is hardly likely to feel wildly sexy. Likewise the very overweight or underweight, those with chronic disease such as type 2 diabetes, arthritis or other painful complaints.

If all the above are ruled out, I'd suggest the woman may not be feeling the 'love' and needs some non-sexual attention to reassure her of her partners feelings and re-ignite the passion.

Heard it said and think it's pretty true: Women worry about what men think of their bodies. Men on the other hand, are usually just happy that a woman is taking off her clothes for them. Finally - a bird in the hand is worth much more than two in the bush ... or smutty mag/video/website. Go figure ..
Posted by divine_msn, Sunday, 18 March 2012 6:01:29 PM
Find out more about this user Recommend this comment for deletion Return to top of page Return to Forum Main Page Copy comment URL to clipboard
Well divine-msn, at the risk of killing-off a female contributor here, you're being a bit patronising! So you think men don't have any worries about body-image? And the state of being "eveready" is no sweat?
Men are just as insecure about their body's--though maybe not quite so obsessed and neurotic. In the end we take a fatalistic stance; she'll either roll over or not, so f---it. As for "eveready"; do women have the faintest idea of the pressure of having an erection eveready, to inspire her? Ladies' sexual readiness can easily be faked (though they prefer to just whinge and wine about their libido), but men are supposed to be masters of the universe--or at least of their sexual potency. I went out with a highly-sexed female once who I actually found a little intimidating, so much so that she affected my performance for a time (there were other factors). Do you suppose I got an ounce of sympathy? Oh no, she was actually offended and took it personally that I wasn't "eveready" at her behest.
Women "should" worry about their bodies! Because frankly if it's too gross I'd be happier if she kept her clothes on!
I don't appreciate male sexuality being dumbed-down like this. The fact that men like online porn so much says something about the ladies in bed--and it's not that the men are eveready!
Posted by Squeers, Sunday, 18 March 2012 6:34:06 PM
Find out more about this user Recommend this comment for deletion Return to top of page Return to Forum Main Page Copy comment URL to clipboard
Dear Squeers - poor fellow you! The article was about FEMALE libido so that is what I commented on - given the limitations on space and reader attention.

The male is NOT of course, always EVEREADY, thankfully for the manufacturers of Viagra and other 'assistance'. The point I was making related to hormonal influence on the sex drive and the relatively stable state of male sex hormones, with males being receptive a higher proportion of the time GENERALLY. Like ON AVERAGE. Get it?

Yes I'm aware men have body issues too. Just not as prevalent. The same health and well being issues that may impact female libido will likewise affect the male.

The authors slant is that loss of desire is happening within relationships. Your take seems to be based on casual sex. Much more pressure to perform eh. Oh and little sincerity or genuine affection, let alone love and trust. Sorry, I am older and old fashioned. I hope you find a partner who you fall in love with and who loves you and with whom you can feel secure and comfortable.
Posted by divine_msn, Sunday, 18 March 2012 8:40:11 PM
Find out more about this user Recommend this comment for deletion Return to top of page Return to Forum Main Page Copy comment URL to clipboard
divine_msn,
patronising and presumptuous still.
"Hormones" is indeed a popular excuse, that women are victim to and men favoured by, it seems. Sorry but it's hardly an exact science, such we can generalise about--like saying obesity's genetic.
As for me, the highly-sexed lady I allude to (one of a few I've known) was someone I fancied myself madly in love with, so much so I left my wife to be with her--though I was desperate to get away too! It was an extremely messy affair (the other factors I mentioned), my wife threatening suicide, and guilt and all that--but you'll be happy to know that my "hormones" have never let me down since, and I've never wanted for relationships either--though I've occasionally wished myself out of them. It seems to me there's much less pressure to perform in casual relationships, it comes naturally, whereas marriage seems calculated to kill the sex drive in both parties. What did Nietzsche say, "even concubinage has been corrupted, by marriage!"
Anyway, rather than blaming their hormones, perhaps the ladies should try being as robustly honest about relationships as men are wont to be, rather than talking crap about "falling in love". It happens to the best of us, but we really ought to grow out of it.
But the point ladies is you shouldn't take that erection for granted; it's a complicated business and the poor fellow's using all his nerve and sinew to keep it aloft! Whereas all you have to do is lie back and think of England.
Posted by Squeers, Sunday, 18 March 2012 9:14:44 PM
Find out more about this user Recommend this comment for deletion Return to top of page Return to Forum Main Page Copy comment URL to clipboard
Squeers - the article on which I made comment centred around the supposed effects of todays pornographic trends and ready availability on the FEMALE libido, suggesting porn was linked to loss of female desire.

I gave a differing viewpoint on that concept based on accumulated knowledge from a medical (scientific) background.

The story of your sex life along with various anxieties and neuroses quite frankly are not part of the subject. Cheers mate and goodnight.
Posted by divine_msn, Monday, 19 March 2012 12:16:49 AM
Find out more about this user Recommend this comment for deletion Return to top of page Return to Forum Main Page Copy comment URL to clipboard
  1. Pages:
  2. 1
  3. 2
  4. 3
  5. ...
  6. 15
  7. 16
  8. 17
  9. Page 18
  10. 19
  11. All

About Us :: Search :: Discuss :: Feedback :: Legals :: Privacy