I have thought long and hard as to why sport exists. Why an individual would put so much time and effort into attaining an unnatural level of human performance. Granted for a few there is fame and fortune but this is a very small minority. Some sports shorten life span as well as cause injury and even death. It an expensive undertaking and has a negative effect on productivity resulting in additional Aussie debt. Don’t tell Joe.

What is the thing that drives this addiction? I reckon I have figured out the cause, it is cuddle deficiency.

Think about it, whenever there is a win, a goal or a record is broken there is lots of cuddles. Not only do the participants have a good cuddle but so do the hanger on’ers and spectators. If you or your team win a competition or a grand final you are able to cuddle for an extended period after the event without raising eyebrows.

Why is it the fault of women and homophobes? Again think about it, although it is not so bad today, it would look a bit poofy for a couple of blokes and sheilas to a lesser degree to have a good cuddle outside the umbrella of sport. If women where less opposed to cuddling blokes that are less good looking and lacked personality they would not have to play sport to get a good cuddle.

Some parents who are aware of this issue even name their children to increase cuddle-ability. Why else would a parent call their son Cadel Evens?

I have an entirely different take on it producer, & may I suggest you don't try cuddling me, even if our team wins something.

I reckon one reason is a need to excel to impress your mates & even perhaps women. Before now you could be the strongest cutting hay, loading produce, gathering rocks for your stone house or fence, or chopping down trees. There were lots of things critical for successful life, where you could be the best, & impress the dolly bird.

It is a bit hard to impress anyone by being the best supermarket shopper.

A second reason is we have it so easy it doesn't take much of our time to earn a living. Hell the government will even give you a living if you can't be bothered yourself. This means lots of boring hours to fill, & one can only watch so much TV or movies.

But I think the main reason is adrenalin. Once upon a time we all got plenty of adrenalin just surviving. Catching a mammoth for our barbeque was pretty exciting, as was running away from that lion that wanted us for his picnic. We got all the adrenalin we could handle for free.

Now the most exciting thing most do all week is perhaps run for the bus one morning. That might be the most exciting thing that happens in a month of Sundays for many. To provide some adrenalin producing excitement we invented sport. Some actually play, but most get the stuff second hand by watching.

You only have to watch the crowd at an AFL game to see how little is required to get many excited in todays world.

Continued

Continued

It does appear that the need is growing as our lives become more safe
& boring. The first Hobart race had 7 entries. So soon after WW11 most had had their fill of excitement. Fifty years later a hundred boats were lining up to give up to a thousand people a dose of adrenalin.

They tell me that running can produce endorphins, which can cause a feeling of wellbeing. I wouldn't know, I'm not silly enough to bugger my knees doing such silly things as exercise, but the best natural shot still comes from fear. Yep adrenalin is about the only legal way to get a real high, & be praised for doing it.

Hasbeen – My post was largely tongue in cheek in an effort to get away from the monotonous recurring drone. However in saying that I am happy to explore the issue further.

The need to excel to impress your mates or a sheila in the context of sport I still reckon is cuddle driven. Productive activities such as cutting hay and building a house, in the past these skills where required to survive. An individual that had such abilities would attract the sheila’s and plenty of lazy mates. I have glimpsed briefly (not watched) numerous what could only be described as celebrity shoppers that seem to impress many in our current society.

I agree it is too easy to get by with publically funded (government) sit down money. It is my opinion that there should be no sit down money and recipients of public funds should be required to do something meaningful for a specific amount of time for their community. I advocate the abolition of all pensions and they be replaced by a universal national wage.

Mate if you want to get an adrenalin rush I reckon it’s hard to beat the horizontal tango. You can have your yacht racing, footy and jogging. It gives you a good workout, plenty of adrenalin and endorphins and by its nature plenty of cuddles. Most positions don’t bugger your knees either.

I used to play a fair amount of sport - cricket, rugby, squash, water skiing, scuba diving and tennis when I was at school and was quite good at them. I preferred the single rather than the team games because it was a question of pitting my personal skill against an opponent. Winning was mostly secondary. I am not really competitive and why I just like sailing, swimming and diving and the exercise connected with them.

I never watch sport as the actual playing part was the only feature that appealed to me. I feel that so many people have to get a vicarious thrill now by feeling connected to a team. I am so surprised by all the emotion attached to it. I just don't consider it very important in the nature of things, who wins the State of Origin or the constant prattle over celebrities who I have never heard of and their groin injuries.

