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The Forum > General Discussion > Do you need to come out

Do you need to come out

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In a heartfelt video released by Australian football team Adelaide United, mid-field player, Josh Cavallo, has come out as gay, reports ABC News. His announcement makes him the first A-League player to publicly come out while still active within the league.

In the video, the 21-year-old proudly states, “I am a footballer, and I’m gay,” going on to say that, “It’s been a journey to get to this point in my life, but I couldn’t be happier with my decision to come out.”

Do you need to come out "admitting" you are gay? By all means talk about it with your family, but Is it really anyone elses business? Lots of people are different to others and I don't need to know about their circumstances or is it all about free choice here and the right to speak out about about something you feel strongly about?
Posted by NathanJ, Thursday, 28 October 2021 11:29:34 AM
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Dear Nathan,

I watched this young man speaking on television and he
seemed so relieved that he had "come out." So very happy.
He could not help smiling. He appeared so joyful, as if
something heavy had been lifted from his shoulders.
All I could do is be happy for him.

I guess it is a personal choice to be made for whatever
reason and we can't really speak for someone else and how
they feel and what they have had to endure in their lives.
I feel that it is a brave decision to make - even in
today's supposedly more "tolerant" society. Because not all
people will look at him in the same way now. But who cares?
He has to do what he feels is right for him. Not for anyone
else.

Luckily for this young lad - he has the full support of his
family, friends and colleagues. Not everyone does. And I'm sure
that helped him make his decision.
Posted by Foxy, Thursday, 28 October 2021 2:18:17 PM
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Who cares. They can come out, in, sideaways - whatever; they are not of particular interest to anyone except themselves and their family and friends. They can do as they wish. What they cannot do is expect other people to care about their peculiarities, approve of them, or gush every time one of them thinks we all want to know that they are queer.
Posted by ttbn, Thursday, 28 October 2021 2:50:00 PM
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Dear Nathan,

Certainly, your sexual inclination is quite an unimportant detail and nobody else's concern. One ought never make a big deal about it.

I heard the interview on the radio.
The idiotic interviewer exclaimed (I don't remember the exact words): "finally you are able to be and show everyone who you are".

Well, your sexual inclinations have nothing, absolutely zero, zilch, to do with who you are. They could be properties of your body, of your brain, of your hormones, perhaps even of your mind, or any combination of the above, BUT these would only be YOUR body, YOUR brain, YOUR hormones, YOUR mind, thus have nothing to do with your own identity, you, the one who HAS this body, this brain, these hormones, this mind, etc.

By propagating that untruth, as if sexual inclinations had anything to do with one's identity, the interviewer was seeding unnecessary misery in their younger listeners.

---

Dear Foxy,

If you are after relief, then why not shoot yourself in the foot, then what relief you will feel after long months of rehabilitation once you can walk again!

Fussing about one's sexual inclinations is like shooting oneself in the foot. Had Josh Cavallo not paid such significance to his inclinations, then he would not be in need of relief to begin with.

I am also happy for him, but I would be even happier if he was never disturbed by his sexual inclinations to begin with.
Posted by Yuyutsu, Thursday, 28 October 2021 3:12:54 PM
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Yuyutsu,

<<Fussing about one's sexual inclinations is like shooting oneself in the foot. Had Josh Cavallo not paid such significance to his inclinations, then he would not be in need of relief to begin with.>>

I would argue all inclinations. I'd never looked at this issue like that before, (all inclinations) but I think it's important to realise that any inclinations you have are simply part of you as a person and your wider sense as a person is more important, not one element of your life alone.

At a higher level, how many things do you need to put out in a public environment to feel better? You may wish to come out and speak on topics that you feel have a broad public interest or are important (like protecting the environment) but I would not do so because of any personal emotional issues I have, I would talk about those with someone else.
Posted by NathanJ, Thursday, 28 October 2021 3:43:55 PM
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"I watched this young man speaking on television"
Not just 'television' was it Foxy? No
- It was the A B C, wasn't it?

Taxpayers just funded his coming out party.

"He could not help smiling. He appeared so joyful, as if
something heavy had been lifted from his shoulders."

Maybe I could also get 15mins to tell how I debauched my girlfriend the other day?
- And how boys parts are made perfectly for girls parts;
- not bums which are made perfectly for doing poos?

Honestly I don't care if he's gay.
But why does his coming out party need taxpayer funded airtime?
Try Instagram or Tik Toc.
Posted by Armchair Critic, Thursday, 28 October 2021 3:49:56 PM
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Instead of "coming out" they should stay in & be quiet & all will be better for our society !
Posted by individual, Thursday, 28 October 2021 4:20:59 PM
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Dear Nathan,

«I think it's important to realise that any inclinations you have are simply part of you as a person and your wider sense as a person is more important, not one element of your life alone.»

I think that what you mean by "wider sense as a person" is one's personality, one's character, and in that case I agree that it is more important than such elements as sexual preferences.

