I have always wondered, but not as much as John Howard has!

This is an issue where degree's seem to be significant. When does nagging cross over from a being a legitimate request for a partner to meet their obligations within the relationship and become controlling behaviour?

From the Australia says no website http://www.australiasaysno.gov.au/booklet/viewBooklet/02_noRespect.htm

"While every person's experience of an abusive relationship will be different, there are some common patterns of controlling behaviour and abuse, which are often evident before the relationship becomes physically violent:

Possessiveness
- checking on their partner all the time to see where they are, what they're doing and who they're with
- trying to restrict where they can go and who they can see
Jealousy
- accusing their partner of being unfaithful or flirting without good reason
- isolating their partner from family and friends, often by rude and objectionable behaviour
Put downs
- humiliating their partner, either publicly or privately by attacking their intelligence, their looks or capabilities
- constantly comparing their partner unfavourably with others
- blaming the partner for all the problems in the relationship
Menace & Threats
- yelling, sulking and deliberately damaging things that are of importance to their partner
- threatening to use violence against their partner, the partner's family, friends or even a pet "

For those who think nagging is justified because the other party does not act or respond as you think they should - you may be the abuser in your relationship.

R0bert

its hard to be honest in a modern world_thats not too different from the ancient_
i think for myself the nagging starts when i care no longer if the other cant handle the truth_like ive lost that extra care and effort in working that extra bit to smooth all the problems
probly im not getting what i need out of the relationship
and have worked out its not worth working on
we are still encouraged to hide our thoughts and feelings, dampen our spontaneity, in case it is improper_so it all dulls down. it kinda seems as if we will all uncover some great truth or unravel some mystery if we are too honest
im talking reasonable humane responses to each others needs and wants here, with love and or care

Hi RObert,
I have one word for the types of people you refer to...NUTS!

Controlling in a relationship never works but should a woman wish to remain in such a relationship and where abuse both mentally and physically is top of the agenda, then she must suffer baby, suffer.

it dosent happen overnight_the abuse and violence
generally its a conglomeration of steps stages containing all that RObert posted
by the time you want to get out the victim is pretty stuffed up
kind of almost crazed
its like _well _similar to a tortured war victim_its like a long road to recovery
i know
not being nasty
but as you think its all that easy and clever to post such smart remarks about abuse victims (them being male, female, young, old etc, etc ) i can see you know nothing about the situation
and might have to experience being the victim at some stage to correct your smart ass attitude
you sound like you could easily fit into the 'abuser' mould
we all know that abuse has no boundaries or limitations like class or religion etc etc
neither does being a smart ass

Being nagged is the absolute pits! Been under that sort suppression. Never again.

No nagging for me. Single now for 18 years….and lovin’ it!

"if you can get along without the cooking, cleaning and sex, i urge you to live alone,"

No no Yabby. You do your own cooking and cleaning, to the extent that you want to, not that someone else wants you to.

As for sex, who needs it?! And if you do, well you don’t need a relationship to get it (:>0 !!

Relationships have got knobs all over ‘em. Hermitage (as in being a hermit) and antisocial behaviour (as in not being sociable) is definitely the way to live (:>)