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The Forum > Article Comments > Why can't a woman's s*xuality be more like a man's? > Comments

Why can't a woman's s*xuality be more like a man's? : Comments

By Leslie Cannold, published 10/6/2010

Is low libido in women pathological or just evidence that female s*xuality is different to men's? And is a pill the answer?

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>>> Indeed, even if we accept that marital disharmony resulting from mismatched desires for sex is a problem in need of address, is a pill really the answer? And if it is, why medicate women? Why not give men a drug to settle them down? <<<

Leslie, in the battleground of sexual politics, that's treason talk girl.

Male sexuality is the sun to female's dim little Pluto, besides there is a dollar to be made here. Not only are women not pretty enough, our libido is all wrong too.

Can't wait to read what the B&T brigade make of this - the ones who, apparently were dumped for a new interesting male partner >>> Indeed, while men tend to find their partners more desirable over time, women often need a new partner to rekindle desire. <<< They do? We do? No wonder the little dears are so traumatised.

Strap yourselves in, people, this is gonna be a bumpy ride. Whooooo hoooooo.
Posted by Severin, Thursday, 10 June 2010 11:27:26 AM
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Severin, "Can't wait to read what the B&T brigade make of this - the ones who, apparently were dumped for a new interesting male partner"

You wish, hence the usual severe blast on that dog whistle of yours.

General comment
Women are not alone in this as this article would suggest. Male sexual dysfunction has been a complaint and a joke since the dawn of time. How many women pay out on men for being 'limp dicks' and worse just to antagonise them?

There are so many graphic bill boards confronting men with their alleged sexual inadequacies in satisfying women that 'concerned mothers' are phoning shock jocks to complain, lest their children see them.

However entrepreneurs are also turning turning to women as a possible new client group - just as cosmetic industry is trying to turn more men into metrosexuals who cannot face the day without special 'recgenerating' cream for their faces, eyes and bods.

However through the success of Sex in the City and series like it, there is a very large rump of middle class, bored thirties something women out there who seem to believe that life has passed them by and desire some sexual action. Or maybe the market is there and these are just fodder for an existing appetite.

How many articles on cougars have there been in women's mags for instance? What about daytime on the Box? There are cougar comps where women boast of their conquests of young men. Germaine Greer saw the trend developing and was hot off the mark with her photo perve devoted to boys whose semen "runs like tap water" and "A woman of taste is a pederast boys rather than men".

So it is not simply being driven by entrepreneurs in the medical and the pharmaceutical industries, the market is there and demanding magic pills and therapies. However in some quarters it is obviously not politically correct to say that of course.
Posted by Cornflower, Thursday, 10 June 2010 1:04:15 PM
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While the notion of a magic pill to increase women's libido is certainly worthy of discussion, I don't think that this is one of Leslie Cannold's better articles. There are too many questionable assumptions.

Firstly, as I understand it viagra produces erections, rather than libido. Men I know who use it don't do so to create desire - rather, they use it so they can satisfy desire they already have, which is not quite the same thing.

<< Men want sex often and intensely >>

This seems to me to be an unfounded generalisation, if not a classic stereotype. Is this true of all men at all ages? It's certainly true of many young men, fuelled as they are by an excess of testosterone, but most of us tend to settle down as we mature. I'm in my 50s, and a couple of times a week generally satisfies my libido - and I don't require viagra yet...

<< Indeed, while men tend to find their partners more desirable over time, women often need a new partner to rekindle desire. >>

This is the first time I've heard this. Since Cannold provides absolutely no evidence to support this rather counterintuitive claim, I'll have to conclude that she's generalising from personal and vicarious anecdotal experience, rather than from rigorous research.

If I was marking this as a student essay it'd be lucky to get a bare pass, I'm afraid.
Posted by CJ Morgan, Thursday, 10 June 2010 2:19:52 PM
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Cornflower

The contraceptive pill for women, created years ago..... still waiting for male contraceptive pill.

Sexual enhancement pill (AKA Viagara) created years ago, working one for women..... but still waiting on male contraceptive pill.

Think about it.

Now, both men and women are pilloried for not fitting a narrow sexual framework; women for being 'frigid' and men for being (as you described it) 'limp dicks'.

Leslie's article is about the creation of a drug by pharmaceuticals to increase the sex drive of women. The question she is raising is whether such a drug is really necessary or just another money making racket?

Cornflower, do you think a drug to enhance or increase the sex drive of women is necessary?

If you do, please explain why.

Thank you.

And, unless you are lobotomised, you cannot have failed to notice that there is a persistent contingent of male posters who NEVER, EVER have anything complimentary or even positive to say about women in general. In fact, you rarely have anything positive to say about your own sex either - rather strange. However, I and many other female posters have often talked about our love, respect and admiration for the men in our lives and frequently acknowledge the many intelligent and reasonable male posters to OLO. We don't always have to agree, but we do manage to have a civilised discussion.
Posted by Severin, Thursday, 10 June 2010 2:21:43 PM
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The author asks the question (I doubt really wanting the answer).

'Why can't a woman's s*xuality be more like a man's?' Simply you were designed differently. Acceptance of the way you were made will lead to a lot more fulfilling life than trying to be something you are not.
Posted by runner, Thursday, 10 June 2010 4:48:49 PM
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Why can't a woman's sexuality be more
like a man's?

What on earth does that mean exactly?

Everyone is built differently, with a
combination of libido level, sexual style
and emotional capacity and it's up to
each individual to decide for themselves
what sort of sex life they want.
Everyone's physical, emotional, spiritual
and relationship needs are different, so
it follows that this will be reflected in
the way an individual expresses their
sexuality. One size does not fit all.
(pardon the cliche).

Some people like frequent sex while others
have a lower libido. Some people are happy
to "bonk" while others like to "make love."
It's just that people with higher libidos
who are happy simply to have physical sex
fit the current culturally accepted sexual
stereotype. People then think it's OK to
try to convince others into thinking
there's something wrong with them if they
don't want the same type of sex.

In this day and age - sexual behaviour
should be a choice left up to each
individual to make (so long as
it doesn't harm anybody else). As for
pills? Again - up to each individual
to decide what works for them.

Sex has a great menu to choose from...
(playful, raunchy, experimental, loving).
The list goes on.
And the choice should be up to each
individual to decide.
Posted by Foxy, Thursday, 10 June 2010 5:49:35 PM
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