I have thought long and hard as to why sport exists. Why an individual would put so much time and effort into attaining an unnatural level of human performance. Granted for a few there is fame and fortune but this is a very small minority. Some sports shorten life span as well as cause injury and even death. It an expensive undertaking and has a negative effect on productivity resulting in additional Aussie debt. Don’t tell Joe.

What is the thing that drives this addiction? I reckon I have figured out the cause, it is cuddle deficiency.

Think about it, whenever there is a win, a goal or a record is broken there is lots of cuddles. Not only do the participants have a good cuddle but so do the hanger on’ers and spectators. If you or your team win a competition or a grand final you are able to cuddle for an extended period after the event without raising eyebrows.

Why is it the fault of women and homophobes? Again think about it, although it is not so bad today, it would look a bit poofy for a couple of blokes and sheilas to a lesser degree to have a good cuddle outside the umbrella of sport. If women where less opposed to cuddling blokes that are less good looking and lacked personality they would not have to play sport to get a good cuddle.

Some parents who are aware of this issue even name their children to increase cuddle-ability. Why else would a parent call their son Cadel Evens?

I have an entirely different take on it producer, & may I suggest you don't try cuddling me, even if our team wins something.

I reckon one reason is a need to excel to impress your mates & even perhaps women. Before now you could be the strongest cutting hay, loading produce, gathering rocks for your stone house or fence, or chopping down trees. There were lots of things critical for successful life, where you could be the best, & impress the dolly bird.

It is a bit hard to impress anyone by being the best supermarket shopper.

A second reason is we have it so easy it doesn't take much of our time to earn a living. Hell the government will even give you a living if you can't be bothered yourself. This means lots of boring hours to fill, & one can only watch so much TV or movies.

But I think the main reason is adrenalin. Once upon a time we all got plenty of adrenalin just surviving. Catching a mammoth for our barbeque was pretty exciting, as was running away from that lion that wanted us for his picnic. We got all the adrenalin we could handle for free.

Now the most exciting thing most do all week is perhaps run for the bus one morning. That might be the most exciting thing that happens in a month of Sundays for many. To provide some adrenalin producing excitement we invented sport. Some actually play, but most get the stuff second hand by watching.

You only have to watch the crowd at an AFL game to see how little is required to get many excited in todays world.

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It does appear that the need is growing as our lives become more safe
& boring. The first Hobart race had 7 entries. So soon after WW11 most had had their fill of excitement. Fifty years later a hundred boats were lining up to give up to a thousand people a dose of adrenalin.

They tell me that running can produce endorphins, which can cause a feeling of wellbeing. I wouldn't know, I'm not silly enough to bugger my knees doing such silly things as exercise, but the best natural shot still comes from fear. Yep adrenalin is about the only legal way to get a real high, & be praised for doing it.

Hasbeen – My post was largely tongue in cheek in an effort to get away from the monotonous recurring drone. However in saying that I am happy to explore the issue further.

The need to excel to impress your mates or a sheila in the context of sport I still reckon is cuddle driven. Productive activities such as cutting hay and building a house, in the past these skills where required to survive. An individual that had such abilities would attract the sheila’s and plenty of lazy mates. I have glimpsed briefly (not watched) numerous what could only be described as celebrity shoppers that seem to impress many in our current society.

I agree it is too easy to get by with publically funded (government) sit down money. It is my opinion that there should be no sit down money and recipients of public funds should be required to do something meaningful for a specific amount of time for their community. I advocate the abolition of all pensions and they be replaced by a universal national wage.

Mate if you want to get an adrenalin rush I reckon it’s hard to beat the horizontal tango. You can have your yacht racing, footy and jogging. It gives you a good workout, plenty of adrenalin and endorphins and by its nature plenty of cuddles. Most positions don’t bugger your knees either.

I used to play a fair amount of sport - cricket, rugby, squash, water skiing, scuba diving and tennis when I was at school and was quite good at them. I preferred the single rather than the team games because it was a question of pitting my personal skill against an opponent. Winning was mostly secondary. I am not really competitive and why I just like sailing, swimming and diving and the exercise connected with them.

I never watch sport as the actual playing part was the only feature that appealed to me. I feel that so many people have to get a vicarious thrill now by feeling connected to a team. I am so surprised by all the emotion attached to it. I just don't consider it very important in the nature of things, who wins the State of Origin or the constant prattle over celebrities who I have never heard of and their groin injuries.

Dear Producer,

I congratulate you on your hypothesis. Hopefully you will also be able to prove it - that could save lots of nonsense and help people to get what they want more directly. Meanwhile, if you like cuddles, you may be interested in http://www.space.org.au/loveisamiracle