Houellebecq:"I can imagine you getting into lots of pub fights over accidental spilling of drinks and walking around yelling 'what are yo looking at!'"

I'm sure you can imagine all sorts of things. Well done, you.

'"Male thinking that sex begins and ends with a
waving appendage is so limiting and unimaginative..."'

Yes Foxy, but for every man that thinks like that, there is a woman who thinks that sex begins and ends by making like a starfish. (not a chocolate one).

Foxy I wouldn't avoid smiley faces if I were you, otherwise I would find your posts identical in style to Cols:-)

Antiseptic,

As Leyton would say, C'mon!

Fractelle,

'Why don't you just masturbate like any normal person does when horny, doesn't matter if the other half is there or not, sometimes you just gotta relax.'

Any normal Non-Catholic person? That reminds me of American Beauty when he lies in the bed next to his wife jacking off. It didn't go down well. Some (ie SOME) chicks are offended that a man be allowed to please himself,( or have any fun at all really) without her say so:-)

I did have a brief relationship with a girl who forbid me from ever doing that, as she said that was her job. A demarcation dispute. Hard (or stupid really) to argue against that.

BTW: I hope people noticed the use of 'hard', and 'go down'. Channelling Beavis and Buthead.

*I'm not
saying that sex is unimportant in a relationship,
all I'm saying is that there's more to a relationship
then sex.*

Foxy,nobody has denied that, so you are arguing with yourself :)

The point that is being made is that if there is no sex in
a relationship, then in most cases what you have left is
a friendship. No need to get married in the first place.

I'd be surprised if you have read Bettina's latest book, for
it has only be published for a few weeks. You are free to
shoot the messenger of course, but her findings are based
on what many other people think, that is exactly the point.
She is highlighting what is happening in today's community,
not in past communities. She is clearly far more in touch
with peoples views on sex and relationships, then you are.

Yes, she is a sex therapist, but when she was editor of
Forum magazine, she covered all aspects of relationships,
not just sex.

CJ, if you check my post, the second and third lot of
comments were made to Examinator, I did name him at the
start of them.

Your original post that your first wife's lack of libido
was an issue for you and future males in her life,
were fairly clear. That was clearly at the core of
the problem, however much you now try to rationalise
it away.

Well known anthropologist Helen Fisher, who specialises
in this field, might disgagree with you. She thinks that
serial monogomy was part of our genetic past, not marriage
for life as now.

If pairbonding played no role, there would be no reason
for genes to code for it. We would simply do what chimps
and bonobos have been observed to do, ie swap sex for
resources

H

I remember one time unintentionally embarrassing a boyfriend I was living with in Phoenix (he was a lot more 'straightlaced' than me. I had just left him at the condo to go to work and realised I had forgotten my uniform (waitering) and opened the door and there he was spread-eagled on the bed with his fave mens mag. I thought it was hilarious. We all like a bit of a variety, jerking-off to a T&A mag is hardly being unfaithful, we had a great sex life. I was able to tell him I had the occasional self-session when he wasn't around as well. Sometimes Mr/Ms Hand is all you need. Man he was sooo embarrassed, the doofus.

I could never get involved with someone who has weird inflexible "me tarzan you jane" sex lives. Although I do believe in monogamy - serial that is, other wise life can just get too complicated.

Pericles: To quote the God-botherers, "Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa"!
That post of mine was a response to Examinator, but I stuck your name on it by mistake, lol, put it down to me working three jobs.
Mine fingeren were faster than mine gerthinking-lumpen. Which was on a coffee-break. OOPS.

Dear Houellebecq,

My posts identical in style to Col's?

Now you're simply stirring ...
and this time I'm not going to bite :)

Dear Yabby,

I totally agree with you.

If there is no sex in a relationship then
of course the relationship is purely platonic.

That's not what any of us were saying.
It seems that you've misunderstood
what I was trying to say. Perhaps you
should go back and re-read some of my
posts.

I don't doubt that Bettina Arndt is a
qualified sex therapist. However, she's
not qualified to speak on behalf of people
who's experiences differ from the ones she's
researched. As I've stated earlier -
generalisations don't account for individual
experience. She can speak about some of the problems
that she encounters in her work. But she can't infer
that we all have those problems.

That's the point that was being made.