i would like to hear from anyone with experience or knowlege of how to deal with a situation my sister is in, she has an avo out on an ex partner, but he still manages to turn up at her house damaging property and threatning her,he harasses her with phone calls at her work place, emails her, chases her in her car, of course he's always gone by the time the police arrive, and because his drivers licence dosent have a current adress, they cant find him, its horrendous the things he has gotten away with, and the cost financially and mentaly has been huge for my sister, even with security cameras recently installed at her home and him on tape it still dosent seem to make a difference, he just laughs and says he can do what ever he likes, and it seems he can, i would really apreciate any ideas anyone may have that might help.

Pray about him and ask God to bring his behaviour under control.
If youre not into it... then go find a pastor who is. Assembly of God is good because they move in the Gifts of The Holy Spirit.
Ive been a born again christian 26years and I always take any trouble to God and Jesus the Saviour.
Ive had God move back neighbours along just because I asked.

Gibo,

I have never heard so much rubbish in my life. By your way of thinking there should be no wars, no violence and no crime. This is the real world Gibo. Perhaps you need to move to Sydney's Western Suburbs and live in a street full of thugs like I used too. Gibo, I go to an Assembly of God church too but that doesn't mean I don't have any problems with other trouble makers. I had to move because of the vile scum that moved into my street. God is not some sort of Santa Claus who caters for every desire of the Hyper-Faith Brigade that many Pentecostal seem to be a part of.
As far as praying for your bad neighbours to move; they were probably praying as well that God would move them away from you.
Have a look at what trouble makers did to Jesus and his disciples.
I have had to take AVO's against neighbours. In my case it worked.

Lilya,

I'm trying to think of a good response. Emails are tracable if he is doing them from home or work. I knew a girl who once lived alone that was getting harrassing phone calls. She had a male person make the greeting on her answering machine. I don't know if it worked though.

i don't think avos do anything for safety. in fact i believe they can exacerbate the situation as they can be seen as a challenge to be overcome (this is a very important point). it's best to simply charge them each time there is an actual incident rather than wave an AVO like a red flag in their face.

i'm no expert but this is what i would do...let them come, but play it cool and maintain your distance. be ready to call the police if they do anything damaging/vandalising. if you have someone nearby it can help to go to them. let them shout and rant and vent, then they may eventually cool down. let them call you at work...and so what? they may eventually tire of it and at least they are mere words. phone calls rather than calls in person would be preferable to me so they should be passively 'encouraged' if they deter physical presence. this is my take without knowing anything about the person or situation.

lilya,

Your words struck a cord in me, but you've come to the wrong place. There are womens support groups out there who deal with this all the time. They will be able to tell you what is likely to work and what won't. This is not such a place. If you are lucky, somebody who knows will post a few links to somewhere that can help.

If you are unlucky - well you've seen Gibo's response. Here the favoured occupation is pushing a political barrow. Who knows, you may even attract some idiot supporting your partner's "right" to harass you.

i agree with your coment "steel", avo's do nothing for a persons safety, thats been proven to me re my sisters situation,, and YES it was a red flag to the person doing this, but at what piont do you sit back and let someone ruin your life like that,? all my sister did was end a really BAD relationship, and when she did he said he would make her sorry for it,! so he proceded to stalk and harasse her whenever he could, she had NO choice but to try the avo because he was costing her a fortune in damage bills,,i.e, he keyed her car and 3 other cars that belonged to friends visiting, he got into the house while she was at work and smashed the kitchen up, he pulled the tap out of the front garden, and then cut down trees and plants, he let down all the tyres on her car,he took out a caveat on the house she has had for 14 years, and when that didnt bring her around to meeting up with him,(wich was what he wanted), he rang her work and told the reseptionist that if she didnt ring him he would let her dogs out,,my sister left work and went straight home, and YES he had let the dogs out,, and the tottal cost of all of this is, ,,emergency plumber,,$200.00, council fines for the dogs,$1,350,,racv, $230.00,,new pantry doors,$170.00,$450.00 for 3 mobile phones and home phone that were trashed every time she tried to ring the police, and the list goes on, so far i think the lawyers fees are about 4,000, and the fact that due to "non contributary defacto laws" he can claim on her house because he lived there for over 12 months off and on,,is an absolute crock,,,but the law is what it is, he contributed NOTHING financially, but the law says that because he was in a defacto relationship he has a claim, thats why he was able to put a caveat on the house,,

lilya, I'm struggling to think what advice to give. If he is entering the property illegally and vandalising stuff then surely it should be a criminal law issue. If so with the accused clearly identified it should be an easy matter for the police to deal with.

