I should hasten to add hearty concurrence with onthebeach's concern over householders being treated as criminals for successfully defending themselves against violent or potentially violent intruders. Punitive laws directed to protecting criminals need drastic change. It's small wonder that home invasion is virtually an Australian national sport.

Hi Poirot,

'It's "relevant" to this thread which was started under the premise that women are almost as violent and prone to abusing their partners as are men. Statistics of males presenting as victims are often skewed, ie most attributed to a female partner as being the aggressor'

I think it's the inevitable result of the expanded definitions of DV, and even of the definition of 'violence', that eventually you can then accuse women of engaging in the same behaviour in relationships.

Actually if you look at the definition of DV, I am surprised there is any couple that hasn't perpetuated DV on each other practically every week.

Victim industries always play with the definitions, to exaggerate their figures, to get more funding. Everything is an 'epidemic' these days.

Originally you had domestic violence, which was bashing your wife. Say x% of women were bashed. Then all sorts of 'controlling' behaviours were brought into the definition of DV (to expand the figures to more scary '1 in 3'), many of which women engage in as much if not more so than men.

So it's a bit hypocritical for these organisations to cry foul men use these expanded definitions, or have actually been convinced they're now victims.

Of course once men do this, then the topic is quickly switched back to pure wife bashing, still using the figures from the expanded definitions of course.

Houellie,

While I take your point on definitions...the bit you couldn't connect earlier wasn't about that.

It concerned the point that although 25% of victims presenting were male, that more than half of those were the victims of a male aggressor. And I considered that a pertinent point on a thread thread that sought to represent women as almost equal perpetrators of domestic violence.

It's so very easy to utter the term "victim industries" isn't it....I did see a few women victims last week on Hitting Home. There they sat being photographed, brazenly displaying their fat lips and black eyes, golf ball-sized forehead lumps and bruised throats.

You'd think they'd know better than to buy into the "industry".

Talking of definitions, I read yesterday that in Queensland they've only now made "attempted choking" a criminal offence - and this is one of the more common methods of intimidation...it beggars belief that it wasn't on the books before.

Hi Poirot,

Oh I 'connected', so I outlined the environment that allows the notion to be anything but fanciful.

I wonder if it is a crime yet to slap a guy in the face.

I wonder if it's domestic violence to force a guy to sleep on the couch, damage his property, belittle him in front of friends, discourage him to keep in contact with friends, control the family finances, goad him to hit you and threaten to leave with the kids. Apparently these kind of things are only DV if there is some mystical 'Patriarchy' involved.

I will wholeheartedly concede the vast majority of people in genuine risk of actual violence are women. But the horse has bolted now, the definitions are expanded. You must accept that under the new definitions, a lot of men are victims

I am sure there are a lot of psychopath guys controlling fearful women, I get that, but the amount of guys being controlled, and the amount of basically fooked up relationships where the guy just happens to be the stronger one and has anger management issues, or even where the woman just knows the guy is too nice or principled to retaliate and totally controls the whole environment are legion. I think we've all seen some dreadful behaviour from both sexes, but this is only deemed part of the DV narrative when it's the man doing it.

I have been in relationships where my girlfriend used to swing knives at me when drunk, threaten to self harm if I left the situation and goaded me to hit her to prove I wasn't a wuss. It's a pretty tricky situation to navigate when you know damn well you're the industry's designated abuser, the all powerful Patriarch, who is under high suspicion regardless of the facts.

I've even seen relationships where the couple use fights as foreplay.

But the orthodoxy, the controlling of the conversation by the industry, doesn't allow any responsibility placed on women in relationships for fear of excusing the more extreme violence of men.

'There they sat being photographed, brazenly displaying their fat lips and black eyes, golf ball-sized forehead lumps and bruised throats.

Exactly. Actual violence. The stuff the industry switches to talking about when people say there are equal stats between the genders for yelling and belittling and threats and generally aggressive manipulative behaviour. The stuff used to bolster the figures, I reckon is much more evenly spread in relationships.

Exactly my point ie. Now men are more aware of the expanded definitions of DV, they realise they have also been a victim, but once men do claim this, then the topic is quickly switched back to pure wife bashing, though still using the figures from the expanded definitions of course.'

To be fair on the 'attempted choking', that can be part of a healthy sex life. When trust is involved.

"To be fair on the 'attempted choking', that can be part of a healthy sex life. When trust is involved."

Taurum stercore or, more commonly, "Excritia bovinus".