But it goes further than that: even your person, your personality and your character, are YOUR things, just like YOUR body, YOUR brain, YOUR mind, YOUR sexual inclinations and even YOUR car, YOUR house, YOUR money, etc. While one can consider any of those important, they cannot be as important as yourself, the one who HAS all these things. Even your personality, even your character, are at the end of the day YOURS, not who you are.

«At a higher level, how many things do you need to put out in a public environment to feel better?»

To feel better is a poor-man's motive and doing things, including speaking out in public, in order to feel better, can at best provide only a temporary relief. At a higher level you would be speaking out in public because you are convinced that doing so will be for the good of others.
Posted by Yuyutsu, Thursday, 28 October 2021 4:44:48 PM
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Often gay people find their sexuality a difficult "problem" to deal with. The reason being is their homosexual lifestyle is vilified by many in society, we have such vilifiers on this forum, read one or two of the above posts and you can see the sarcastic vilification in them. Gay folk have suffered everything from mild snickering, and the snide office jokes, to extreme physical violence resulting in death, all because of their sexuality.

The polarisation of the issue during the gay marriage debate was an indication that some in society still harbour extreme prejudices against gay people, and many other minorities in society, for being "different to me".

p/s What was all the gay marriage fuss about? Look, the sky hasn't fallen in, as the rabid haters said would happen.
Posted by Paul1405, Friday, 29 October 2021 5:12:46 AM
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such vilifiers on this forum
Paul1405,
Again, you're making things up that aren't true. There is no vilifying, people are just becoming sick & tired of having this subject rammed down their throat at every turn. That's what pi$$es people off not the fact that some are queer.
You must be gay too because you like stirring crap !
Posted by individual, Friday, 29 October 2021 5:38:13 AM
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"You must be gay" point in question Indy, you use it as a negative disparaging remark so as to be a put down. That in itself is a form of vilification. AC comes on with with negative sarcasm in one paragraph, then in some feeble attempt at justification he writes; "Honestly I don't care if he's gay." Of course he cares, otherwise he wouldn't try and absolve himself of his negativity.
Posted by Paul1405, Friday, 29 October 2021 6:08:31 AM
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Paul1405,
Are you gay ? Are you still hiding in the closet ?
If you are then just come out & go about your things, no need to clog the net with ramblings of justification !
Posted by individual, Friday, 29 October 2021 7:58:05 AM
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Are you sure he was not making himself available for the rest of the Team?
Posted by Josephus, Friday, 29 October 2021 8:23:46 AM
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Actually, the poor wording of this question, "Do YOU need to come out", could be taken as suggesting that we are all bent. About 97% of us are normal, statistically, so once again we have a pointless question from Nathan who, if he really must know the answer, should be canvassing actual homosexuals. How the hell would we know what homos and lesbians feel they need to do!
Posted by ttbn, Friday, 29 October 2021 9:03:23 AM
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Josephus,

That was a bit cruel.
Posted by ttbn, Friday, 29 October 2021 9:04:32 AM
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Unfortunately the short answer to that question is "Yes".

Many young people struggle with their sexuality and 'fitting in'. I think it was Carl Jung who claimed that 60% of the population was bi-sexual but most didn't act on their feelings due to social and family pressure. This leads to feelings of loneliness and isolation. That coupled with the ridicule, snide comments and aggression directed to them (as overwhelmingly evidenced by posters to this very blog) is a massive contributor to mental health issues and even suicide.

So, if a young person in these circumstances sees a prominent figure openly confirming that they too are gay, it offers a massive amount of support to them.

Indeed, what one's sexuality is is really only a private matter, but when it is viewed and treated with such hostility as seen here, prominent, public figures must continue to out themselves.

What a pity the need to explain that in 2021 still exists.
Posted by Aries54, Friday, 29 October 2021 10:30:34 AM
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I came out a few years back.

I guess I always knew or suspected that I was left-handed. But I hide it from myself for a long time and certainly hide it from family and friends. When I was a pre-teen I usually favoured my left but everyone just put that down to youthful experimenting, just like boys playing with dolls or girls playing footy.

But on reaching puberty, society was less forgiving. So I started devising ways to hide my problem. I had long since learned to write righthanded but occasionally feigned an injury to my right to allow me to use my left. Thankfully some brave souls like Rod Laver and Alan Border paved the way to allow others to play sport lefthanded.

I found it hard to hide my problem from my wife. Even though I kept telling myself I'd just been born this way, I knew in my heart that, if I so decided, I could live in a rightie world.

But it got to the point where I just couldn't sustain it any longer. So I gathered (with my lefthand) my courage and decided to break the news. My parents took it the hardest, wondering where they'd gone wrong. My wife was relieved that my using my lefthand to pleasure her wasn't just some fetishism but hoped that the affliction wasn't hereditary.

The world remains fraught for me but I can now sign documents with my correct hand and visit the lefthand shop without the need for a disguise.

