to o sung wu, thank you so much for your input, you obviously know how all this works and thankfully since i last posted the cop in charge of the case has told us that he will be going to court in a few months on other charges and when he appears they will charge him with the breach, as the women who witnessed him drag my sister out of the car at the shops have agreed to appear in court and we have security footage of him as well, but your right, most of what he's done that we havent got evidence for he will just deny it.

and your advice off staying away is definately the right thing and my sister has changed her job, her gym and where she shops, all to avoid him, and you are spot on about "giving him his head" because the more he has gotten away with the more cocky he has become, so im hoping that given enough rope he will hang himself.

and i have to say as a family we dont blame the cops for not getting him yet, they can only do what the law allows them to do, and of course there not going to search high and low for him when theres more urgent things for them to do, they have his rego, but no adress or work place .

and rest assured there will be no heroics from my sister, she's terified of him,, so all that remains now is to have patience and let the police do what they can, and hopefully we can all put this behind us, so thankyou for your sound advice and kind words,,LILYA

Lilya

Thank you for the update. I have been following this thread, but really couldn't add much to the good advice you have received already from people like O Sung Wu, R0bert etc.

I know only too well what it is like to escape from a violent relationship. How my ex would turn from Jeckyl to Hyde depending on whether there were witnesses or if he was alone with me. I never bothered taking out an AVO - I just moved out (with the help of a couple of strong male friends) and never looked back. Although, even today, so many years later, I still keep my phone number out of the public listings.

Regards

Thanks for keeping us updated Lilya.

Good evening to you LILYA...

I sincerely hope your sister gets clear of this bloke. He sounds like a real 'hero', and should he end up in 'boob' for the other offences he's allegedly committed, his heroics will be surely tested therein, believe me.

Gaol has a way of levelling out the ne'er do wells and the pretenders, rather quickly. Personally, I've had a bit to do with some of these so called 'heavies' and some really do fall apart when they're confronted with a trip out to 'the bay' for a extended stop in the 'go slow' ! Conversely, some don't of course.

Anyway, I wish her all the best in the future, and to you too, LILYA.

PS. Some of the correspondents herein who've also generously offered sage advice in these matters, should be commended too !

thsnks again for all your comments, and Fractelle im so happy for you that you managed what many dont, to get ahead and make a fresh start, and what you said about the jekyl and hyde thing resonated so much, you are so right about the difference in how these sort of people conduct themselves in front of others as oposed to how they truly are, and to o sung wu, i told my brother what you said about if he does jail time, and he said you are spot on and that guys like him will bring themself down if they try and act the big bloke inside, and as my brother pointed out, blokes in jail arnt petite like our sister, and not easily pushed around, so if he goes to jail i hope he gets his own just deserts,(if i was a better person i woudnt think like this), but i hope some big guy smacks the s##t out of him ).(obviously i need to work on my turning the other cheek theory), ha ha ..

and to o sung wu, if i may just ask you one more question, will it be told in court that he has a history of this sort of behaviour,( 3 other women have taken out avo's on him) or is inadmissable in court,? cheers to all, lilya

Hi LILYA...

In relation to breaches of AVO's. Generally speaking - no. The SM usually examines antecedents ONLY particular to the plaint before the court, and where the current violation is under consideration.

If the SM finds the existing circumstances do amount to a 'Breach', then any previous non-compliance associated with this particular plaint, are taken into consideration during the penalty phase.

In criminal matters the criminal antecedents are only offered up after guilt has been established, and prior to sentencing. However, in certain instances, evidence of bad character can be admitted, in order that the crown may rebut claims by the defendent that he's a person of extremely good character !

This area of legal process and precedent is a veritable minefield. With many 'ifs' and 'buts' tending to muddy the waters. I'm a little rusty too, I'm afraid !

I sincerely hope this convoluted explanation gives you some assistance LILYA. Take care, both of you.