Oh gawd, he's still at it.

Ok, show where anybody here has displayed that women are always sacrosanct. Don't forget that's your word, "always".

You have gereralised the situation by not not giving 'due' recognition to the overwhelming majority of male, serious DV culprits. There's been no recognition by you of the nature of the prevalence of male DV culprits. You've written that common street violence is no different to DV. You've avoided the very nature of most DV situations and are happy in your denial.

Guilty conscience maybe? I'd love to get the "other side" of the argument about your bitterness towards your ex. You really need to let go of your bitter past and move on my boy. You'll be happier. You can't continue to live in bitterness and misery.

JW - Antiseptic isn't bitter and miserable, just like he doesn't have negative views on women. Just ask him.

I see that US has spat the dummy again. Don't worry, he'll probably be back under a different pseudonym.

CW, you're quite right, I don't have negative views of women. I do have negative views of dimwits and forelock-tuggers, however.

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to clear that up.

Cleared up only in "your" tiny mind.

It's obvious you have a negative view of women.......UNLESS......they agree with you and are happy to submit.

He even wrote here that violence against women is no different compared to violence against men. All he has to do is go to the morgue and hospitals and courts and prisons to understand the stupidity of that statement.

I suppose God created the smart and the stupid. Unfortunately antiseptic falls into the latter category.

Fractelle, thanks for that material. Also thanks for the willingness to listen that you and others do give. Sometimes it gets awkward, I've talked about my own experiences to highlight failings in support services and a significant problem with a genderised campaign often dealing with lower level behaviours. My ex believed that it was ok for women to hit men but that men should never ever hit back. A message reinforced by the media and never rebutted by political leaders.

I don't really identify with Anansi's comment "Both of you have had to deal with terrible emotional and psychological abuse" although there was abuse and at times it seemed like a nightmare. There were good times as well and for the most part my ex and I get on well now. She's a welcome visitor in my home as long as my boundaries are respected here and we try and work together for good outcomes for us all. Not always smooth but far better than it could be.

I don't want my experiences to have to have been "terrible emotional and psychological abuse" for someone else to have been willing to tell her not to hit. There is stuff I got wrong as well, we were two people who were not good for each other. Conflicts of values, beliefs etc. All too often I could not find my way through the conflicting pressures to meet many of her needs. Relationships are messy things and rarely all one persons fault and I don't wish to portray my experiences as though everything bad was my ex's fault.

R0bert

R0bert: "My ex believed that it was ok for women to hit men but that men should never ever hit back. A message reinforced by the media and never rebutted by political leaders."

This may be true for some women, and I agree humour is often drawn from this image in media representations. There are families in which violence is the 'normal' method in which arguments are settled. My work in public housing confirms this. However, my direct experience also confirms police statistics that more often PHYSICAL violence is perpetrated by males (adult and teenage).

Why I and my female peers are upset is that every time we speak out we are told by males like Antiseptic that we are emotional, lacking in logic or hen-pecking (collectively!), this is the language of a bully. On another thread recently Antiseptic complained that the child care group he attended were cold towards him, I tried gently to suggest that perhaps his response to the women was 'a little prickly'. Trying to communicate with people like Antiseptic, Usual Suspect and others I can't recall the names of, is like walking on eggshells. Living with my ex-husband was like walking on eggshells. I didn't know then and I don't know now whether what I say will set of a stream of abuse such as the above.

R0bert what all victims of DV desperately need is to be believed, taken seriously. I understand why you feel that you haven't, but there are now organisations in place to help men. Can't you see that the same is happening here to women who have had the courage to speak out about their experiences and being told that we are trying to belittle the male experience. This is very dishonest. Not by you BTW.

Cont'd