It'd be so much easier if I was just gay.
Posted by mhaze, Friday, 29 October 2021 3:18:31 PM
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Well I've been Gay most of my life. I've always tried to look on the bright side of life irrespective of how bad things were or are. I think happiness is a state of mind we all seek, and trying to be Gay, notwithstanding how bleak things are, is far superior than being in a prolonged melancholic state.

The use of the adjective 'Gay' by homosexuals does exasperate me somewhat, almost as if they've high-jacked the word for their own use. Still, I can't see any real harm in it I guess, after all many words in our vernacular these days have been used and misused by us all, in recent times?

When I first joined the coppers (1968 - after my six years in the military), I was stationed at 4 Div. in the city, and on every 2300h - 0700h shift one of our mandatory regular patrols was in the truck slowly sweeping through all of the city's parks rounding up homosexual individuals loitering in and about public toilets. Some people have asked me why not lesbians as well? Lesbianism was never a crime, only male homosexual behaviour.

Today of course homosexuality has been decriminalised. A good or bad thing? Who knows? Only history will answer that for us.One thing I will state absolutely - This loathsome practice many ethnic thugs like to engage upon in certain areas in SW Sydney; 'Gay bashing' is totally abhorrent to me! The full force of the law should be implemented upon these bully-boys and girls; Including mandatory gaol sentences.
Posted by o sung wu, Friday, 29 October 2021 3:43:05 PM
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Nah Proud Boy Jose', not like the way your religious old perverts make small children available to themselves. How many rock spiders in your local church? 10, 100, more? Do you have small children for "Father" to prey on? You wouldn't know. You are a sick piece of crap saying that about this young bloke.
Posted by Paul1405, Friday, 29 October 2021 4:14:51 PM
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Thanks for the laugh, mhaze and o sung wu. As is said 'ya gotta laugh' particularly now that what used to mean happy has been stolen to describe homosexuals and lesbians who are obviously far, far from happy; and worse, they want to whine about it to the rest of us, seemingly thinking that we give a shite about them. My wife has two middle aged male friends, whom I meet occasionally, and survive the meetings without any references to their sexual preference. Nor do we discuss what my wife and I used to do in private before we got too old for it. These blokes will always be treated amiably and normally by me, and they will never ever know that I do not understand or approve of their situation, because it is none of my business, and I would not want them to think that I thought any the less of them because of their persuasion. But, save me from these publicly performing drama queens looking for approval from virtue-signallers.
Posted by ttbn, Friday, 29 October 2021 4:50:55 PM
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Hi there TTBN...

As usual my friend you speak an enormous amount of good common sense, a commodity which seemingly is sadly lacking in this day and age. We should be concerning ourselves with more consequential and decisive issues, not ruminating over and over again about the sexual practices of some individuals. As long as they confine their activities to the privacy of their own bedroom, and it's legal, that's all that really matters.

But what I do find aggravating is when some homosexuals are publicly trying to convert others to their sexual abnormalities and personal perversions by publicly advocating and promoting their unconventional and alternative lifestyles for all of us to see and hear. Their precise sexual proclivities are private, therefore, they should remain private.
Posted by o sung wu, Friday, 29 October 2021 8:25:44 PM
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Not much chance of a population explosion caused by the 'Usual Suspects' on this forum. A condom seller would soon be out of business, sterility and senility go hand in hand.
Posted by Paul1405, Friday, 29 October 2021 8:34:16 PM
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Why is it that some people object to celebrity gays
coming out (for whatever reason) but they don't
make any comment or objection of straight celebrities
bragging about their "conquests." and sexual habits? That's
considered "normal," and no one suggests that it should
remain "private?"
Posted by Foxy, Saturday, 30 October 2021 8:31:26 AM
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Hi Foxy,

Its not that gay people have a problem with straights, but rather the other way round. and our forums collection of eunuchs have such problems, seems all was well until their plungers broke about 20 years ago.

My gay friends and family members have no problems and go about their business in very normal ways.
Posted by Paul1405, Saturday, 30 October 2021 8:54:09 AM
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Hi Paul,

Many people refer to the heterosexual experience as
the only "normal" way to live. They don't want to
know anything else. Unfortunately when that happens
it renders any experience that does not fit as
the "other." This "othering" can take the form of social
and economic exclusion. It can lead to violence, bullying,
and often state sanctioned imprisonment and even death.

It enforces gender stereotypes and it hurts not only those
who aren't heterosexual. It also harms those who are by
limiting the options available to them.

For instance, heterosexual men are expected to perform
their gender in a particular way, being strong, emotions
in check and unlikely to explore a greater range of emotions
that may be deemed too feminine lest they thought of as
"not a real man."

These attitudes become problems when they are presented as
the only way of existing. When that happens exclusion
follows. Those who don't fit into the norm are shut out of
social spaces and their issues do not receive the same
amount of attention when it comes to advocacy or lobbying.