Dear Producer,

I congratulate you on your hypothesis. Hopefully you will also be able to prove it - that could save lots of nonsense and help people to get what they want more directly. Meanwhile, if you like cuddles, you may be interested in http://www.space.org.au/loveisamiracle

Interesting comments.

I like the cuddle theory, but I reckon the adrenalin motive cracks it.

I’ve been a runner for many years. I get out there and do a hard belt up a hill or along a beach or whatever every day or so… and yes indeed I do feel good at the end of it. Actually, despite the hard slog, I feel really good while I’m doing it!

Those endorphins are really addictive, man!

And it is a whole lot less risky in terms of injury than playing some stupid team sport! Or other adrenalin-raising pursuit like base-jumping or mountain-climbing or even kite-surfing or cycling!

But…. alas….there are no cuddles in it!!

Oh… hold on…. who needs cuddles?? Those cuddles that you would get in team sports when you win or score an ‘important’ goal…eek…. who needs that sort of stuff? Guys cuddling guys? Crikey, what a turnoff! As if the constant barrage of bruises and very significant risk of injury wasn’t enough!!

Now, if I could join a young womans’ aerobics or pilates session and secure a few cuddles therein, I’d be in like a flash!

But alas, the desirable sort of cuddles are just not achievable from singular athletic pursuits, nor from team sports. ( :>(

<< Mate if you want to get an adrenalin rush I reckon it’s hard to beat the horizontal tango. >>

Ohhh…. If only it was that simple, Producer!

But a regular dose of HT doesn’t come without a whole huge mob of expenses and complications!

All-considered, I’d rather be a single, free, non-HTist, nomadic beachbum who’s right into jogging, bushwalking and other good exercise, than a HTist who is tied-down, married, with dependents, a mortgage, all manner of material possessions, absolutely dependent on a fulltime job, never free to go to the beach by yourself, always having to do what your partner or family wants you to do, blah, blah.

Nah… that old horizontal tango is very easy to beat in terms of adrenalin rush, endorphin-generation, health and wellbeing. ( :>)

Hasbeen: It is a bit hard to impress anyone by being the best supermarket shopper.

Don't you watch TV at all. Woollies, Coles, IGA,& Aldi Ads. A better look is the Info channel for Make-up. Talk about chest bumps. ;-)

Hasbeen: Yep adrenalin is about the only legal way to get a real high.

I guess that's why I went Skydiving when I came home from Vietnam. I saved me.

Producer: recipients of public funds should be required to do something meaningful for a specific amount of time for their community.

I guess that locks out a lot of the touchy feely University Courses.

Snake: I am not really competitive.

I'm with you. All my sports were individual types. The reason they have football etc. is so normal people can feel safe from the thugs on the streets on the weekend.

Sports in my younger days. Skydiving, Orienteering, Shooting, all weapons, from a Shanghai to a 106mm Recoilless. I have my Marksman's badges. They wouldn't let me play with a 105 though. Buggar ;-)

Yes Producer I got your drift, & was in some danger of biting my tongue when I replied.

Granted your horizontal tango has provided me with endorphins, but I have not noticed much adrenalin. Unlike the black widow spider, most human males do survive these encounters.

Perhaps the flood of endorphins overwhelm any fear we should be feeling. The likelihood that this tango will leads to financial suicide in male participants is very real, but somehow suppressed. It can only be this that prevents us seeing the danger, generating the adrenalin & fleeing before the trap is fully sprung.

Yes it is gentle on knees, but there is also a familiarity aspect. I have danced that tango some thousands of times, as have many of us by my age, but I have only come down Conrod straight at 180 MPH 27 times. While I was quite familiar with doing it at the 140/150 MPH range, 27 times was no where enough to become accustomed, let alone familiar with that speed.

The old song, You Gotta be a Football Hero appears to be just as true today as it was back in the 30s, & even happens in school ever since we've had coeducational education.

Perhaps that's the problem, & we should never have let those girls go to school.

You want Adrenalin rush. I'll give you Adrenalin rush.

I was putting some water in the bath tub & got waylaid. Now there water right through the house & some got in the carpet.

The wife is due home in half & hour. :-0 $#!t. Gotta go!

Oh no Jayb!

There are all sorts of frustrations and expenses associated with getting a bit of HT…. but that is ridiculous!! ( :>/

Hope you clean it up and hide the evidence of near-distaster bfor the missus gets ome. Otherwise it looks like there won’t be any HT for you tonite!! (Bathwater all the way through the ouse and into the loungeroom carpet! Wow! Your gunna be in the dogouse for at least a week!)

My, my we are onto page two and I wasn’t expecting a comment!

