The National Forum   Donate   Your Account   On Line Opinion   Forum   Blogs   Polling   About   
The Forum - On Line Opinion's article discussion area



Syndicate
RSS/XML


RSS 2.0

Main Articles General

Sign In      Register

The Forum > General Discussion > Relationships and Phyical Abuse

Relationships and Phyical Abuse

  1. Pages:
  2. 1
  3. 2
  4. 3
  5. ...
  6. 8
  7. 9
  8. 10
  9. Page 11
  10. 12
  11. All
Pynchme, I know that you didn't ask me, but I really hope that my daughter (when she is older) will need to be in real danger before she might feel afraid. If not, I would think that I had failed her as a parent. If she grows up to be manipulative enough to get an AVO that she didn't really need, I would also feel like a failed parent.

Do we really want to socialise girls to live their lives in fear?
Posted by benk, Friday, 5 February 2010 1:58:08 PM
Find out more about this user Recommend this comment for deletion Return to top of page Return to Forum Main Page Copy comment URL to clipboard
Pynchme, I made the fatal mistake of coming back today to see how you were going on this post. I am now angry at how 'Septic and to a lesser extent, Benk, have been bullying both you and I for daring to have a different opinion to theirs.
Some choice comments they have leveled at you and I include:

"Quite pathetically hypocritical and completely intellectually bereft.
If the female posters here represent the "professionals" charged with finding a way to solve this problem, it's no bloody wonder we're getting nowhere fast."

"Silly Suzie."

"Do let me know if you're having trouble with the maths, won't you?"

"As long as we have people like silly Suzie trying to distort the picture,"

"Silly sausage..."

"It must be wonderful to have these "principles" that others need to pay the price for."

"You're not very clever, are you?"

No wonder you guys feel the way you do about women. You obviously get your kicks from putting them down. Does all this make you feel better about yourselves then?

At the end of the day, there will never be any doubt that men perpetrate most of the serious violence-related damage both to themselves and to women. Did you read the links Pynchme put up guys?
No, of course not.
Posted by suzeonline, Saturday, 6 February 2010 2:29:42 PM
Find out more about this user Recommend this comment for deletion Return to top of page Return to Forum Main Page Copy comment URL to clipboard
Benk: I already pointed to the research that only about 30% of people who have experienced DV take out an AVO. Your statements about people being less thin skinned are cold comfort to people who are victimized by family violence.

G'day Suzie: Thanks for coming by and for posting your insightful summary. Antiseptic has pointed out that it's women who mostly seek divorce. These blokes never ask themselves what happens between the time that a woman loves a person enough to make a commitment and the time that they just want to get away from them.

I am sure they'll come back with the notion that it's financially advantageous for women to take a bloke for all he has. However, research shows repeatedly that women don't gain financially from divorce, especially when she is the resident parent of any children.
Also, few women marrying these days need a meal ticket because they have their own career prospects.

These women love men or they wouldn't want to share their lives with one in the first place. Presumably in some sense these men love women. They certainly can't hate them too much or they wouldn't be tying themselves in knots trying to work out how to forcibly stop or coerce women into staying with them. It's all a bit of a dark version of Pepe-le-Pew.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hBFEObtQdM&feature=related

I think it's time for some of these blokes to have a good long think about what it is they do or what attitudes they hold that drive people away from them
Posted by Pynchme, Saturday, 6 February 2010 8:53:30 PM
Find out more about this user Recommend this comment for deletion Return to top of page Return to Forum Main Page Copy comment URL to clipboard
Silly Suzie...

Pynchme, you've still to answer the simple question: "why does her "feeling" carry more weight than his action?" after all, you've already established that you don't regard your own "feeling" as important.

I think we can take it from the rather hateful spew in that last post that you find that one a bit tough.

Pynchme:"These blokes never ask themselves what happens between the time that a woman loves a person enough to make a commitment and the time that they just want to get away from them"

Oh dear Dear, you're not much good at the human relationships stuff, are you?

Pynchme:"These women love men or they wouldn't want to share their lives with one in the first place. Presumably in some sense these men love women."

