csteele, "Dear Foxy, Welcome back. That Lexi has been such a pain in your absence so I hope you intend straightening her out. ;)"

Is this a private joke?

Dear Foxy,

I am sorry to hear about your experience. I think a common thread between the two is a feeling of helplessness and the angst it can cause. I completely understand the need for medical intervention to cope.

One comment to me from a relative who is a health professional was that it was lucky I am not the type to self medicate as they had seen many instances of people turning to booze to manage their feelings. In fact 'a few stiff whiskeys' was proscribed by a retired officer.

In my case I don't think it would have helped and possibly could have hindered or delayed my coming to terms, to the degree I have, with what had happened.

I am not wanting to lessen the role of psychologists or other mental health professionals but for me the answer lay in finding someone who was familiar with the territory/scenario and stepping through the sequence of events. Assurances that I had 'done the right thing' were simply platitudes to my ears and ineffectual.

On a certain level this has been a really disconcerting experience for someone who likes to think of themselves as logical and to a large extent analytical.

I would not wish it on anyone.

Dear csteele,

I fully understand where you're coming from.
And Thank Goodness that you were able to sort
it all out.

I did try a psychologist (on my GP's recommendation)
who turned out to not be of much help at all.
She tried to hypnotise me at one stage - and that
was a complete flop.
I finally realised that I had to help myself, nobody
else could do it for me as I had hoped. The answers
lay within me to find, instead I looked to others
to provide me with them. Once I took control of my own
life, I got better. Apart from my addiction to the
tablets, which lasted for a few years until I stopped
"cold turkey." It was difficult to do, but looking
back, I'm glad I did. I still have the occasional
nightmare - but I think that's to be expected.
Although it is getting better every day.

Dear onthebeach,

This is an open forum so you may distribute your pearls of wisdom where you see fit. My advice for what it is worth is to refrain from making direct comments about this particular incident because there are assumptions you have already made that are inaccurate.

As stated at the start of the thread I did not intend going into the details of what occurred but wanted to state for the record I have done a complete 180 on the topic of stress leave for these professions.

As someone who has owned and operated small businesses for most of their life I had always considered myself often operating for extended periods in high stress environments particularly when instructing others in some fairly dangerous sport. I viewed stress leave as something taken only because it was available, particularly by those in public service.

I was deluded and wrong. These people, particularly police and health workers, need our support and resources to heal mentally from the impacts of incidents like this. They and their families need to be put first.

I do not claim any understanding of the stresses front-line workers go through but I now have a small insight into what some of the impacts might look like and it ain't pretty. I especially didn't consider feelings of utter remorse being one of them. I knew by posting this thread I was going to leave myself open to the likes of yourself OTB and am prepared to wear it but tread a little carefully.

As to the private joke perhaps a look at the posting history of both Foxy and Lexi might afford you some enlightenment.

csteele, "These people, particularly police and health workers, need our support and resources to heal mentally from the impacts of incidents like this. They and their families need to be put first"

Agreed.

Ambulance, medical and nursing staff are regularly abused, threatened and assaulted by the people they are trying to assist.

Contrary to popular opinion, many of the offenders take advantage of the situation to harm these workers.

It isn't as though all offenders are so far under drugs they don't know what they are doing although even a tazer will not subdue some, including druggies in particular.

Also contrary to the opinions of the uninformed so often encountered in the media, police are so tightly controlled by procedures and by the certainty of a painful aftermath of any use of force to subdue an offender, even where the offender is violent, that they may pause. Offenders know that.

Fact is, some offenders are just plain mean. They hate by choice and nothing will ever change that.

I can't see much point in stress leave. It is the wrong approach.

When someone finds they are in a job which makes emotional demands they can't handle, no amount of leave is going to make a difference.

Even more does this apply when the problem is accumulative, & continual exposure has caused the problem.

These people should be given help to change career path, to something they can handle, not be given continual bouts of leave, hoping the problem will go away.

When a number of us were picking body parts of a compatriot after an explosion, some could not function, & had to go away. Some quietly threw up in private behind any handy obstacle, & some were not visibly effected.

I have no opinion as to which is the "right" reaction, but obviously some people should not do some jobs.