Recent articles on OLO have illuminated to me the problems we create for our young. All in all, we insult their intelligence. We are so scared for them, we give them only one side of the story. And they can undoubtedly tell, so all our messages are laced with lies and hypocrisy.

Obi Wan once said 'Only a sith lord talks in absolutes'

So why do we cower away when faced with fear for our children. We deal in absolutes. Whenever a grey area arises, we want to stay 'On Message'. Don't muddy the waters, be consistent.

Drugs are bad

To violence against women Australia says no

Say no to sex

Nudity = sex and exploitation.

But to do this is to deny the full, open discussion of issues, and the chance to grow, and allow our children access to a source of trustworthy information. Who can they believe when their parents wont countenance that drugs can be fun, and often harm free, or that one's sexuality is their own and not for adults to dictate, that domestic violence exists only in the paradigm of male=violent controlling abuser, women=helpless victim.

To not allow sex education, and ban leaflets of information about drugs at school, to never discuss women's role in domestic disputes, gives a clear message that you are hiding information from children.

While attempting to be consistent, we are telling our children, if they're in trouble, if they've dared to experiment and use their free will, we wont be there to help pick up the pieces or help. We have shown a simple black and white view of the world, and the child rightly assumes we have no taste for grey areas and that we deal in absolutes. It's no wonder the suicide rate is so high.

As Yoda says, fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. We need to let go of our fear, and provide a balanced, reliable, trustworthy source of information for our children to turn to.

Dear Usual Suspect,

To me as a parent what's always been important
was the content of my children's heart and mind,
or what is often described as character.

Basically, I saw my job was to raise a
decent human being.

Decency might sound like a modest ambition, but in
today's culture it's not so easy to achieve.
Every parent I know lives with the uneasy sense that
their children are growing up too fast.

I understand that these are difficult times for parents.
When you realize that your child is
just as likely to find a condom as a flower, in the park.

Like most parents I spent the first five years of my
children's lives dilingently preparing them to read.
To me, television is a medium that delivers information
in a flash - and then it's gone. Stories found in books,
by contrast, seep into our very being.

I believe that books are still the most memorable
artifact of childhood. They're not only good for
the child, they're a family resource beyond anything
that any medium has to offer.

I tried to help my children learn right from wrong,
and to know that sometimes there is a decision to
be made in the middle.

I know that my children, growing up were facing
tough choices and complicated situations. I tried
to instill in them the basics, like respect, loyalty,
and a sense of fair play.

Only time will tell if I succeeded.

Our role as parents, as I've said in other posts is
not to protect our children from the truth,
but to protect them from something less than the truth.

Well said to both of you.I see my role as a parent as being one of the trusted sources for my kids, which means I go out of my way to be as balanced as possible in my answers to their questions. Sometimes that means I have to step back a little from some of my own strongly held opinions and seek to explain them. It can be a challenge.

It seems to me that many of our politicians, commentators, journalists, "experts" in various fields are rarely so committed to an impartial presentation of the facts as they know them. They subscribe to a "constructionalist" view of society that allows them to manipulate their stories in the interest of "constructing" an outcome. This is what is meant by "staying on message". While I don't disagree with the basic thesis that society is constructed by its participants, I see a great deal of dishonesty and misinformation put about as fact by those who are seeking to change the nature of our culture to various ends. Goebbels spoke of the power of a "big lie" and how important it is to maintain the fiction once uttered and many of our leaders and opinion-makers seem to have been avid students.

I have some hope that I can influence my children to think critically about the information presented to them as fact. If it cannot be reconciled with things they already know, there is a fair chance it has been either fabricated or skewed in such a way as to push a particular barrow and should be evaluated on that basis.

Foxy > Awesome , well thought post

Great contributions, I thought I'd get a quite different reaction. Actually I thought I'd just get Gibo and co banging on about the only true morality and such.
Hey Foxy, I realy agree with your ideas about books. I think they are essential for linear thinking. Have you read 'Amusing Ourselves to Death'. I really loved it. It discusses how the media of communication inherently influences the conversations that are carried out over it.

Antiseptic,

'think critically about the information presented to them as fact'. I agree. It is infinately more useful than hiding away material that you believe you can 'protect' them from, by banning Dolly magazine or some such rubbish.

Perhaps, usual suspect, you can advise me of exactly WHAT DRUGS are fun and harmless?