Like steel I tend to think AVO's often agragavate the situation. I don't know the background to your sisters situation but if your sisters ex is feeling done over in this process it's just another item in an unjust system. Feeling done over may not always be legitimate by the way, humans don't always put our own situations in perspective particularly well.

Any idea why he is doing this stuff? Is that something that can be resolved?

Steel man, thanks for your comments. Of course Gibo's prayers would be the only reason neighbours would leave, nothing at all to do with his personality or behaviour. ;)

R0bert

He obviously doesn't work, otherwise send the cops there. I'd put the pressure on his family. Parents, friends etc. Get the cops to go around to their places. Hire a private detective to find where he lives. Find out yourself by getting friends to stake out his friends places. Record and video EVERYTHING he does. Keep copies of emails, messages. Stay in touch with people who witness his activities.

He's 'obviously' violent otherwise there wouldn't be an AVO?, correct?. Be careful not to provoke a violent lash back, but collect evidence and one day they'll catch up with him.

He can be arrested for violating an AVO. They don't protect you physically, obviously, but the more he does the more they'll throw at him when they catch him.

God won't help you. Gibo's insane.

lilya, sorry I'd missed your last post when I put mine up. You've answered my questions so please ignore the question part.

Defacto laws are an ugly beast. Put in place to protect the innocents they are abused by the unscrupulous. A former girlfriend went through some very tough times with a previous boyfriend claiming defacto status and trying to take her property. No real case but the legal bills were bad, the emotional strain was damaging and there was always the risk his lies would be believed.

R0bert

I know it's difficult to catch him, but shouldn't the police use some kind of entrapment? All those police sitting around handing out punitive speeding fines and drinking coffee and donuts could be used to do this.

This is a great example of our bureacratic police force that does nothing to protect ordinary people while wasting million $$$ chasing someone like Haneef the case against whom was already thrown out and in that greatly over-allocated APEC and WYD security which wasted hundreds of millions of dollars

Those defacto laws probably came at the demand of feminists, just remember that. I still think there may be a way out by using some game theory and understanding his psychology and why he might be doing this. I think he is trying to communicate something. He seems really hurt to do something like this so long... (...of course i am making assumptions but that is all that can be done...). Some of the costs can't be attributed to him though, such as the spending on lawyers. I consider many lawyers to be thieves, just as some doctors take your money without giving anything in return.

Well steel, unfortunately there needs to be laws to cover everything. And some are less effective, or practical than others, be it an AVO or APEC (though I'd argue we didn't need new laws, the standard ones were fine).

Regrettably, the vast majority of police resources are directed toward DV. I've known police stations at which two thirds of all calls are about DV in some form or another.

It isn't the police's fault they can't do anything, it is indeed the laws which are at fault, but when you have something like domestic violence which is always different, it makes the situation damn near impossible to regulate.

Lilya, I don't know what can be done. There have been some suggestions here, I hope they work. One saving grace is that people who do these things tend to not be very bright and sooner or later they make a mistake, though unfortunately, all too often it's the 'later.' I guess all she can do for now is try to keep friends nearby.

I disagree with many DV calls to police. It solves nothing and is usually a two way thing, with a history of escalation by both sides. The only solution is for the abused to take some responsibility and leave the abuser or try to work with them to resolve the issues.

Yep...asking God to move bad folks on is as productive as anything else will turn out to be. Better, far better.