Their rights or needs are ignored or deemed not significant
enough. This can be dangerous as well. It privileges certain
lives over others and makes it possible for society to
overlook hate crimes against gay people.
Posted by Foxy, Saturday, 30 October 2021 9:46:30 AM
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You want crazy? The UK's BBC can give you crazy. Among idiotic mandates for staff - race, colour etc., there is a call for 50% of their "gay" employees to be 'out'. No reason given why only half the the BBCs queers have to out themselves.
Posted by ttbn, Saturday, 30 October 2021 10:08:03 AM
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The satirical point I was making above is that coming out is no longer a big deal. Same-sex attraction is now normalised. Gay marriage is utterly accepted within the society. Same-sex parents. Same-sex couples are almost obligatory on any movie or TV series which has even a few couples. Kids books go out of their way to highlight two-Dad/two-Mum families.

So someone coming out is now a big yawn. So what? Its no longer abnormal. Its no longer unusual. You're gay? Fine. Get on with your life and we'll get on with our lives.

But that's not how its treated by the anxiously woke. Its not good enough to yawn and move on. We are required to gush and swoon at the imagined bravery of the bloke now out of the closet. We can't just ignore the 5014th announcement. We have to swoon and if we don't we are treated as homophobes.

If they want to come out, fine. I don't care. But there's nothing special about it. Why can't I just ignore it in the same way as I'd ignore some women announcing her first sexual experience.

But its all performance art with these people. Oh look at me...aren't I soooooo brave. Applaud me and if you don't then you're a transphobe.

And then we get the woke like Paul etc who fall for this gumph, furious that others haven't.

It's the opposite of gay
Posted by mhaze, Saturday, 30 October 2021 3:05:09 PM
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Foxy,
The heterosexual way is the only normal way, any other in not of the norm.
Posted by Is Mise, Saturday, 30 October 2021 3:12:26 PM
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Wow how long has he been in that he has just decided to cum out? Maybe he has some sort of record that is being announced in the media?
Posted by Josephus, Saturday, 30 October 2021 3:19:00 PM
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"Its no longer abnormal".

Oh yes it is. Changing the marriage act didn't change the absurdity and unnaturalness of sexual activity between members of the same sex. Homosexuality will always be abnormal. We just have to accept that that homosexual marriage is now legal for those who want it. Nothing else has changed.
Posted by ttbn, Saturday, 30 October 2021 4:01:41 PM
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Is Mise,

Mother nature does not agree with you.

Josephus,

Sometimes it takes a while to come out for whatever
reason. But this young man might not want anyone else
to go through what he had to and has decided to come out
for that reason.

mhaze,

Nobody is asking you to accept anything. The facts are
merely being presented from a different view point to the
"norm." We've all been discriminated against in one form
or another as to what was seen as "acceptable" at the time.
Be it single mothers, migrants, Indigenous people, and now
gays. I just find it sad that some of us are looking for
reasons as to why the young man should not have done it. If
it is so "yawn" why is that do you think?
Posted by Foxy, Saturday, 30 October 2021 4:03:58 PM
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cont'd ...

We are all individuals with our own viewpoints and
opinions depending on the way we were raised.
There are bad people and there are good people on
all sides. I remember a young over weight little
boy who lived across the street from us and whose
father expected a certain type of behaviour from
his son. He'd lock the son in a shed over night to
"teach him a lesson." We could hear the boy's screams
well into the night. The kid ended up leaving home
when he got older and as far as I know he never came
back. That father's behaviour was anything but what
I would consider "normal."

That goes for heterosexual relationships where the husband
(or partner) abuses his wife and children instead of
protecting them in a loving and caring relationship.

Of course there are also gay people who are "over the top."
I don't find it in good taste to have gay men dress up as
"nuns" and make fun of religion in Sydney's Gay Parade.
If they don't want to be made fun of they should not make
fun of others.

We should treat each other with kindness and respect. The world
would be a better place.
Posted by Foxy, Saturday, 30 October 2021 4:47:43 PM
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Foxy,

I'm not saying he shouldn't have done it. I'm just saying that if I fail to gush and swoon over his supposed bravery, that doesn't saying anything about my supposed homophobia.

The trouble with the woke-ists is that they don't permit anyone to be neutral. "You're either with us or a Guinness".

Well if you think telling the world you prefer anuses to vaginas is a big deal that's fine. But, these days, its no more consequential than me telling the world I prefer to do it leftward.
Posted by mhaze, Saturday, 30 October 2021 4:58:42 PM
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mhaze,

That's not what I am saying. A person's sexual preferences
whatever they may be - should not be condemned or questioned
if they choose to "come out." Many people refer to the
heterosexual experience as the only "normal" way to be or
live. They don't want to know anything else.

When that happens it renders any experience that does not fit
that mould as "other." This "othering can take the form
of social and economic exclusion. Violence, bullying, and often
state sanctioned imprisonment and even death.

It enforces the gender binary and its accompanying gender
stereotypes.

