We see in another thread parents blamed for the actions of a 15 year old clearly room to debate there.
But every day we see drowned children, kids run over by the family car in the drive way is that the parents fault? ever?
Just watching a mum talking away while blindly pushing bub on to a pedestrian crossing in front of a car without looking?
Or driving in a street and seeing a beaut young child no more than 2 or 3 walking alone in a street full of traffic chills me.
A cloths peg holding the swimming pool gate for easy opening.
And that most dreadful thought expressed after such a death+we never thought it could happen to us, that type of thing only happens to others+
Yes sometimes parents clearly are to blame.

Dear Belly,

If you followed mothers and their children around
all day long, you'd discover that many of them spend a
fair amount of time actually telling their children
what not to do. As you pointed out there are many
danger situations especially for a pre-school child.

Such things as crossing a street, fires, boiling water,
sharp knives, and poisons, et cetera.

Of course parents try to protect their children as much
as they can - and they also try to teach them discipline
and self-regulation, while at the same time trying to ensure
that their methods of discipline don't eliminate that vital
and dynamic quality which makes children act like children.

Parents aren't perfect. They often make mistakes.
They don't always get it right.
However if parents use, with love, their parenting skills, they
will do the most important thing to insure their children's
growing up to be psychologically secure. They will
with their love and guidance ensure that their
children grow into peaceful adults,
instead of violent and hostile persons.

Is it ever the parents fault when things go wrong?
I can't answer that Belly. It depends on the situation
and the type of parent. As we all know - there are as
many different styles of parenting as there are people.
And I would assume that yes, in certain instances -
the parents would have to take responsibility.

Each child is unique, as are the parents,
and the situations in which they find themselves.

I hope this makes sense.

And, that I'm not just raving on here...

Belly, as a parent I believe its always my fault. For good or ill, my child is my responsibility.

So what does a good parent do? They bring up a child trying to avoid all the physical hazards that life throws up. They teach their child about the dangers of the world (and how to avoid them) while encouraging the child to take (sensible) risks in pursuit of achievement. They teach their child to be well-mannered but assertive, kind-hearted bur realistic, hard-working but carefree. And if you have a second child, it starts all over again, but you're still trying to bring up the first. Its a complex, exhausting and fraught business.

One of my uncles used to say "Parenting is the hardest work I've ever done. I gave it my best shot, but I don't think I did a very good job." I don't think any of us do a very good job. We just do the best we can. And when disaster strikes some other family, I think "there, but for the grace of God go I."

I don't think you can blame the parent in most cases as most deaths of children are just plain accidents.

What is not an acciedent is when a parent of a minior has no idea where their child is at 9pm. That is no accident, that a a failure of ones responibility, a flaw in thier 'duty of care' one might say.

As the farther of 2 children, now 19 ans 17, I can tell you that as parent, both my wife and I knew exactly where they were at all times and up until they reached 16 they were not allowed out at night unless they were with a responsible adult. Even then they had very strick rules to obide by or they would be grounded.

Call us old fashion if you wish, but believe me, they appreciate it in the end.

Responsoble parenting is no accident, it is very hard work, work made even harder as more and more parents today allow thier children to become unruley.

I understand the trials of parenting, as I have said being the oldest of a very big family helped me learn that.
Bringing the last 5 of my siblings up after dads very early death added to my learning.
Then 5 of my siblings kids dumped on my mum and me too.
However not every parent, surely that is easy to see? does a good job.
Yes take your eyes of them for a second and tragic things can happen, kids will be kids.
But how does a little girl under 3 find her way out to the street?
We used child proof gates and minders who knew they had our family jewels in care.
Those drowning deaths? could it always be just bad luck?
See its not, some parents are not watching, how can we look at the daily sight of mum actualy pushing that pram or stroller on to a pedestrian crossing without looking?
Would you walk in front of a car?
Parenting? yes its no easy job but we must understand some mothers do not do it well, some often remind us every time a youth gets in trouble.
That is often wrong ,like the 15 year old in that other thread his dad is dead his mum called the police who killed him its mad to blame her.
But sadly truly,some mothers need to do better.

Belly,
Agreed, Many parents are not as caring as they make out to be when something goes wrong. For example, the kid that unfortunately was shot by police. His mother was saying what a good kid he was, but she allowed him to leave the house in a rage after an argument, it has been said he was a member of a neo-nazi group and his favourite drink was bundy and coke. I do not know how correct that is but what 'good' parent would allow a 15 year old to drink bundy and coke and be a member of an extreme group.

A while ago the was a thread here about a 14 year old girl being taken to a doctor by her school nurse and being prescribed the 'pil' without her parents knowledge or approval. This is legal and it makes me wonder how 'good' parents supervise their kids. Some posters on the thread said it is not unknown for girls to be menstruating and their parents have not had discussion about that, or sex, with the girl. To me that is unbelievable and I guess the boys get no information either.

How come you can see groups of kids hanging around shopping malls well after dark and regularly it is reported that kids are left in a car while parents are gambling or out drinking.

Any time one goes out one can see examples of parents without control of their kids and the kids just do what ever.

Sometimes I think there should be courses for parents, other than intercourse.