I'd like to get some discussion going on ways to address some of the issues associated with child residency following relationship breakups. I'd like a discussion where different perspectives can be aired without abuse, where issues are raised and potential solutions aired rather than rants by anybody unwilling to consider the other side of the issue - please. I'd prefer to focus the discussion on the middle ground rather than the extreme cases - those cases need to be dealt with but they are not the whole picture.

Much of what I expect to write will be about the finances because this is an area where the government takes a very active role and which policy can be effective, other aspects are less easy to manage.

To open the discussion I propose that "Child Support" adds to the harm suffered by children following seperation as it forces the parents to continue to be involved in each others financial affairs with a resultant perpetuation of conflict.

Estimates of income are provided to the other parent without consent and during the assessment process significant detail must be disclosed. Payers are held accountable for career decisions of the payee over which they have no control. Payee's get bitter as they see former partners hiding income to reduce obligations. Contact with payer parents is limited in some cases to keep it within a child support zone and maximise child support paid.

The child support agency is not allowed to take account of the circumstances which lead to a particular residency arrangement. Someone abandoned by a former partner gets no more than someone who has fought tooth and nail to get the residency from another parent who loves their children.

My current thinking is that if both parents are willing to have the care of their children each parent should be responsible for the costs associated with their children when the children are in their care. If that is to hard then the other parent should have the opportunity to take on more care (and associated cost).

R0bert

OOOh I'm running late, but wanted to provide links to services for dads.

First an article called fatherly advice:

http://www.theage.com.au/news/in-depth/fatherly-advice/2006/08/30/1156816967623.html

services:

www.beingdad.com.au
www.goodbeginnings.net.au

I hope they work 'cos

www.mensline.org.au

doesn't.

Bye

Scout, thanks. The links do work. The discussion topic does not seem to have attracted any interest so useful links might be a worthwhile alternative.

The Australian Governments Families Portal
http://www.families.gov.au/Internet/famport/famport.nsf/WEB+Portal?OpenForm

Queensland Government Families Links
http://www.communities.qld.gov.au/family/familiesfirst/links/general_links.html

Some links to research papers on families
http://www.facs.gov.au/internet/facsinternet.nsf/aboutfacs/programs/families-ResearchPapers.htm

Child protection info
http://www.aifs.gov.au/nch/info.html

Federal Magistrates Court
http://www.fmc.gov.au/

R0bert

R0bert

I don't understand why, given that so many want to have a whinge if any articles are posted by women about equality - there seems to be a plethora of disgruntled men with an axe to wield.

Yet, here you have provided a place where they could discuss their problems and experiences in fathering and zip, nada, nothing.

Not, that I'm suggesting these concerned fathers are more interested in denigrating women, but.........

What I have learned from general discussion threads:

"manly" men aren't interested in improving their parenting responsibilities

and

religious aren't interested in animal welfare.

I confess, I am being deliberately facetious, but have to admit to being completely gob-smacked by lack of interest.

Maybe its just the limited demographic of OLO posters?

Scout, I'm surprised as well.

I had hoped to get something going where we could discuss constructive approaches to some of the issues, similar to what you seem to be trying to do with the animal treatment issue.

I do suspect that the General page is not being widely used yet, many of the regulars don't seem to be obvious by their presence.

It is nice to have the opportunity to float topics for discussion.
I recall some time ago issuing a challenge to BD to write an article about aspects of christainity that seemed to be causing a lot of off topic posts and he declined because of the cost of getting one on OLO. Maybe now he'll take up the challenge. I'll have to dig around and find it and try again.

R0bert

Yeah, okay, I'll bite, but no one's going to like what I say.

Firstly a declaration. I've never had any personal dealings with Family Court or child support, so I don't really feel equipped to discuss the matter with any authority. However, having been active for some time in the business of injustices to men, I've had a bit to do with the periphery of the fatherhood movement. In a word, I found their troubles and there plight overwhelming. I found that they are so involved with their own problems that they fail to see the big picture affecting men today and most don't really want to try to understand it.

Besides, there's plenty of good organisations dealing with that specialisation and they now seem to be getting some action for themselves so I don't mess with their business. I do however involve myself with their cause and fight their battles with them if they need help.

Now on to your initial post RObert. There's simply nothing in it to disagree with from my point of view. You've said it all. What more do you want me to say? So I don't engage. Just like I don't engage in a lot of conversations and topics on OLO.

The ones who are missing from this thread are the women who instigate the misery. They're silent. They know they've got a lot to answer for with respect to this subject and like guilty little children, they stay quiet, hoping you won't notice them.

In the meantime, all that you discuss, is being reformed slowly at this point in time with the Family Law and CSA overhauls. A world first by the way and everybody's waiting to see what happens. Will it get better? Who knows?

Are we harming kids? Of course we are. All you people with kids who are now divorced have ripped their little hearts out. You've rained on their birthday cake. They're going to be underconfident in relationships and lack trust for the rest of their lives. The harm is done and can't be undone. The wheel is bent.