That is true JamesH which is why when these issues come up we should try and look at the incident on its own merits and judge it on the facts of what happened rather than take a gender-defensive perspective. While what you say about transference and projection is apt it is difficult to look from another's perspective but we should at least try. Only men know what it is like to be a man, women only what it is like to be a woman.

Houlley likes to pretend that women only see female victims - that is not true. On OLO I have rarely seen any acknowledgment of the difficulties faced by woman especially in regard to rape or single parenthood, by some of the more vitriolic posters. I find that difficult to understand. But that is only on OLO thankfully it is not something that one encounters often in RL.

When someone brings up an issue like sexuality and asks why men should feel guilty about their sexual needs, my first reaction was I didn't know men felt guilty about their sexual needs. It is women who by and large, have lived with social pressure in regard to sexual needs ie. frigid or sl*t. A woman who expresses her sexual needs has always been seen as a tart whereas a man's sexual prowress gets a hearty good on you mate and a slap on the back. Do men want women to be just as sexually aggressive? I wouldn't know, but if the answer is no then lets not be hypocritical.

Same with single parenthood - no-one addressed my point earlier about the kudos given to men who raise children on their own contrasted with the demonisation of single mothers many who have had no choice in their singledom.

The only people who should be 'demonised' are the ones committing crimes such as rape or child abuse. There is too much wasted time and energy in demonising victims or the opposite sex.

A bit of honesty would not go astray on both sides.

Pelican,

<Same with single parenthood - no-one addressed my point earlier about the kudos given to men who raise children on their own contrasted with the demonisation of single mothers many who have had no choice in their singledom.>

There are a number of issues here, firstly it is still not (statistically) common for men to be single fathers and I have seen single fathers who do not cope very well at all.

Secondly there is demonization and more than a little bit of martydom for single mother, and you put in the 'not by choice' that is true in some instance, but perhaps for many others, it is by choice.

Someone posted before that some men prefer to stay at work, rather than go home to a hostile house and partner.

What better way to end a relationship, then to create the enviroment for that to happen, that way it is to blame the other person and not accept responsibility for your own behaviour.

Demonizing perpetrators does nothing to preventing rape or child sexual abuse. It can however lead to witch hunts. Over the last decade or more the definition of rape has been changed to the point that almost all heterosexual sexual encounters could be classified as rape or sexual assault.

It does appear that there is a group who want to increase the percentage of the number of men who are found guilty as charged. Rules of evidence have been changed, the mere definition of rape has been changed. The law on consent has been changed. Consent can be implied or nonverbal but not in sexual assault cases.(why is the onus being only put on males?)

The change in definition in itself increased the numbers of alleged offenses, thus increasing the percentages.

The jury is still out on the issue of how many women actually lie about rape, and yet at this point in time, no one is prepared to use the best research method available at this time and that is the lie detector. Sure there are problems with this, as is with all research.

Pelican

While you might still choose to believe that men get "a hearty good on you mate and a slap on the back" after every fling, please remember that it is not our perspective. We have all seen these blokes copping both barrels for their sleazyness. Sexual harassment rules and sexual assault laws are also applied mainly to men.

For every dinosaur who think he is a stud, she is a slut, I could find ten hypocrytes who think that she is liberated, he is a deadbeat.

I think i will agree with that last comment.
I have no plans to live in Afganistan at all.
I blame men for letting women get out of hand, i don't think it was supposed to last.
Femenism was an absolute disaster for Au, all it achieved was to push the costs of every commodity through the roof.
All the banks could see was 2 incomes, beauty you can pay twice as much on your mortgage, and in return we will give you twice as much money to pay back. The locals took the bait. Now you can bye today and pay in 4 years time.
Women didn't know when they were well off, that is what caused the destruction of the family unit.
With no end in sight of the demorilization of women, the only winners are the creditors.

Men and Women are just as bad as each other.

Women whore around just as much as men do, women hit on men in the workplace (wanted or not) just as much as men do and they go out on the weekend for a hook up just as much as men do.

Women who use the 'man brain' excuse (as in men think about sex more and can't control themselves) need to take caution around these PEOPLE who can't control themselves.
Men who use the same excuse need to grow up and take personal responsibility.

Sure men are responsible for the repression of women but thats history.
There are equal rights now and that is the way it should be, no sex should be dependent on another, this in my point of view is evolution but unfortunately there have been some minds who were left behind.

Men can control themselves and so can women, no excuses or 'greater needs' or physical superiority should warrant anything else by either sex.

Male prisoners in EVERY country in the world DRAMATICALLY outnumber female prisoners. Yes, we demonise men, and for very good reasons. Male propensity for physical violence is the reason why they are demonised. It's a major reason for their imprisonment. If men were "only" as violent as women, there would be no need to demonise men any more than we demonise women.

It's all the result of male physical violence towards both men and women.

Male violence is a serious biological problem that's been with us since the beginning of human life on the planet. It still remains a serious problem to this very day.

Yes, there's very good reasons why men are demonised.