Anyway, I've had my say on the subject. I mean no disrespect
to anyone. We all have our views - whatever they may be.
And we don't necessarily have to agree.
Posted by Foxy, Saturday, 30 October 2021 5:09:52 PM
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Foxy,
Normal is that which is the usual way of doing things, if the majority of human kind become homosexual then homosexuality will be what is normal for humankind.
Suggest that you look up the meaning of normal.

Most human beings are not hunters therefore were I to say that hunting is normal then I’d be in error.
Posted by Is Mise, Saturday, 30 October 2021 6:26:09 PM
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Honestly, I don't think people should have to say anything about themselves. Their natural aura will speak for itself. I do think a message is being put into some people's minds they need to say something or...?

For those who know themselves and not affected by any negative, emotional set of issues will simply be themselves and feel no need to tell anybody anything about themselves and certainly not anything overly personal, like what has occurred in this case.

Then there is the issue of words. I don't believe words can truly describe who you are as a person, or do you any credit. They have limits and meanings and by coming out and telling other people things about yourself, you can be providing people with words with limited value and that are dry, when there is so much more to yourself. One must also consider the media and they will only print or put out so many words to fit into their publication, radio or television program.

I do feel though some people feel the need to come out because of those with bigoted viewpoints, but the point should be made clear giving those with close minded views another platform for further villification will do nothing to end such behaviour - some of which is noticable on this page.
Posted by NathanJ, Saturday, 30 October 2021 7:06:14 PM
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Foxy,
Here’s another example, a woman who has not had a child or has ever been pregnant can often breast feed her partners child; becoming more frequent but not normal.
Posted by Is Mise, Saturday, 30 October 2021 7:06:49 PM
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To ttbn, AC, Indy, Issy, mhaze, sungy wu and Jose'

I think all the Forum eunuchs should come out! How about it fellas?
Posted by Paul1405, Saturday, 30 October 2021 8:20:38 PM
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Paul,
I’d like to help you but I won’t lie.
Posted by Is Mise, Saturday, 30 October 2021 9:04:59 PM
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I am about as interested in someones bowel movements as I am in their sexuality, not at all.
Posted by Hasbeen, Saturday, 30 October 2021 9:37:03 PM
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Dear Nathan,

Thank you for your perfect words of wisdom:

«For those who know themselves and not affected by any negative, emotional set of issues will simply be themselves and feel no need to tell anybody anything about themselves and certainly not anything overly personal, like what has occurred in this case.»

Such exalted souls are rare.
Posted by Yuyutsu, Saturday, 30 October 2021 9:45:54 PM
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Issy, I wasn't saying you or anyone in particular. In your case, I know, cold nights, warm woolly sheep, I understand. Me thinks Hassy made a statement. Good on ya Hassy, I fully understand your lack of interest in such things!
Posted by Paul1405, Sunday, 31 October 2021 5:59:53 AM
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Paul seems very convinced that anyone who doesn't swoon with enthusiasm over the latest 'gay' announcement is a eunuch.

A fair bit of projection there, methinks.
Posted by mhaze, Sunday, 31 October 2021 6:38:03 AM
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mhaze, I was responding to the title of the topic; "Do you need to come out". Do you need to come out?
Posted by Paul1405, Sunday, 31 October 2021 7:41:37 AM
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It is a known fact that an overbearing mother during pottty training contributes to boys being obsessed in the anus functions.
Posted by Josephus, Sunday, 31 October 2021 8:10:43 AM
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Jose'

Was that the topic of Fathers sermon this morning? Potty training for parishioners, sounds good. Do you need to come out?

You didn't answer my question; How many rock spiders in your church?
Posted by Paul1405, Sunday, 31 October 2021 9:13:56 AM
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Coming out is just the latest fad and attention getter. Just another example of me-tooism, sure of getting oohs and aahs from pathetic people who are just as repulsed by sexual perversion as anyone else, but who want to be part of the mob. It's all down to "progressive" cultism. Some people want the latest car, the biggest house and so on. "Progressives" want to be in with the latest fad, be it multiculturalism, calling everyone a racist, self-hatred, scary climate stories and in this case , poofter-pandering.
Posted by ttbn, Sunday, 31 October 2021 9:49:28 AM
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One more observation:

All the fuss seems to surround male homosexuals; less fuss, if any, is made of lesbians. I suppose we have fewer lesbians advertising themselves; but the enthusiasm for poofs could very well be part of ongoing criticism of men, by lower calibre males themselves, and fervent feminists and man-haters, demanding that men should stop acting like men.
Posted by ttbn, Sunday, 31 October 2021 10:01:43 AM
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Paul,

It's just that you seem to be obsessed with eunuchs.

I think we all can guess why.
Posted by mhaze, Sunday, 31 October 2021 10:29:54 AM
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Is mise,

<<Suggest that you look up the meaning of normal.>>

O.K.

