Hi All, If I have posted this in the wrong thread sorry in advanced.

Just had what turned into a heated discussion with the missus and anyway, I thought I might get some opinions or perhaps some reliable statistics.

My wife has a couple of freinds going through custody battles and was complaining about how judges take favour of the male and proving a male is physically hurting children is very hard. For the record these 2 freinds of hers did have physical violence in their relationships.

MISTAKE #1: I suggested that judges see 100s of cases a month and most arguments resort to any lies being spun by either party.

She then suggested most relationship breakups are the fault of the men.

MISTAKE #2: (Mistake getting bigger) I suggested there are many grounds for divorce and it not always the male fault. She is only relying on her circle of freinds plus there are always 2 sides of a story to a divorce.

My wife then claims 30% of relationships involved the husband bashing the wife and/or kids and most divorces are due to physical violence.

MISTAKE #3: (Big mistake this time). Well I find that figure hard to believe and I would suggest the figure would be well below 10%. Oh and I accused her of being narrow minded and anti-male.

Anyway I am a sexist male (so I just got told). Can anyone point me to reliable statistics on this subject.

I would love to go back to my wife with some raw stats in my favour, even though she is unlikely to listen

Oh, and I dont want to sleep on the lounge everynight.

Cheers
H

Here you go. The just-released AIHW report into child abuse and neglect: http://www.aihw.gov.au/publications/index.cfm/title/10859

The vast majority of abuse and neglect of children is perpetrated by their mother, according to both that document and other figures released by State agencies.

The ABS Personal Safety survey: http://www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/abs@.nsf/PrimaryMainFeatures/4906.0?OpenDocument

from that report:"In the 12 months prior to the survey, there were an estimated 443,800 (5.8%) women who experienced an incident of violence compared to 808,300 (11%) men."

and: "During the 12 months prior to the survey 1.6% (126,100) of women and 0.6% (46,700) of men experienced an incident of sexual violence."

OTOH, your wife is quite right to say that most women going through contested custody matters try to claim that the father was violent. The CJ of the Family Court, Diana Bryant, has recently called for the Family Law to be changed so that claims of violence may be properly examined by the Court. She made the point that over 50% of contested matters contain violence allegations, but that these rarely figure in the final orders sought, leading to the conclusion that they are probably spurious.

http://www.theaustralian.com.au/business/legal-affairs/family-court-in-the-dark-over-violence-says-judge-diana-bryant/story-e6frg97x-1225793355227

There is a great deal of misinformation peddled by single-mothers' advocates and by the Family Law industry, especially the ambulance-chasing Legal Aid lawyers who are so often involved in these sorts of matters. Their funding depends on the situation being "intractable" so they do whatever it takes to exacerbate the interpersonal conflicts that exist.

I hope your wife doesn't get too violent: making you sleep on the couch is a classic "controlling behaviour" used by women. Under the current definitions it is regarded as violent.

henyak,
Judging by your lines I'd suggest you look for a new wife. A woman, correction female, with this mentality will cause you grief for good.
btw she's not a teacher by any chance is she ?

henyak,
in my experience it's the hardest thing in the world to end a relationship. It sounds like the misses is making strong hints to me. There's nothing quite so liberating and empowering as ending a relationship!
I don't know the stats, but then stat's don't tell you a damn thing about individuals anyway. Take a walk around Australia, or read Montaigne, or both.
You're a long time dead, ol son!

henyak,

Not all women are like that - it was and is, your choice.

Well, divorce is a bit radical over a spat.

I like men probably because my father was poster man for perfect Dad and Husband. If a women has a more negative image perhaps she had a negative experience as a child.

Why not explore how she came about this negative attitude.

Women can be cows, me included but I treat The Mr with total respect, as he does me, because we are best mates forever. Tell her this is how you expect a relationship to be, and it is concerning she stereotypes males.