Steel Mann. You speak like someone belonging to the RC empire One World Church. I think youre a spy for that organisation trying to destroy other christian communication. Its all you do.
I think the demon in you needs to be caste out.

...and StG... well...he's is always bitter about something:(

Just continueing that warning on Steel Mann.
Committed christians do not, do not, tear down other christian commentators as Steel does.
Its simply not done.
Committed christians do not attend nudist colonies...they simply do not... if they are born again christians. They shun anything connected to sexual immorality or what me encourage it.
Steel chased me across the net trying to find and defame me as if he was a dedicated cult or One World Church employee trying to bring me down.
A keen eye shows he is not right with The Lord and maybe one of the many "plants"/spies the One World Church system has working for them ...and against anyone who speaks against the evils in the RC Empire.
Watch him for inconsistancies.
Committed christian do not condemn other committed christianas Steel Mann has chased me.
He's working for the old hairy one not Jesus Christ the Lord.

Gibo, you are off topic with that attack on your fellow christain.

How about starting a new thread on the topic.
I'll be happy to contribute a number of examples where you have attacked other christains on these threads (and some biblical examples).

lilya has raised a serious issue here. She does not need the discussion taken over with your delusions.

R0bert

What a terrible situation for your sister Lilya.

AVO's are the most useless thing because they are so overused and abused with no consequences that they afford little protection when really necessary.

I agree with StG. Witnesses and recording everything that is possible is the best option to build up a case.

Does this man have any family/friend whom he might listen to who could be used as an intermediary? Someone who could convince him that it is also in his own best interest to move on.

Is it possible for your sister to have someone trusted who can live in the house while she lives somewhere else safer until this awful situation is resolved? Can she take some holiday leave? It certainly sounds like she needs to remove herself from the scene for her own safety at least in the short term.

This is not about running away or insisting on being 'in the right' and refusing to change or alter one's life or what one does, because clearly he is making a big impact on her life at the moment. It is about finding the best way to difuse a very angry man.

Certainly this is not a time when she should be alone at her house. Material stuff can be insured and repaired. No matter what he smashes. Personal damage is harder to repair.

Having a third party involved whom this man will listen to, not the lawyer (!) will very likely be necessary to end this nonsense.

Only exposing lukewarm or cold so-called christians RObert.
Never, ever heard of a nudist christian like Steel Mann brags as being.
He follows an unknown line that lines up with no scripture.
He allegedly takes his clothes off in front of other naked people...and calls it moral.
He'd be a One World Church guy. In the end he will accept everything including the antichrist (the mark of the beast 666).

Notice I dont touch Boaz_David, or Runner?
They follow the scriptural line.

Gibo, this isn't the time or place. I'm tempted to tell you how angry your utterly inappropriate comments in this particular thread make me, but it's not the time nor place for me to do that either.

Give your witchhunt a rest. Seriously. Learn to turn the other cheek, live and let live, or whatever biblical reference you need to stop abusing people who have different beliefs to you and derailing topics with your insanity.

Steel, no doubt in some cases you're right, but in plenty, that's way off. You say 'the solution is for the abused to take some responsibility and leave the abuser' but in many cases, they try to do precisely that, which provokes ongoing violence by an ex who didn't react very well.
From the little information here, this appears to be the situation with lilya's sister.

The only real concrete suggestion I can make is having friends and family around, as it means there are more witnesses.
Maybe she can perhaps talk to her neighbours as well and inform them of the situation? Maybe they can help too?

I've been on the end of a DVO that was specifically taken out to try to bolster a custody case. I was prevented from seeing my children for 7 months because the DVO process takes so long to get through if the party being served wishes to dispute the matter. During that time, my ex made 2 false claims of breaches, which both resulted in a visit to me from police, despite the fact that it was only an "interim" order at the time and she was only claiming to have seen me near by (I hadn't been there on either occasion). After the second visit, the copper involved told me they were intending to write the ex off as a troublemaker and they never came back. I don't know whether she tried to get them to come out again or not.