1a: conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern : characterized by that which is considered usual, typical, or routine.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/normal

So what one considers normal (say yourself), does not apply to others.

<<Most human beings are not hunters therefore were I to say that hunting is normal then I’d be in error.>>

In terms of normal, the majority do not use guns either or weapons, so the use of guns and weapons could be described as not normal in that context. Furthermore there is no usual way of doing things, some people are simply different than others in how they work and operate.

Some of these "not normal" people are potentially operating better (in terms of bodily functions and living) daily as a result, where as a simplistic "majority" are tired, flat and feel as if they are failing dismally.
Posted by NathanJ, Sunday, 31 October 2021 10:34:58 AM
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Nathan,
As heterosexuality is normal then it’s opposite must be the opposite of normal.

Put another way, people who insist on entering a building through the exit would not be considered normal, same goes for others who prefer to enter via the exit.
Posted by Is Mise, Sunday, 31 October 2021 11:31:53 AM
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Is Mise,

When did you choose to be straight?

Gay people were born gay just like straight people
were born straight.

All our sexualities are "just there."

We don't need an explanation for homosexuality just as we
don't need one for heterosexuality.

Did you know that heterosexuality was not considered "normal"
in past history?

There's much more at the following link that explains a few
things we may not have known. Worth a read:

http://bbc.com/future/article/20170315-the-invention-of-heterosexuality
Posted by Foxy, Sunday, 31 October 2021 1:02:38 PM
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cont'd ...

Lets get back to the reality all of us actually live in.
It used to be that heterosexuality was necessary for
procreation - and this was seen as the reason
for marriage and stability for the parties concerned and
for society. Yet times have changed: -

Technologies like pre-implantation genetic diagnosis (PGD)
and in-vitro fertilisation (IVF) are only improving. In fact
millions of children have been born through assisted
technologies. Socially too heterosexuality is losing its
"high ground." Today we see a world riddled with heterosexual
affairs of politicians and celebrities complete with pictures,
text messages, and more than a few video tapes.

Popular culture is full with images of dysfunctional straight
relationships and marriages. Divorce is commonplace. And we
can no longer claim that relationship instability is something
exclusive to homosexuality.

The line between heterosexuality and homesexuality isn't
just blurry, it's an invention, a myth, and an outdated one.
Men and women will continue to have difference genital sex with
each other until the human species is no more.
But heterosexuality as a social marker, as a way of life, as an
identity, may well die out long before then.
Posted by Foxy, Sunday, 31 October 2021 1:37:58 PM
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Foxy,
What I’m talking about is what is normal, surely you’ll agree that a woman being pregnant is a normal requisite for coming breast feeding and that breast feeding without ever having been pregnant ,indeed without ever having sexual intercourse, is not normal?
I couldn’t care less what a person’s sexual preferences are, in much earlier posts I told of how in the Infantry we covered for homosexual soldiers but never put two of them together in the one foxhole nor ever put them on sentry together.
It was a crime back then punishable by dishonourable discharge and the difficulties that that entailed in civvy life.
Posted by Is Mise, Sunday, 31 October 2021 1:47:50 PM
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The gay guys I know have been raised by a single strong personality mum, or a dominant mother with a weak compliant father.
Posted by Josephus, Sunday, 31 October 2021 2:11:19 PM
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Is Mise,

Not all women produce enough milk to breast-feed.
Other women don't want to breast-feed for whatever
reason. You can't generalize as to what is "normal."
Especially when exceptions do occur. In the United
States formula-feeding of babies was considered as
"normal." It varies with each individual. And people
do have choices. Your definition of what's "normal,"
doesn't mean that is the case for everyone. You can
and should only speak for yourself.

The same as sexual positions. Not everyone plays by
the same rules.
Posted by Foxy, Sunday, 31 October 2021 3:14:24 PM
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Josephus,

I've also know straight guys who had domineering
mothers. They ended up with domineering wives.
And of course they became compliant husbands.
Go figure.
Posted by Foxy, Sunday, 31 October 2021 3:19:00 PM
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cont'd ...

Josephus,

On the other side of the coin - the gay guys I know
came from deeply religious families.
How about that.
Posted by Foxy, Sunday, 31 October 2021 3:22:13 PM
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Foxy
I was talking about women who have never been pregnant let alone given birth being able to breast feed , and that ain’t the norm.
Posted by Is Mise, Sunday, 31 October 2021 3:40:45 PM
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Is mise,

You asked for a dictionary definition and I provided you with one, yet you're simply ignoring it. Why?

If someone chooses to go through an exit and that's how things work best for them, well that's how things work best for them, end of story.

I consider my life what I consider it and I am not interested in the personal lives of others and how they live it. Finally, I won't tell you anything about my personal life here just to prove a point or to release an emotion.
Posted by NathanJ, Sunday, 31 October 2021 5:06:56 PM
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Is Mise,

I don't understand what you're saying.
Posted by Foxy, Sunday, 31 October 2021 5:30:18 PM
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Nathan,
Normal isn’t what works best for one but is that which is the norm and the norm for humans is to use the entrance to enter not the exit.