LMAO. The men are in it only because love pussy, (except yours and Suzie's hubbies, obviously; just what IS in it for them, I wonder), while the women have only the noblest of motives. You should write fairy stories. My mate has just discovered his GF is pregnant at 40, when their relationship has been foundering a little. Third child, third father...

pynchme:"they wouldn't be tying themselves in knots trying to work out how to forcibly stop or coerce women into staying with them"

That's even better. I bet you've never had someone try to coerce you into staying with them. The bum's rush, OTOH, I'm sure you have a passing familiarity with.

While I know you don't like to think, have a little go at these: what do you reckon is the rate of unemployment in this country? What do you reckon it is among divorced fathers? What about among divorced mothers?

Keep milking that bull, hon...
Posted by Antiseptic, Sunday, 7 February 2010 5:30:55 AM
Find out more about this user Recommend this comment for deletion Return to top of page Return to Forum Main Page Copy comment URL to clipboard
Suze

So you feel that Pynchme and yourself are being bullied. I cannot see why. Antiseptic’s condescending little swipes (though un-necessary) are no harsher than many of the things that you have written, especially criticising him over his marriage break-up. Perhaps you are one of these dinosaurs, who thinks that women need a higher level of protection. Times have changed. Men have changed. Women have changed. You need to change.

Pynchme

“ I already pointed to the research that only about 30% of people who have experienced DV take out an AVO.” But how was violence defined? Some researchers have used awfully low thresholds.

“Antiseptic has pointed out that it's women who mostly seek divorce.” Traditionally they have been able to leave him but keep the kids. Walking out on a spouse is a lot easier than walking away from your kids. Additionally, men tend to leave relationships by sabotaging them. Some women have a hard time letting their men go.

I still maintain that I have sympathy for genuine victims of DV. I just don’t think that widespread misuse of AVOs and spreading misunderstandings help. The stereotype of men bashing women because they feel like it and to control her has been shown to be inaccurate. People need to know how some couples turn disagreements into violent arguements. Demonising men and treating women as innocent little victims isn’t moving us closer to a resolution.
Posted by benk, Sunday, 7 February 2010 12:57:29 PM
Find out more about this user Recommend this comment for deletion Return to top of page Return to Forum Main Page Copy comment URL to clipboard
'Septic, I wouldn't consider a response to your' last delightful post is necessary. Have a wonderful day now won't you.

Benk, thanks at least for recognizing that 'Septic's 'little swipes' are un-necessary at times. I thought you seemed the more human poster of the two!

I can't remember ever criticizing him over his marriage breakup though? If you can find proof of that, I will stand corrected.
I wouldn't bother commenting on other people's relationship problems unless I had both sides of the story.

Benk <" Perhaps you are one of these dinosaurs, who thinks that women need a higher level of protection. Times have changed. Men have changed. Women have changed. You need to change."

I am no dinosaur Benk, I am a realist. I agree that times have changed , as have men and women.
No longer will most women in violent situations put up with physical abuse just to keep their family together.

The modern woman has choices now. They don't have to stay with someone they fear or don't love anymore because they wouldn't be able to manage financially alone.

Unfortunately, many men today can't tolerate this fact, because they would rather live back in the 'good old days' when it was very difficult for women to leave a marriage.

Benk<" The stereotype of men bashing women because they feel like it and to control her has been shown to be inaccurate."

Where did you get this little gem from? Yes, it is very much a control issue with many men. and some women too.

Of course not ALL men want to bash or control women, but the ones who do become physically violent are definitely showing their strength and control over her.
At the end of the day, men will always be physically stronger.

The problem with this thread has been that some posters have taken the 'she left me and now all women are conniving cows' stance and forgotten that this thread is about PHYSICAL ABUSE in relationships.
Posted by suzeonline, Sunday, 7 February 2010 11:59:13 PM
Find out more about this user Recommend this comment for deletion Return to top of page Return to Forum Main Page Copy comment URL to clipboard
  1. Pages:
  2. 1
  3. 2
  4. 3
  5. ...
  6. 8
  7. 9
  8. 10
  9. Page 11
  10. 12
  11. All

About Us :: Search :: Discuss :: Feedback :: Legals :: Privacy