Mypoint is that we only have Lilya's version of this matter. It may be that police have looked at both sides and basically decided the complaints are not worth pursuing. My experience was that they'll issue an interim DVO on no grounds, but will require proper evidence to act further. It's not enough to simply make the claim without that evidence, fortunately, despite the best evidence of the "women's" groups to make it so. It seems to me that the lady involved could easily collect evidence of wilful or malicious damage, in which case the police would be on it like a pack of dogs on a wounded pig. That they haven't been, suggests there is more to the tale.

BTW, Gibo, get some therapy. Your hallucinations are becoming ever-more pervasive and obviously debilitating.

Antiseptic, I don't know if you noticed but yvonne commented on how they have been used and abused. http://forum.onlineopinion.com.au/thread.asp?discussion=2006#41460 When they are abused like that real claims are likely to slip through because it's hard to tell whats real and whats not. A point I've been trying to make on another thread re claims of child abuse being ignored.

I considered the point you make about us only having one side of the story early on but for most OLO situations thats the case. Lilya's not asking for direct involvment here, rather for advice. If it's a false claim then the advice given is not likely to help, if it's real then I'd not like to treat it as false just because. From my limited experience (the delay I faced in getting a breach of residency orders dealt with) the processes sometimes are completely unworkable.

R0bert

R0bert, I'm not suggesting it's a false claim, merely that there is more to the story than we are being told. I recognise that sometimes ex-partners go off the rails, as do the police and if there is so much physical evidence it seems unlikely that the police have done nothing to intervene. The OP should be aware that if the police intervene, the complainant may not be made aware of their actions, as they won't tell her because of privacy issues.

Your own situation with respect to a breach of residency orders is quite different, as the Family Court orders are enforced by Federal, not State police and there is a famous lack of willingness on their part to get involved, even when there is a clear breach. even the FCA is reluctant to enforce their own orders by punitive means when mothers withhold children from fathers.

Dear lilya,

Your sister needs to get in touch with
a lawyer who specializes in this area of law.

Is she's in the Sydney area -

The law firm of Ryan & Bosscher Lawyers,
located at - Level 1,
255 Castlereagh Street
Sydney NSW 2000

Tel: (02) 9266-0708.

Would be a good starting point.
The first Consultation is usually free, and
if she isn't impressed with them she doesn't
have to proceed.

I got them from the following website:

www.aussielegal.com.au/informationoutline~nocache~1~SubTopicDetailsID~948.htm

Check it out for yourself.

Good Luck.

hi, a BIG thanks to all who responded to me, and on reading them i realised that what i said does pose the question," whats the other side to the story", and theres the religous aspect, and also the fact that YES, avo's do get abused and used for vengeful reasons, so ok, for starters, the person in question has NO affiliations with a church or god or anything remotely in that area that could make him see what he is doing is wrong, secondly, i agree with the statement that avo's are used wrongly in certain cases,and personaly i think its abhorent when its used in custody cases for one parent to get back at another parent,,because in those cases its such a selfish act that eventually impacts on the kids, and children should NEVER be used in this way, but in my sisters case, it was the only option she had, her ex partner had previously had avo,s taken out by 3 different women, something she didnt know until the s##t hit the fan, these sort of people are very cunning and manipulitive, they never present themselves as they really are, its a very slow and insidious process,, and as far as getting witneses, when he has showed up at her home and her adult children were there, acording to the police they cant be witneses because they are family members,, my sister has video footage of him at the front door abusing her daughter, but unless they catch him in the act, he cant do a thing, and as far as the stalkers side of the story, all i can tell you is he is VERY angry that he lost a (in his own words) very loving partner,,and that he cant stand to lose ANYTHING and she will pay for it,,but her error in judgment dosent give him the right to do this..

Lilya, it's ESSENTIAL that your sister seeks really good legal advice, from a firm that's prepared to pull out all stops to stop this violent jerk.

The police are under an absolute OBLIGATION to act, despite what some people believe. As that action is not directly forthcoming at the moment, it's imperative that your sister/family/friends does **NOT** accept that lack of action. As "some" police officers and stations can be "difficult" to deal with in terms of adequate communication, I'd suggest your sister takes the matter as high up the police chain of command as possible. Go to the newspapers and television programmes and tell the story. If possible, get your sister out of her current residence (temporarily at least) and into an address he won't find.