I have to say that some of the comments have been less than flattering to the female of the species. For the record as a husband to two wives (not at the same time), father of three daughters and grandfather to four granddaughters (to date) the females of the species have given me great joy and I adore them all.

Hasbeen – Your last comment would categorise you as a fundamentalist Muslim that is a rev head. I gather you have no problem with Boko Haram abducting school girls.

Yuyutsu – Nice of you but no thanks!

As you the rest, it would seem enjoyment and challenge of individual physical activity rather than sport that is the big plus, to this I say good on ya. However there is also a bit of mistrust as far as the sheilas go. The general consensus is that there is a cost and risk is greater than the reward. Sorry chaps, I can’t agree with you!
The other thing is there is little support for commercial and organised advertising sold by parasites to the masses as sport. If I read you right I agree and also do not support the concept. Put simply, I believe sport is something you do for enjoyment (and cuddles) after your real job.

Spin it Jayb, say you where washing the floor and shampooing the carpet. Don’t forget to empty the tub first or you will blow it.

It would seem OLO has be infiltrated by a parasite advertiser miao520?

Hey Jayb, that water is dangerous stuff isn't it. We sure can't live without it, but it can be difficult to live with too.

I was doing some washing the other day. The laundry can be little dark, if you don't open the door, or turn the light on. I did not notice that someone had taken the bucket, filled it with water & some soaking fluid, put HER sneakers in it, & put it in the tub the washing machine discharges its water into.

Yep you guessed it. It blocked off the drain, & soapy water went every where.

Of course that tub sits on a cupboard where all the boxes & bottles of cleaning gear is stored, along with shoe polish polishing & cleaning cloths & sundry other stuff. Hope your cleanup & dry out is quicker than mine was.

When I was 16-17 my two closest friends and I were all B division players on the dating scene because we didn't play footy...however, we hit upon the brilliant idea that while the other guys were busy playing "yobbo ball" on Saturday we'd go and watch the girls play Netball and be loud, enthusiastic barrackers for the young ladies we fancied and were trying to attract.
Result: Word must have got out about our antics and a group of footy players jumped us coming out of the pictures one Saturday night, if not for the intervention of the old Greek who owned the chip shop we might have copped a really serious hiding instead of the few lumps we ended up with.

OW!, ow, Ow!

Now she wants new carpets throughout the house.

Suddenly, I feel very sad for you, Ludwig.

>>I’d rather be a single, free, non-HTist, nomadic beachbum who’s right into jogging, bushwalking and other good exercise... Nah… that old horizontal tango is very easy to beat in terms of adrenalin rush, endorphin-generation, health and wellbeing.<<

You have my very deepest sympathy.

Where do you get this fundamentalist Muslim for me Producer. They are the ones with multiple wives, producing as many offspring as possible.

I have never been in favor with cluttering the place with kids. Meanwhile I would take out the entire Boko Haram where ever I found them.

Hasbeen – You said

<<The old song, You Gotta be a Football Hero appears to be just as true today as it was back in the 30s, & even happens in school ever since we've had coeducational education.

Perhaps that's the problem, & we should never have let those girls go to school.>>

Naturally I assumed you were not in favour of mixing of the sexes or female education. This is a Muslim fundamentalist doctrine. As you are aware Boko Harem abducted a couple of hundred female students because they do not believe in female education.

You need to pick your metaphors more carefully I suggest?

With regard to Boko Harem I would give you a hand!

Ahh Pericles, you feel for sad for me... because I have the freedom to be a beachbum (amongst many other pursuits) and to travel up and down the coast between north Qld and Vic and across to WA and indulge in my passions of all things botanical, geological and ‘birdological’ and not work for living for a couple of years and to be single and to suit myself entirely as to what I do, with no one else to be concerned about.

Hmmm. Yes, that’s really something to feel sad for me about!

Oh hold on. Of course, how silly of me. You feel sad for me because I don’t get a regular dose of HT…. and nothing else about my lifestyle matters to you.

Oh no… no that’s still not right.

Ahh. I’ve got it this time…. you don’t actually feel sad for me at all. You’re just saying that because….well because that sort of a negative person.

I think the truth is that you feel envy rather than sadness….. not least because you’re couped up right in the guts of that enormous horrible ‘clogmire’ of Sydney!! ( :>)

Not exactly, Ludwig.

>>You feel sad for me because I don’t get a regular dose of HT<<

I feel sorry for you because you prefer it to be that way.

>>I’d rather be a single, free, non-HTist,<<

I find it difficult even to contemplate such a preference, myself.