My son was falsely accused just before his 16th birthday. This nightmare goes on and on for him.

He was never allowed to face his 11 year old accuser in court. The family moved out of state 10 days before trial. Her prior accusations (she'd accused twice before) were inadmissable thanks to rape shield protection. She had a contagious bacterial infection at the time, but 'victim's' medical information is 'confidential'. Her physical exam showed her to be virginally intact.

My son faced 6 years in prison. He accepted an Alford plea for no jail time when his attorney assured us the 'victim' would win in court. She was checked into a mental facility so she wouldn't have to return to WA state to testify.

His plea bargain was voided when he passed a third polygraph during his sentencing evaluation. They said he was 'in denial'.

He spent the next three years reporting weekly to probation as a 'dangerous sex offender', and failing 'sex offender therapy'. Sex offender therapy is comparable to a pit bull arena. Just being forced to confess to a crime you didn't do is not enough - you have to pass a polygraph, and he failed it every time. He was placed on an ankle monitor for failing the confession polygraph.

He has spent every birthday since age 16 at the police station, registering as a sex offender.

He fears marriage. He is afraid to have children. Our family has been publicly 'listed' along with him. He was supposed to only have to register for 10 years, but the laws changed. It's now 20 years. Laws are passed restricting where he can live, where he can work, if he can travel...his life will never be 'normal'.

I was molested as a child. I have a choice if I want the world to know about it or not. I can choose to put it behind me, or not. I can live where I want. I can choose to let it define my life, or put it away.

He will never have that choice

onlyone, thanks for putting a human face to this issue. Your post sent shivers through me - I feel for your son and family and the pain that you have suffered.

R0bert

I'll put it this way, having endured both situations - I'd rather have my money stolen than to be falsely accused of being a thief. I greatly prefer to have been a rape victim than to have to live the rest of my life publicly listed as a sex offender as an innocent person.

I have tried to make public the horror of a false accusation on other discussions, but have been roundly hissed and told to be quiet by 'victims' or their advocates.

What other crime in existance requires conviction and punishment of innocent people in order for 'victims' to feel vindicated?

What other crime in existance makes it necessary to believe the unbelieveable in order to appease 'victims'?

onlyone, hopefully you will have a better reception here.

There are other issues with a similar response, I've heard one well known anti-child abuse advocate say that she is willing for innocent men to go to jail if it might better protect children. Men trying to speak about DV where males are the victim meet a similar response.

It seems that some feel that it weakens the position of genuine victims if the lies are acknowledged. I tend to think that pretending that the false allegations don't happen does greater damage.

R0bert

The more I read and learn about false accusations of rape, the more convinced I become that false accusations are just as horrible a crime as rape itself. They are, in fact, a form of psychological rape and as we have seen from some individual cases (thank you for sharing, Onlyone; it is a very sad story) a person can be emotionally and economically and also socially destroyed as a result, perhaps even for life.

The (mainstream) media hardly pays attention to the perpetrators and fail to recognise falsely accused men as victims.

Ronnie, surely you must acknowledge that ignoring, or worse, defending women in cases like the above must surely be bad for Feminism? Blindly being loyal to women and support whatever they say is not a good practice.

As a woman I feel that feminism has done many positive things for women and I mostly agree with their stands, but I refuse to look at things from only a feminist POV as it is restrictive and not helping to form an as unbiased opinion as possible.
As RObert says, the most important thing is to focus on trying to find solutions.
One way to start is to openly talk about all concerns.

Four men were murdered the past year for being listed on a sex offender registry. Countless others have been harassed, beaten up, committed suicide.

One of those murdered was a man who's 'offense' was to have a 3 years younger (consentual) girlfriend when he was 18. In our case, we've experienced neighbors who no longer speak to us, and we had to place our youngest son in a private school after classmates found out he brother was on a list.

Mistaken identies have resulted in innocent people being beaten or harassed, as well.

There is no escape. If some mentally unbalanced person wants to harm you, you still have to provide your home address to them, or go to prison.

FBI reports are now saying 1 in 4 rape claims may be false. This has the highest conviction rate of any crime, so it stands to reason many, many innocent men are suffering for 'the cause'.