Erroneous flaws of the human instinct:

…Without doubt human relationships are what life is about: We are personally confronted with human relationship issues throughout our lives in a continuum of action and reaction. Some of the more obvious areas of our personal interactions are with retailers and the raft of other business dealings; many struggle with personality clashes between peer groups in the workplace: But observation dictates the most confronting relationships, those most emotionally intense and draining of energy, are too often relationships involving life partners, and the inevitable family attachments pertaining.

…My quest for a conclusive answer to this mysterious conundrum, set me on the path of wonder again recently, to question why the inaugural flush of love between sweethearts, all too soon sours with such devastating consequence, not unusually radiating negative outcomes to surrounding individuals of many families involved in the relationship to deal with; (collateral damage).

…The weak link in forming relationships (I love this acronym) IMO, is an expectation of success and happiness so formed, from a decision made with a complete trust in our flawed instinct for choice; a human instinct set deeply and internally in our brains two million years ago, but now desperately attempting to remain credible, and by so doing, convincingly fooling us into believing an applicability and infallibility of its decision making engineering, will succeed in successful decision making in a modern world captured by the exponentially speeding change of our personal environment.

…How then do we gear our antiquated “horse and cart” instincts to a new and emerged age of speed, requiring a comparable and reliable decision making ability to keep pace in our inter-personal dealings, but at the same time, one that allows the soul of the natural decision making apparatus in our brains, to rest in peace, and happy to be less relied upon: The question extends to what decision making compass can be relied upon for the unique purpose of making correct choices in our personal relationships?

You are a very brave man Diver Dan.
If honesty is to over come personal pain.
If individuals personal experiences are not to reject reality, we may talk forever on this subject.
And fight!
At my birth the scales in matters of personal relationships tilted.
After a brief courtship followed by a wedding mums and dads settled in to a lifetime of near separatism.
He in the pub till 6pm she in the kitchen, love and romance was not the prime mover.
He even called her MUM!
Dads could wander while away from mum but it was not seen much that mum did the same.
A freedom came to females at the time of the pill, todays young woman would not understand the life of her grandmother.
Both men and women now strive to find total love and a love that rarely ever exists.
I blame evolution.
Looking for the best mate the best looking performing hunter gathering mate.
Life is short not forever, and while we waste time looking for perfection life passes us by.
While we consider we deserve better we ignore the great thing looking us IN the eye a loyal partner is worth twenty in the bush.
By the way todays self centered little Princesses would turn me to republicanism if I was still a Hunter gatherer.

interesting topic dan
but even animal instinct has 'relations'
some say thats what evolution is really all about
much of course..depends on..what we CHOSE to relate to/with...

your talk relates much to my most recent notes
i would have titled into a topic called soul mates
or more specificlly re-incarnation re soul meetings..

[as opposed to your...""why the inaugural flush of love..between sweethearts,..all too soon sours..with such devastating..connsequence,..

not unusually radiating negative outcomes..to surrounding individuals of many families involved..in the relationship to deal with;..(collateral damage).
""]

i can find reply there..for condolances

we are all joined..[that we do to the least
we do to the most..;who enjoins us][but who specifily..hasnt got that peer/relation..[equal]..thus where HIS..""expectation of success and happiness so formed,""

with us his creation
us created in his image
rejected from the beginning by adam
[who wanted what the beasts got;thus got his sister]

think of the only..[L]only 'one'

""from a decision made..with a complete trust
in"..HIS*.."flawed instinct for choice;""

his choice..not..""a human instinct
set deeply and internally in our brains two million years ago,""
[666.000 years ago]

""but now desperately attempting to remain credible,
and by so doing,..convincingly fooling us into believing an applicability and infallibility of"..his...""decision making engineering,""

and gift upon those
he thought to adore as EQUAL

his creation's..""will succeed in successful decision
making in a modern world captured..by the exponentially speeding change of our personal environment.>>""

of the self realisation that we are all..
on our path to seeing his good godlyness IN ALL
[it begins with LOVE...that belessed FELINg of oneness..[at-one-meant]

""…How then do we gear our antiquated “horse and cart” instincts..to a new and emerged age of speed,"""

slowdown..live in the moment
see[find]..the good in EVERYTHING...in EVEryone

love finds us cause it travels no distance
it[he lies within every living thing]..""requiring a comparable and reliable decision making ability..to keep pace in our inter-personal dealings,""

yeah man
LOVE IT*

""but at the same time,..one that allows..the soul""..lol

""of the natural decision making apparatus in our brains,..to rest in peace,..and happy to be..*..less relied upon:""

yeah
we are so close to all out love feasting

""The question extends..to what decision making compass
can be relied upon..""

IMPORTANT QUESTION

LOVE*
love....luv
love is all we need

love our other
love our brother
luv our sister too

love life
love yourself
love the gift we all share
that love deep within us all..[EL]

Diver Dan,

I think we can be taught to understand the emotions involved in relationships. Nothing is absolute of course but some guidelines can be established at a very early age.

That the initial attraction is usually little more than a mating urge no matter how we disguise it with words like love etc it does not necessarily mean the relationship is doomed to failure.

True love and respect is learned and earned and as such takes time and effort which many are not willing to give. Anything worthwhile takes effort to achieve and a relationship is no different.

To think the first flush of love or attraction is going to make for a deep and long lasting relationship is fraught with peril.

If it is to be worthwhile you must talk when its time to talk and be quiet when that is also necessary. A touch at the appropriate time will convey more than any amount of words will do.

It is about learning and the willingness to learn. It is about responsibility and the acceptance of that responsibility. You are dealing with something unique, another human being, possibly the greatest gift that can be given to another. Like a gift of any value it needs to treasured and made secure.

It needs to be taught and demonstrated at a very early age as the knowledge for a successful relationship is not inherent in us.

Just my thoughts.

Take it easy.

SD

Recognising self control and its application to love!

...Intellect and instinct exist in chasmal separation; thus, intelligent thought required to assess outcomes applicable to decision making, which incorporates consequences, is not subjective to intuitive control, whereas instinct is.

...The void between intellect and instinct is the synaptic gap requiring a “conductor” (of sorts) for connection of the two mediums and thus facilitating the flow of intelligent and informed reaction by similarly allowing the performance of interpretative instruction to the external stimulus (presenting as the reactive force) which is to be dealt with by the instinct to be combined with the intellect, thus producing a controlled and beneficial personal outcome!