I am so bored, kids all sleeping like wee angels, horrid teenage daughter gone out, other teenage daughter (don’t even ask how I acquired another one) gone to bed, nothing on foxtel.

So says me to me, check out OLO, go learn something.

You crappy buggers, you all have interesting lives dontcha.

Master… at night in the country I remember the noise, noisier than the city at night. First time I heard a fox caught in a trap in the Oz country side I was lying in bed horrified… scared the crap outta me, sounded like a kid screaming. Next day I learnt to skin it. I can skin foxes, roos, sheep, goats, rabbits.

I spent weeks tawdening (some poison) trees when I was 21. And I spent days walking a river to spray burs. Once I crossed the river to spray some and looked up and there was all these long horned feral cattle just standing there, they let me retreat. A big red got scared out of the bush once and missed me by a hair, Yeah I screamed.

Oh the worst time was de-horning cattle and I was on the crush… got covered in blood and by the end of the day I was covered in fly eggs. My aunt and uncle raised a variety of cattle but they had a Brahman bull called Fonzy. The wanka gave me no end of hassels… on a narrow path once with a sheer drop on one side and a straight up wall on the other he decided he didn’t want me to move his cows and tried to turn them all back. I ended up sending the working dogs home and using the house dogs (corgis) – the battle lasted all day. Not as bad as those babysitting cows – especially the Aberdeen angus.

The house cow was a jersey, she hated me with a passion, this saved her life once chasing me out of a bush fire.

Me and my cousin used to run through a field of stinging nettle in shorts for fun. No foxtel.

[smile]

Jeweley, sounds like you're a country girl at heart. You're right though about the "noise" at night; most city slickers who have never lived out here think it's quiet at night in the scrub , but what do they know. There's been quite a bit of distant night noise here the past year or so. We've tried something new - - - - - donkeys. Yes, donkeys. Wild dogs have been killing stock, and we've lost quite a few. In money terms it's over $50,000 lost. We read where donkeys were tried on a Queensland property, and my cousin's family also tried 'em on their property in Vic. The donkeys attack and scare the dogs and thus protect the stock. So in the far distance, many nights we hear the combined night noise of the blood curdling yelping of the dogs and the donkey sounds when confronting the dogs. Donkeys are robust and quite smart creatures, and we even have a donkey "house pet".Future inventories should tell whether the donkey idea has worked, but there's no reason it won't work as it's been successful elsewhere. We're keeping our fingers crossed. But I'm pretty much out of the picture these days - - - - too bloody frail, so I just sit on the veranda and tell everybody how to do things right. You wouldn't want to be dead for quids, and you wouldn't want to live in a city for quids either.

Master/philips/JW/SallyG/TZ52HX/....+whatever other sock puppet aliases you have, "Future inventories should tell whether the donkey idea has worked..."

What a lying old tosser you are girl, as if any property owner who has recently lost "$50,000" in stock 'would have to wait' in his squatters chair on the verandah to find out through "future inventories" what effect attempted control has had. Or will you claim that all of yours were stud rams?

What absolute BS. In sheep country (and unusually for a farmer you don't mention what stock you run), that is 500 lambs and that is probably overestimating their value. For goodness sakes the evidence would be all around you and inescapable if there is no change. Not to mention the effect on your (obviously non-existent) working dogs. Anyhow, what negligent fool of a farmer would allow the numbers to build up to 500 in the first place?

It is your fantasy world like your previous concocted stories isn't it? Y'know, cobbled together from your imagination and the internet. Like your infamous university degree that has never materialised. Oh and your BS claim you were at Scotch College, Melbourne - your veiled wording referred to 'an association'. What a joke.

Anyway, how is that obese husband of yours going? Come to think about it you are probably somewhat large yourself if you are having trouble walking and just sit on the 'veranda' (sic), doubtless watching your suburban neighbours put out their refuse.

Still acting for C J I see, wasn't it he who vowed to update the footballer list?

Oh drats! I've been found out. I'm so ashamed. I guess I really am that twisted femminazi Docs official after all, just here under all those aliases in order to "get" Cornflower and Antiwomen.

Yes, Antiwomen is right, he embarrassed and shamed me so much at Docs that I was left no alternative other than to register here, pretend to be a pastoralist, and do my best to "get" him. After of course, having registered here under many other names previously in an ongoing campaign of vilification against Antiwomen and "men".

Hmmm, I wonder how I knew Antiwomen here was the person I dealt with at Docs, and how did I know he was on this specific site in the first place? Oh dear, questions, questions, questions; let's not worry about such trivialities.

Oh no, it's all a terrible CONSPIRACY, and damn it, now Cornflower has seen through my thin disguise. Yes, Cornflower may even have had dealings with that exact same Docs official - - - - funny about that!

Keep up the good work boys. What great detective work!

Nudge nudge, wink wink!

The donkey thing is such a cool idea… I read not long ago about wild donkey culls so very cool to have a good use for them. Do you like get them de-sexed before releasing them and stuff? My neighbor had donkeys once (on the edge of a town) and damned things kept parking up in my children’s sandpit.

Hey and once while cleaning the windows I saw two of my neighbors’ teeth get kicked out by his pet so you be careful.

I did have half an acre in Upper Hutt (NZ, North Island) and back then I had a goat, pig, chickens, geese, turkey, ducks, 3 poodles. Great for the foster kids and they always connected with animals before people. Now I have two poodles and two chickens on a postage stamp, it’s just not the same.

Is it nice? Sitting on a veranda in a family home of three generations? I am green with envy, although I do a lot of telling everyone what to do all day I like the thought of doing it from a country home. I don’t believe your frail though.[smile] I’ll find out one day in my campervan and come sit with you and we can boss everyone.

Master (or whoever you are)

What a strange farmer oops, "pastoralist" ;) you are that the last thing you will talk about is your stock and your husbandry of same. Never encountered a country person who didn't gladly leap into detailed discussion of the farm.

Come to think of it, why would a large "pastoralist" like yourself with $50000 recent losses of stock be on OLO up to his ears in what you describe as an "ongoing campaign of vilification against Antiwomen and 'men'"? Then you declare it is all so difficult that you have taken to your chair on your porch awaiting "future inventories" of stock losses, while ".. in the far distance, many nights we hear the combined night noise of the blood curdling yelping of the dogs and the donkey sounds when confronting the dogs..".

BS, with losses like that there would be a co-ordinated effort: meetings of neighbours, 1080 drops, dog cullers and a whole raft of initiatives. Yet you simply released some donkeys and hoped for the best??

None of it adds up does it? Want to change your story and add something? You usually do and I have very helpfully given you some tips (yet again).