If you can't get police action IMMEDIATELY, then get everyone you know to IMMEDIATELY "physically" lobby your State Police Commissioner (if you live in a major city area), and do so in the presence of the media.

The police are OBLIGED to protect your sister. They MUST act. If you need to "bend their arm" to get results, then so be it.

The protection of your sister is the FIRST priority.........any inconveniences or embarrassments come SECOND to that goal! Sometimes we need to be strong and pro-active in order to get satisfactory results in matters. DON'T accept police inaction as "normal".

Good luck.

Gibo,

I've only got one thing to say. Thanks for a good laugh.

You need professional help. You are mentally ill.

You're attacks on me are not on the topic for this thread. Start another thread if you want to go on about nudity and Christianity.

Lilya,
I'm sorry about Gibo hijacking this thread to push his own bigoted brand of Christianity without showing much concern for your sister's situation.

I presuming you a also a woman, and if you are married I would suggest that you and you husband, maybe with a couple of his mates spend a bit of time at your sister's place. Men who bully their ex-partners are often frightened off by the presence of another man. As I said earlier, a man's voice on a telephone answering machine may help, and I've heard of women living alone going to the op shop and buying men's clothing, (A large size) and hanging it on the clothes line suggesting a big man is living there with them. Maybe a pair of size 12 boots could be left at the front door.

Steel man, I'd be concerned that someone who is already refusing to accept the end of a relationship might become further unhinged if they thought someone else had moved in especially if it was early enough to suggest that unfaithfulness might have been an issue.

I see the value in your suggestion but there is a risk that it might make a bad situation worse.

R0bert

R0bert,
You make a good point. Neither you nor I am aware of the exact situation for Lilya's sister, but with a variety of suggestions she can decide what course of action is most suitable.

A good thing about a site like this is that debate is needed to work out solutions. If everyone was too agreeable we may all be agreeable and we may all be wrong.

hi to all, and thanks again for your comments and suggestions,so far most of whats been sugested has been tried, but that dosent mean i dont apreciate the input, i suppose at the end of the day i was just finding it hard to believe that the system is flawed the way it is, and because we are a family that has never dealt with this sort of thing before, we rather naively thought it would be something that the police could control or fix, or even worse, that lawyers could fix, ha ha ,,but we live and we learn, and sometimes its the hard way, but all lessons good or bad can benifit you eventualy.

also i just like to say im sorry if i unintentionaly sparked off some sort of religous conflict,,even though im all for a good intelligent debate, i didnt mean to ignite any animosity between people..and as far as the comment about a male figure perhaps being a scare tactic, yes i do agree with that, only because people like him are cowards and rarely chalenge those they cant defeat, but unfortunately our father is 90, and even though he still thinks that he could "whoop his arse", his words, ha ha ,its not an option, our brothers are both interstate, and my son, who would LOVE to be here and "smack the crap outa him", (his words not mine), is in the defence force and serving overseas at the moment,

but still its been a comfort to me to hear every ones comments and suggestions, and YES its probably not the right site, but this is the one i chose...with thanks, lilya

Lilya, despite what you've just written, I still think it's in your sister's best interests not to give up on the police or even lawyers. The law is not "necessarily" as set in stone as some believe. Even police constables, police commanders and experienced lawyers can have flawed interpretations of law, and accordingly not act. Without knowing the full details of your sister's case, I suspect you've been given flawed information and advice. Please don't accept any one police officer's (or police station's) or lawyer's advice on this matter.

Please be pro-active and take the matter as far as possible. Sometimes in times of crisis, when you think you've reach the end of the road, you really haven't. It takes perseverance and courage. Your sister probably needs much better legal representation than she's currently receiving.

lilya, you did not spark a religious conflict, that ones an ongoing brushfire which springs up all over the place. I suspect that any animosities were pre-existing. Don't fret about it and for my part I'm sorry it intruded on what is an important issue. A debate that can be fun in the right place but this thread was nbot that place.

