SHOCKING......

I smacked my kids...

This morning on the news, there was some story research done on Australians Attitudes.

The report appears to be DELIBERATELY incenduary. It says "45% of Australians believe it is ok to leave a MARK on their kids due to physical punishment, 1 in 10 believe it is ok to use an implement"

BUT HOW MANY believe it is ok to smack generally, withOUT leaving a mark ?

When my 12 year old daughter slipped out her bedroom window at 2.00am with her 11 year old girlfriend, and sat in the middle of the bush surrounded oval over our back fence, I took her in the presense of her friend, and smacked her bum many MANy times... and deliberately sought to TRAUMATIZE her to a limited degree..while ramming home in very LOUD words that there are people out there who would do diabolical things to them, and that it was the most stupid thing they could ever do.

We could have had a reasonable' discussion about all this, and of course, pictures of mouth cancer on cigarette packets 'reasonably' deter smokers from the habit.....right ? WRONG, but a trip to intensive care does.

The ONE thing children must always understand in the administration of discipline of any kind, is that it comes from love and concern, and is about their welfare.

I can STILL remember the ONE time my father whacked me in an unjust manner...and I still resent it, but forgave him. The MANY times I got the strap for knowingly doing the wrong thing, are simply water under the bridge in my upbringing. Sometimes there are more effective strategies than smacking. Like when my cousin and I (under his leadership of course :) flogged some smokes from Coles. Dad busted us and told us we had to go back there, confess and return them. I never repeated the offense.

Make smacking illegal, and reap the anti social consequences. Thats not a threat...its a promise. (hands up all who would choose 'teaching' as an occupation ?)

Boaz, whilst I agree with corporal restraint in very limited circumstances, mainly when a child is about to place themselves directly in danger, as in run out on a busy road. What you describe and how you handled it, shows your lack of understanding of childhood behaviour To abuse and hit someone, use threats and fear, certainly doesn't get the message across for an elicit adventure. Sure there are bad people out there but its not endemic, its rare except within the houses of god.

To inflict that form of psychological and physical abuse upon someone who would appear to be trying to push the boundaries they have suppressing them, doesn't warrant your response. However I'm wiling to concede you can't perceive, maybe your daughter's just rebelling against the amount of suppression you place upon her life. She may also be a rebelling at what see she's is the uselessness and falseness of your faith and wishes to get away from it.

Its your suppressive and dogmatic approach that makes you fear giving your daughter some of the freedom and adventure she most surely is missing, having to sneak out.

However a great example of a monotheistic approach, violent, abusive and repressive. I bet she doesn't see you in the light you want her to. Sad how your belief ends up ruining so many lives with your indoctrinated fear of the worlds reality. Sounds like your young daughter is desperate to get out.

Ps, I'm not prepared to discuss scripture, particularly science fiction as Daniel is. Maybe your daughter has evolved further than you and is frightened under your violent direction. Doesn't seem to be working for you, so only one option for an unthinking monotheist, you resort to violence

I see no love in hitting a 12 year old young women many times, except when instilling gods form of love.

Smacking is for pre-schoolers - after that, the promise of heaven and threat of hell ;-)

a hand "smack" on my son't butt when was necessary probably saved his life by keeping him from burning his hand on the stove to running out, without looking of course, into the highway!

Seeker...good one :)

Alchy

that particular incident was the first smack she had experienced for probably 5 yrs :) You clearly don't know my area, or the dangers involved with 'that' park. There have been rapes there. There are drug users and pushers who frequent it at night, usually after midnight.

PS.. we did 'lose' out daughter once before this, in Croydon main street, I walked out of a shop after telling her to stay with my wife, then she came out of the shop after me, but went the wrong direction.. as simple as that. My wife thought she was with me.

The last thing passers by who we asked said was "We saw 2 men talking with her, and one saying he should take her to the police station"...... which of course could have been ANYwhere....he chose to take her...

Fortunately in this case. He did the right thing, and when we rang them they told us they had her.

Your comments about 'my faith' ? sheesh.. you must think I wiped their bums while quoting bible verses as well eh ? I didn't tell her she would 'go to hell' if she disobeyed me...maybe ur telling more about you ? :)

Anyway, you could have left all reference to 'faith' out of the discussion, because its not about faith so much as plain common sense.
Though, the Bible does say "Spare the rod and spoil the child". The principle obviously being 'discipline'.

BD, its the faith children have in you, that determines their reactions to your directions. If they don't have faith in your faith and the way you provide them with education and care in life, then they rebel. They need parental care that helps develop their individuality and ability to feel secure and free within the restraints of their environments, not making them rebel.

Considering what you say about your area, only makes it worse that she wished to disobey and get a thrill from what she sees as a restrictive and boring life. A psychological diagnosis would determine she isn't happy, as would her disobeying you whilst shopping. If your 12 year old daughter has to seek the help of strangers whilst shopping, then she doesn't seem to have much sense of the reality around her. Again a plea for help and understanding.

During my time in the church, I spent quite a time working with young ladies from 6 to 17, many very confused about what they saw life as and what their religious parents presented to them. Some gave up and became miserable clones of their parents. Many rebelled, either ending up pregnant trying to find love, running away or distancing themselves from their parents once they could leave home.

So I would say, using corporal punishment for some one of that age, would be a good sign of your parental failure. Maybe she feels your family is more devoted to your beliefs than her, very sad for young minds but prevalent in families of worship.

Your beliefs bring your children up, mine brought mine up, to say otherwise is typically blind denial.