Bit of a change of pace for this thread.
I was recently reading a book by Lewis Hyde titled "The Gift" which examined different aspects of gift giving. In consumer society we tend to see gift giving as a two-way proposition. However, many societies practice "gift economy" which necessitates three or more parties so that the gift and its "spirit" can circulate - and that a person or community who bestows their gift, receives one in turn from a different source, a little like pass-the-parcel.

A couple of quote from the book:
"There are several distinct senses of "gift"...., but common to each of them is the notion that a gift is a thing we do not get by our own efforts. We cannot buy it, we cannot acquire it through an act of will. It is bestowed on us....gifts must always move."

"....wherever property circulates as a gift, the increase that accompanies that circulation is simultaneously material, social and spiritual; where wealth moves as a gift, an increase in material wealth is automatically accompanied by increased conviviality of the group and the strengthening of the spirit of the gift."

Also discussed in the book is the creative spirit in man - his gift - and how he is compelled to release it and to have it circulate...."The gift turned inward, unable to be given, becomes a heavy burden...so long as the gift is not withheld, the creative spirit will remain a stranger to the economics of scarcity...On the contrary, it is the talent which is not in use that atrophies, and to bestow one of our creations is the surest way to invoke the next."

Wondering what you all think about gift giving?

Poirio with the gifting comes the kudos, would we give the gift anonymously?

Our expectation is delight from the recipient and kudos for the giver. Personally I am not into gifts that impress. But we had a $20 million lotto this week and as always when I purchased the ticket I started imaging gathering all my friends and family around and handing out cash gifts that start at $250K, now that is gifting and other than my personal financial security to give to those that matter would be my biggest buzz.

My understanding of gift giving is encapsulated in the old saying "there's no such thing as a free lunch".

Poirot, may I recommend a classic essay by one of your fellow Francophones, Marcel Mauss, entitled simply "The Gift"? It should be available in any good library:

"In his classic work The Gift, Mauss argued that gifts are never "free". Rather, human history is full of examples that gifts give rise to reciprocal exchange. The famous question that drove his inquiry into the anthropology of the gift was: "What power resides in the object given that causes its recipient to pay it back?" (1990:3). The answer is simple: the gift is a "total prestation", imbued with "spiritual mechanisms", engaging the honour of both giver and receiver..."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcel_Mauss

Morganzola,

Thank you for that - I would love to read the essay by Mauss.

Lewis Hyde cites this classic essay in his book and drew much from it for his own study. Here's a short quote:

"Mauss noticed, for one thing, that gift economies tend to be marked by three related obligations: the obligation to give, the obligation to accept, and the obligation to reciprocate. He also pointed out that we should understand gift exchange to be a "total social phenomenon" - one whose transactions are at once economic, juridical,moral, aesthetic, religious and mythological...."

I think the "spirit" of the gift is central to its intrinsic social value. I wonder, however, how much our money/profit oriented society has access to the fundamental value of gift exchange.

Sonofgloin,

It's interesting that you gained a good feeling from imagining yourself giving to family and friends. I think most of us have pictured ourselves in similar circumstances and enjoyed the buzz as well.

the 'buzz' of giving a gift
often lasts longer than the feelings of recieving

[that is to say...most gifts..most of the time...]

this might reflect upon the value of the gift..
or the reason...as much as the gift itself.

im reminded of the gift of the white elephant
[that must be fed/groomed/housed...
yet musn't be used..to 'earn its keep;..work]

we know diamonds are a girls best friend
when the friend isnt a true friend
[but friends are worth more than the gift]

im reminded of the wealthy parents poor child...
who's life is filled with every gift imaginable...
yet lacking in parental attention..the true 'gift'

just as gifts are slippery
they also cut down resistance
[im thinking more like grease...helps move the immovable object
yet getting vision guidance...that of bribe gifting,..rather than flower's and chocolate and oysters]

then you got tghat gift of a thing being free...lol
like an ebook for bying insurance..or a free flight..
needing an expensive room rental on a credit card

anyhow
the best gift we each have is freewill
lived by simply the gift of life

thank you lord
for thy creation and nurture

the logic of light
sustaining life
via logic...
into love

a true gift needs no strings
indeed has no further obligation
it must be a gift..[in the true meaning of the word]

ps
never give large gifts
storage soon becomes a problem
if it cant be hidden...[its not a gift]

Poirot your post reminded me of the Kevin Spacey film 'Pay it Forward' whereby the giver of a favour or good turn merely asks for the receiver to pay it forward and do another person in need a good turn.

It is a bit twee, but I love the concept.

Giving is both selfless and selfish sometimes depending on the moment and context. Giving a gift to your child and seeing their face light up is rewarding and in some way the giver is also receiving something in return. I love the idea of something homemade, homecooked or grown even though I rarely do this myself both through lack of talent and opting for expediency which is something I could do better. I love receivnig a gift that is handmade and would prefer a homemade jam, cake, knitted scarf or homegrown pumpkin than a bottle of Chanel No. 5. But then I am happy with a bag of cow manure for the garden. :)

The most selfless gift is probably that which is done anonymously as someone posted above. There are many now who opt for donations to charity in lieu of gifts.

The psychology of giving gifts is probably linked with the human need to maintain relationships and the hedonistic pleasure in giving and receiving. It is an interesting topic.