Foxy,
Can’t make it any plainer, it’s the norm for women to at least get pregnant before they breast feed, it’s not normal for women who have never been pregnant to do so, but they do, and it’s not normal.
Deviant behaviour is not the norm when it’s a minority doing it and entering anywhere through the exit is deviant.
Posted by Is Mise, Sunday, 31 October 2021 9:14:11 PM
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Hi Issy,

I understand how thing were normal in your regiment, in "this mans army" in the good old days, where men were men and boys had to watch their bazookas. There, in your lonely foxhole with only Private Pansy for company, yep, things were pretty normal. BTW; how many times a week did you have to breast feed the regimental eunuchs? Just asking.
Posted by Paul1405, Monday, 1 November 2021 4:44:44 AM
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Is it normal for women who have never been pregnant to breast feed their partner’s child?
Dose anyone consider it a normal practice?

Paul,
You could, at least, acknowledge that we protected homo soldiers and at risk to ourselves for knowingly concealing criminal behaviour.
If they did their part in the general scheme of things no one gave a damn about their sexual proclivities, but, as I said, we never risked putting them together where there was a security risk.
Posted by Is Mise, Monday, 1 November 2021 7:53:19 AM
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Is Mise,

You are not making any sense to me.

Look up "galactorrhea." It is a medical condition that
can be caused by a variety of reasons. And it can be
cured by a medical practitioner. I don't see what it has
to do with anyone's sexuality which is the topic being
discussed here.
Posted by Foxy, Monday, 1 November 2021 8:52:36 AM
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Foxy,
It’s a quite simple question, but you, as usual, cannot answer a simple question; the medical condition that you mention has absolutely no bearing on women who have never been pregnant being able to breast feed.

Now, would you consider it normal for a virgin female human being being able to produce milk from her mammary glands for the sustenance of a human baby?

I can’t put it any clearer than that but don’t hesitate to ask if you cannot understand the question.
Posted by Is Mise, Monday, 1 November 2021 9:03:30 AM
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Is Mise,

Sorry I really cannot understand what this has to do with
the topic under discussion or what you're trying to say.
There are all sorts of abnormalities in this world - I
don't get the point that you are trying to make regarding
this discussion about homosexuality.

Enjoy your day.
Posted by Foxy, Monday, 1 November 2021 10:04:40 AM
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Tell someone who cares. Any publicity is good publicity. good luck to him anyway.
Posted by gj123, Monday, 1 November 2021 10:54:05 AM
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Foxy,
Expected outcome, you haven’t disappointed me.
Posted by Is Mise, Monday, 1 November 2021 10:59:59 AM
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Is Mise,

Whoaaa -

You can't expect everyone to have the same
nit-picking (fault-finding) dedication as you.
Posted by Foxy, Monday, 1 November 2021 1:25:05 PM
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Foxy,
But I do expect people to answe a simple question, after all, it’s a discussion forum.
Posted by Is Mise, Monday, 1 November 2021 1:31:35 PM
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Is Mise,

Try your strategy on someone else.
Posted by Foxy, Monday, 1 November 2021 1:47:06 PM
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Heading back to an earlier comment,

"Most human beings are not hunters therefore were I to say that hunting is normal then I’d be in error."

So say perhaps there were a whole subset of hunters out there, who decided to let people know that previously they secretly hunted and now they want to no longer be secretive. And another component that decided one day they realised that hunting was for them, and they were not going to be secretive about it from the outset.
By definition due to the higher numbers of non secretive hunters the act of normalisation would accelerate.
I suspect the urge to "come out" is not neccessarily to be vicarious and attention seeking, moreso to add to the normalisation paradigm I mentioned earlier?
Posted by ViolentEntropy, Monday, 1 November 2021 1:59:12 PM
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Is Mise,

<<But I do expect people to answer a simple question, after all, it’s a discussion forum.>>

O.K, that's not unreasonable, but then when I put a dictionary definition regarding a previous point about what normal means you choose to ignore it and continue with your own slant on what is normal, despite what a dictionary says. Just so you remember:

1a: conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern : characterized by that which is considered usual, typical, or routine.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/normal

Don't forget the definition includes "what is considered usual, typical or routine", so what one does is normal for them, not the case though for someone else - and in real terms I don't need to be told or know.

So will you accept what a dictionary considers normal or not? The ball is now in your court.
Posted by NathanJ, Monday, 1 November 2021 2:12:51 PM
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Nathan,
I apologise, I didn’t think that you were serious as you left out so much of what MW had to say.
However homosexuality is not normal, expected or routine for human kind.
Foxy said that what is natural is normal but when she was confronted with the example of women who had never been pregnant breast feeding , something that is perfectly natural.but far from normal she did her usual slither and slide to evade admitting that she was in error..
Do you think that such feeding is normal?
Posted by Is Mise, Monday, 1 November 2021 3:28:46 PM
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Is Mise,

I don't understand where you are coming from. I provided a dictionary definition of normal and you choose to ignore it.

