The word dementia tends to strike fear into the hearts and minds of most elderly people, so what does one do about it, when first advised of the possibility of it's presence? A lot of self-analysis, together with many 'google' inquiries into the condition or 'illness'. With many choosing to discuss it with family members and close friends? In a few isolated cases, some will never choose to confide the existence of their ailment with others?

A condition that some folk endure in silence, secrecy even shame, with so many unanswered questions, and this constant desire to repetitively self-evaluate one's declining memory and faculties? With many symptoms merely imaginary, while others represent empirical evidence of the gradually advancing (egregious) dementia!

Hi O Sung Wu. The very first thing I would do about a possible dementia diagnosis is to take the tests to ensure my memory problems were definitely not caused by other possible disorders.

I would ask to be referred to one of the 'Memory disorder' clinics in capital cities, in order to get an exact diagnosis and treatment. Then I would agree to go on the current medication available that can at least slow down the onset of symptoms.

I would also put my hand up for any trials for new treatments, because I know they are getting so close to finding causes and cures, and I would want to be part of that. I would join the Altzeimers Association for both education and support.

With all of those thoughts though, I would also try to be practical and make out any wills, enduring power of attorney, or Advanced Care Directive documents that I needed to sign before I was medically not allowed to sign legal documents.

Find a support group.

Get out and about. Do things.

o sung wu,

Suse and otb have given good advice.

I would also suggest that daily you give the brain a bit of a workout. Whether it be crosswords or puzzles, that kind of thing - or anything that challenges the little grey cells. All this helps to keep the neurons firing and the connections agile.

Even the conundrums thrown up at places like OLO are helpful in that respect.

I have to say that you never seem vague or lacking in sharp analysis to me when we chat on this forum.

Dear O Sung Wu,

As you know, my mother has now been moved to a dementia
wing of an excellent nursing home. She's now been there
for approximately 6 weeks and much to our delight is
adjusting extremely well. They have a full daily
program there - from art therapy, music therapy, all sorts
of mind games, (from bingo, card games, crossword puzzles,
to travel documentaries). She gets her hair done weekly
at the hair-dressing salon, they have pampering afternoons,
where she gets her nails done, she's taken for walks,
excursions, and the staff ratio per resident is very high.
She's the centre of attention - which she loves. We visit her
daily - and she's also been introduced to people who speak
Russian, Polish, and German. Languages that she can speak
as well.

Suddenly, she's come out of her depression, and her
personality change has been amazing. She no longer just
sits and stares. She even makes jokes.

You've been given some excellent advice here from Suse,
Otb, and Poirot. From what I can see with mum - being kept
busy and active is important, as is being made to feel
wanted and not neglected. Your attitude also plays an
important role.

Mum is settling in nicely - and for that we are grateful.

Bit of an update...

My mum passed away last Friday.

Her funeral is tomorrow.

The thing is that she was totally with it until the end (even with the strong medication that made her sleep almost all the time in her last couple of days) which was heartening. We could still have simple conversations with her even then.

A couple of old time friends of hers developed dementia and have been in nursing homes for quite a while....they are still going. I always thought they would pass on first.

People have been very kind though, which has made this journey one of mixed blessings.