"It is their job to become dysfunctional if you fail them though."

Kids learn 2 social behaviors growing up.
1. Respect your parents - Do as your told, even if you don't like it.
2. Tit for Tat - This is the social behavior you learn with your peers.
If you touch me, I'll touch you.
If you hit me, I'll hit you; reciprocate.

Parents will even reinforce the Tit for Tat behaviour.
If a kid is bullied they will tell them they have to learn to stick up for themselves more, not be walked over etc.
So what happens when parents treat kids unfairly, or more specifically what happens when kids percieve that they aren't being listened to or treated fairly?
The respect your parents deal, is not unconditional, its a contract.
If you aren't on the same page as them, and treat them unfairly, you break the contract.
They will move to 'Tit for Tat' with their parents, because they've been taught to stick up for themselves when treated unfairly.

"Why don't you listen to me!?"
"Well you don't listen to me"

If you fail to get back on the same page with them, and the unfairness they perceptive continues and is unresolved, they are going to continue to act out and become dysfunctional.

Its a parents job to ensure their kids physical and emotional wellbeing.
That means you are NOT supposed to create situations for them that malign it.
And if you do, you gotta own it.
Otherwise how can you be on the same page as them?
How can you ensure their emotional wellbeing if you're not on the same page as them?

The unresolved issues - the feelings surrounding the issue
- pent up anger and resentment, trapped in a situation beyond their control
Those feelings will manifest in other ways;
- Hurt people, hurt people.

- And that's why I'm telling you, these hurt kids might be victims themselves;
But they're gonna keep hurting others, until something really bad happens.