One person's normal is different to another, weather it be entering or exiting a building through to breastfeeding or not breastfeeding.

I don't really want to discuss this matter with you any further and I think that ends the discussion.
Posted by NathanJ, Monday, 1 November 2021 9:49:33 PM
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The Democratic educational system in America is trying to educate anal sex as normal, whereas Parkistan would consider it as abnormal and impose death as the penalty upon the act as being socially abhorrent. So to consider what is normal depends upon a predetermined acceptable social norm.
Posted by Josephus, Tuesday, 2 November 2021 8:44:19 AM
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Nathan,
Are you doing a ‘Foxy’ and being deliberately obtuse?
I answered your question and apologised for not answering it sooner.
Normal is that which is the norm and the norm for humankind is heterosexuality.
The homosexuals that I know, and that includes one that I soldiered with (we still keep in touch, he’s a keen shooter) all glory in being different, in not being.normal, in fact they use the word ‘queer’ and ‘queer’ is given as a near antonym of ‘normal’ in MW..
Posted by Is Mise, Tuesday, 2 November 2021 8:55:33 AM
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Is Mise,

I could put are you doing an 'Is Mise' and being deliberately obtuse?

But I wont.

I don't feel a need to come out, but here for example I am vegetarian and for myself it is normal as per the dictionary definition I have provided to you before.

Live and let live. Be willing to accept others as who they are, end of story. If they do come out (regarding any matter) try not to judge based on elements in general which are irrelevent, all of them in fact I would argue.
Posted by NathanJ, Tuesday, 2 November 2021 7:18:43 PM
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Nathan,
Then we shall agree to disagree,.
Heterosexuality is not the normal thing in a homosexual community so the opposite must be true.
Suggest that you read the MW definition in full and take into consideration all that they have to say.
Posted by Is Mise, Wednesday, 3 November 2021 8:02:02 AM
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Is Mise,

As I have pointed out before, words are limiting, dry and they don't truly describe a person in terms of who they are. Words also can't truly describe you either as there are only so many words available to use.

I mean what happens when you run out of words....?

That is one reason, one shouldn't feel a need to come out and tell me a whole range of things about themselves, I don't need to know. The person will likely be sterotyped, told they are 'not normal' and have things put to themselves from people like yourself and I would even argue myself as a result, some constructive, some plainly rude, insulting, limiting (due to limited words) and degrading.
Posted by NathanJ, Wednesday, 3 November 2021 9:45:54 AM
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Nathan,
There are over a million words in English, I’m sure there are enough to describe me.
Did you read the full entry in MW?
Posted by Is Mise, Wednesday, 3 November 2021 10:05:25 AM
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Ah! Issy,

Do you recall that night back in 52, when you and Private Pansy were alone in the foxhole together and you asked; "Pansy, are we both NORMAL" AND Pansy replied; "Of course Issy we're normal....I'll tell you more when we're finished breast feeding,"...."Yep, we're sure a couple of normal chaps Pansy, no doubt about that".

Issy, remember you told me way back when, that in your school days kiddy fiddling priests and brothers were "NORMAL". Still hold with that claim?
Posted by Paul1405, Wednesday, 3 November 2021 10:10:15 AM
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Dear Nathan,

Just to let you know that I am quitting this useless discussion: in case you wish to reply I will surely meet you on some other thread.
Posted by Yuyutsu, Wednesday, 3 November 2021 11:27:05 AM
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Yuyutsu,

I am also dropping out of this thread. It's turned into a discussion I no longer want to take part in. I would encourage Is Mise very nicely not to reply to any more of my comments.
Posted by NathanJ, Wednesday, 3 November 2021 12:18:59 PM
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Paul,
Reference?

Nathan,
You must have read the full MW entry.
If you don’t wish to hear my wisdom then don’t post anything to which I might feel tempted to reply.
Posted by Is Mise, Wednesday, 3 November 2021 12:47:18 PM
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Is Mise,

I was referring to the topic being discussed here at present. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
Posted by NathanJ, Wednesday, 3 November 2021 7:33:36 PM
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All OK Nathan.
Posted by Is Mise, Wednesday, 3 November 2021 7:48:34 PM
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No problem with a reference for you Issy,

I'm none too happy to write you one for your application for a shovelling job at the sewerage works;

Ah Manager Clown,

I want to say good old Issy can shovel sh!t with the best of em!

So says Paul.

How's that for a reference, feel free if I can be of more assistance.

BTW, what happened to that snot cleaning job you had? Did it get up your nose?
Posted by Paul1405, Thursday, 4 November 2021 5:42:29 AM
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Poor Paul, dementia praecox, how sad.
Posted by Is Mise, Thursday, 4 November 2021 7:28:42 AM
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