Belly,
Absolutely, for the sake of sanity (yours) you need to differentiate between genuine acts of 'god' fate or more colloquially put 'excretia happens' rather than always looking for blame.

I find it pointless to judge blame without also understanding the circumstances (CONTEXT) in which the event took place. If for example a child drowned because a mother had ‘pegged’ the pool gate open then in the absence of other evidence she was negligent in that she knew better.

Are parents responsible for the outcome of their children? Within certain or specific conditions the answer is possibly yes but again it depends on …you guessed it… Context.

I think the song ‘the cat’s in the cradle’ says it all. To me that song has always been a salutary warning to me.

The question of culpability in a situation also depends on circumstances. If the parent(s) allow their child to roam at night at say 7-8 then trying to discipline at 14-15 is a pointless exercise. If the child then is involved in violent crime then clearly the parent(s) are responsible morally but the question of culpability is less clear.

Likewise a child kept in an environment of a strict stifling authoritarian environment (including a rigid religious one) one can expect problems once the real world collides. I can’t count the number of cases I dealt with where the primary problem was a too strict or restrictive family. First generation migrant children often have identity problems which if not handled carefully can and do turn socially toxic.Was the father of the Boxing family responsible and culpable for what happened? the courts and I think he was. He knew better but ingnored the probable consequences.

Short answer, is yes but it depends

Examinator you need not concern your self with my sanity.
A bit more balance from you could be an improvement.
Banjo, have you ever tried to control a 15 year old who is determined not to be controlled?
Remember before you answer 3 police officers could not do it.
We humans in every thing we under take get it wrong some times, parenting is often a place some fail, most posts here say so.
After a death, sometimes needless death, we group around the surviving parents, good people do.
But in the quite of your own home have you ever thought that should not have happened.
Act of GOD? no please what rot.
Some are far better parents than others, once mothers and fathers had much better teaching about parenting skills.
If we hide our heads in the sand how can we ever fix this problem?
We never thought it would happen to us, or an act of God is hiding the brain from the light of day.

When I bought this property, I only looked at places 20Km or more, out of town. When My kids wanted to go anywhere they needed transport, at least until they had a drivers licence, & then they needed car keys.

It ment a lot of miles, for their mother, & me, & a lot of sitting around football, cricket, or athletics training, or competition, but was worth it every time.

The few local kids got together to work their horses, or to play cricket, & were all "good" kids.

Later chores would earn a trip somewhere they wanted to go, or some petrol for the paddock basher.

I am very glad my kids could not walk into town, so we always knew where they were. It would have been much harder, if they had had access to some of the town kids, before they had learned when to say no.

Belly
Apologies, my communicating skills have failed me.
I was being balanced in essence I said that it is the circumstances that determine if the parent is responsible or not. There is never any black or white answer as in one size fits all.

I can’t comment on specifically on the circumstances or child as I don’t know either and therefore would be unwise and gratuitous to offer an opinion. All I can reasonably do is talk in generalities. The situation is the nightmare of all children.

I was offering the only practical advice I can. Is that in most situations apportioning blame is as counter productive activity is a self defeating activity what is needed is calm rational solutions (plan of action) . The objective should be “what do we do now to avoid a repeat performance?” As a matter of fact we had a son who threatened suicide about that age. We were stunned we applied the above principals and we still have difficulties with the son but he’s now 25.

In some instance it is better to HELP the child face the consequences of his/her actions than protecting them from it. Difficult, true but all the screaming, recriminations etc won’t help, if anything will aggravate the under lying problem (what ever that is).
It is times like this that parenthood seems at its worst. But if it improves or gets worse will depend largely on the parent’s wisdom and patience.
Conclusion: I make NO inference of blame/Responsibility.

Dear Belly,

I'm just tiptoeing into this thread one more
time to wish you and yours, All the Joys of
The Season, and hoping to share more time
with you in cyber space next year, 2009.
May the New Year be a good one for us all.

Dear examinator,

It's been a sheer pleasure sharing time with you
on this Forum. I wish you and yours, all the Joys
of this Festive Season, and much Health and Happiness
in the New Year 2009.

"Take one dream. Dream it in detail. Put it into
your own hands. See its final outcome clearly in
your mind. Then mix it with a little effort and add
a generous portion of self-discipline. Flavour it
with a wholesome pinch of ambition. Stir briskly
with confidence until the mixture becomes clear,
the doubt separated from the resolution.

Then bake at an even temperature in a moderate mind
until the dream rises and is firm to the touch.
Decorate with individuality. Cut into generous
portions and serve with justifiable pride.

Approached in this manner, life is a piece of cake."

A Merry Mistress and a Happy All Year
Everyone...

All The Best,

Belly,
The point I was making is that there are many instances where parents are, or partly, to blame for injuries and bad things happening to their children. Sure there are other instances where no one is to blame. e.g. A limb suddenly falls from a tree, but these days it is likely that the parents will endeavour to blame someone for that.

I have seen two women with strollers from opposite directions meet on a pedestrian crossing and stop for a talk. Once I was having a go at a high school teacher about the kids lack of disipline and he said to me "Mate its too late when we get them and what can you do when parents give a 14 year old a bottle of Buorbon and a carton of smokes for his birthday". If an under age kid is having sex then changes should be made to the supervision he/she gets. How many kids are not taught water safety skills? Parents find time for their own pastimes but dont take the kid to the local pool or surf club for instruction.

Of course there are parents that do the right thing by their kids, but many do not and I know you cant wrap them in cotton wool.

Far too many people talk about their 'rights' these days but few are willing to face their 'responsibilities'