Maximus, thanks for the response. It is nice to know that someone agrees with me on that idea. It's a long way from current policy.

In your travels on the fringes of this stuff have you spotted other changes which you think might lead to a less damaging system?

I'd also like to see residency default to the parent who stays in the area where the couple was living before seperation if one parent decides to move away from the area (subject to no substantiated ongoing violence etc).

I've heard of too many cases where someone has forced the residency issue by moving away from the other parent (I've been on the end of that one myself) making shared parenting difficult or impossible. Often the move seems to be a sea change to an area with few employment opportunities.

R0bert

Children and family's are being sold out by the tens of thousands for the good old mighty dollar, The divorce rate is driven by each individual state as they seek to limit the time a non-custodial parent can spend with there children. In the united states it is the only place where a parent can go from a full time parent to a part time visitor in the blink of an eye and a stroke of a pen. How many really understand the motivation of the family courts.

Did you know there is in fact a bounty put on the heads of our children, Rest assured its real, The family courts in the united states is broke like a train wreck and it is on a crash course with the best interest of OUR children and there futures.

(THE MIGHTY DOLLAR) That is created out of federal funding has become a very lucrative business for each and every individual state also referred to as welfare reform (Commonly Referred to as Title 4D) while the political figures smoke the truth with BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD.

WHAT CAN WE DO, Rest assured the wheels are in motion, on 09/01/2006 A complaint was filed (FEDERAL LEVEL) With the inspector General in Washington DC, On 09/01/2006 I did receive a referral from the IG,s Office to the United States Department of Justice ( Civil Rights Division). Being in most divorce cases the civil and constitutional rights of BOTH parents involved in divorce proceedings are being trampled on by the abuse that runs far and wide in the Judicial system. The discretion must be removed and accountability put in place.

I will let the News Story's that have been done over the last 11 months speak for them selves as I will place a few links to ABC,NBC & CBS News story's, I as well have created a spot of gathering for people from all across the united states. Even though I reside in Michigan every one knows this is a national problem.

News Story,s

http://abclocal.go.com/wjrt/story?sectionfiltered=local&id=4181556

http://abclocal.go.com/wjrt/story?sectionfiltered=local&id=4019070

http://abclocal.go.com/wjrt/story?sectionfiltered=local&id=4032997




Petition can be found at
www.fixthefoc.com

RObert, Scout, not following you ;) but I thought this was an interesting topic that I don't know much about, so atm I'm reading all of your links you provided.

Maximus I also agree with you.

I agree that divorce always is upsetting for kids, and should be the last resort.
Sometimes one can't win- when staying together is like living between two fires for a kid. Awww the poor little cuties.

I also agree that men sometimes get a bad deal, things for them are just a tough and sometimes tougher than for women.

Also a question- but perhaps the answer will be in one of your links: when you file for divorce, do you have to submit a parenting plan at the same time? Or is that not done in Australia?

Sorry for my ignorance- I have no divorced friends with kids so never really talked about it with anyone.

I'm off to read the articles now- these were just a few words that I am interested but had not much time to read this yet. Great topic.

Celivia, welcome. I'm glad to hear that you and your friends have managed to avoid putting kids through the turmoil of divorce. I hope it is better for kids than living in a home of constant fighting but a happy home is far and away a better deal for all concerned.

While I have the strong impression that men get a worse deal in the current system than women I don't think that is a universal truth, I know enough women that have been done over fairly effectively as well. My impression is that the system is set up to let the most unscrupulous win but that the support services are targetted to women.

I am hoping to keep the thread focussed on what we can do to minimise the harm to children when breakups do occur. My first point was based on the idea that the current child support system prolongs the bitterness and conflict between parents.

I don't know if recent changes require a parenting plan. When my divorce went through we had consent orders in place but the person granting the divorce just asked a few questions of each person who turned up to check that somebody was taking care of the kids. We've since had a forced change in those orders and just recently a massive change in residency arrangements not covered by those consent orders.

My impression is that "best interests of the child" is not taken seriously by anybody in the system but is a tool used to allow them to ignore any concept of fairness or justice when they want to. It's one of those vague feel good sayings that carries little real meaning because it is so hard to determine.

If the best interests of the child was really the biggy then divorces (and seperation) might be harder to get. Parents who played silly buggers with access would get pulled into line very quickly and with real consequences.

R0bert

dougmrich, thanks for your info. In Australia this stuff is run at a federal level. The states run child protection and property issues for defacto split ups (I think) and that seems to be about the main role.

Paternity fraud is an issue here as well although the jury is still out on just how much of it is around. My understanding is that in about 30% of cases tested the nominated father is not the biological one but it should be safe to assume that most of those tested were situations where there was serious doubt about the paternity of the children.

Of particular concern is moves to make paternity testing illegal without having maternal consent or a court order. The first is unlikely to happen where the mother is deliberately cheating and the later is expensive to obtain and the level of proof required may be difficult to obtain.

Neither option allows the nominated father to quietly get a test done and find out for certain. Both risk significant alienation from children if his concerns are unfounded.

The Australian Law Reform Commission claim privacy concerns as the reason for the proposal (mum's privacy is invaded if people find out she was cheating on a partner) but at the same time support the requirement for extremely intrusive financial disclosure during divorce settlements.

R0bert

Sharing parental responsibilities has a long way to go. Reform of family law and CSA are too little too late for many, and it remains to be seen whether these actually help to share parental responsibilities in more equitable ways.

There are so many things wrong with the system, it’s hard to know where to start, but I guess the one issue that causes all other dysfunction is its assumption of supremacy of one parent over the other. When there is conflict between the parents and the courts are called upon to decide, fathers discover they have no rights.

I’ve been luckier than the average divorced father. Two of my three children reside with me, no thanks to a just law. At the same time I am forced to contribute financially beyond the actual costs for the child not residing with me. I’ve given up on any notion of equality when it comes to parenting and the law. The last straw for me, was when a fair private support agreement was set aside in favour of a CSA formula. In my mind there was no doubt this was just another decision that was in the best interests of the mother, not children.

I feel sorry for the young men who are only just slightly becoming aware there is something rotten about the marriage contract, they are yet to fully realise that the resultant stench is as easily misattributed to them, as paternity itself. I wonder how many of them will be educated to make an informed choice (one of the dwindling few for men), and how many will be given the respect they deserve?

Happy Father’s Day.

How was that for “middle ground” R0bert?

And now for something a little more radical ;-)

http://www.smh.com.au/news/opinion/hungry-for-a-husband-lets-go-shopping/2006/09/01/1156817097674.html