Cheers
R0bert

Good evening LILYA...

I'm a retired copper (28 years service) and regrettably, there's not a real lot your sister can do.

You say his correct residential address is NOT on his D/L ? Take a note of his Reg. Number. Also, does she know where he works? I'm very sorry LILYA, I didn't read your 'post' as carefully as I should.

I believe you stated that a AVO has been served on him and I presume it's still current? The 'plaint' usually provides a little more information (other than the basics) when the 'information' is originally sworn.

Perhaps there may be further material therein, that may point to alternate whereabouts of this guy.

Unfortunately in these matters, short of giving this bloke a thorougher talking to, there's not a great deal that can be done. Whatever is alleged, he'll simply deny !

My advice to your sister is - keep well away from him if possible (I recognise it's very very hard, particularly if he comes to her place of abode); she should try NOT to antagonise him under any circumstance either. Should it be necessary to speak with him in person, she should try to have someone with her in order to corroborate what's said and done. And try to meet on neutral ground, if possible.

Fellows like this bloke are generally not looking for a fight. Rather they're looking for a victim. The more he's 'given his head', the more confident he'll get ! Thus he'll become careless.

Look, I realize I'm no help to your sister. For that I sincerely apologise, to you and her. But please tell her whatever she does...she MUST try to remain safe ! No false bravado or heroics...just stay safe!

In some domestic issues, when a woman gains the advantage in a verbal exchange, some men in order to compensate, will resort to physical violence to make up for their verbal inadequacies. Best is to let him have his say, and as I said earlier, DON'T antagonise him...let him 'win' his point/s, but remain safe ! Good luck to your sister.

I see no reason why the police can't act. If he breaches an AVO, and there's a witness to that breach, then he can be arrested for breaking the law. It's also the duty of the police, under the circumstances, to locate him.

Something sounds not quite right here, otherwise the police should have acted. My sister's been married twice, and had an AVO against her first husband. He was arrested 3 times for breaching it, and was eventually jailed for a short time over the matter.

'evening to you SAMSUNG...

Of course you're quite correct, in principle. However, neither you or I are in receipt of all the facts, and my comment is essentially based prima facie on the short facts so furnished herein.

LILYA indicated there was a problem locating this fellow. It is assumed there were no witnesses who saw him breaching the AVO. You can be assured there's a distinction between the theory and practice in all police protocols.

You 'front' a bloke before an SM and you've NOT established your criminal proofs sufficiently, when you 'jump the box' you'll probably lose a bit of skin and bark in the process, these days at least.

If there were witnesses to a clear breach of an AVO, the coppers WILL lock him up, believe me.

Apropos, your assertion that police "...have a duty to arrest..." or words of a similar nature...police use a lot of discretion prior to arresting an offender for ANY offence, and just one of those considerations is, 'the continuance of the offence'.

As I said earlier SAMSUNG, there's often a broad line of demarcation between the theory and the practice in this business, and you're quite correct in principle.

to o sung wu, thank you so much for your input, you obviously know how all this works and thankfully since i last posted the cop in charge of the case has told us that he will be going to court in a few months on other charges and when he appears they will charge him with the breach, as the women who witnessed him drag my sister out of the car at the shops have agreed to appear in court and we have security footage of him as well, but your right, most of what he's done that we havent got evidence for he will just deny it.

and your advice off staying away is definately the right thing and my sister has changed her job, her gym and where she shops, all to avoid him, and you are spot on about "giving him his head" because the more he has gotten away with the more cocky he has become, so im hoping that given enough rope he will hang himself.

and i have to say as a family we dont blame the cops for not getting him yet, they can only do what the law allows them to do, and of course there not going to search high and low for him when theres more urgent things for them to do, they have his rego, but no adress or work place .

and rest assured there will be no heroics from my sister, she's terified of him,, so all that remains now is to have patience and let the police do what they can, and hopefully we can all put this behind us, so thankyou for your sound advice and kind words,,LILYA

Lilya

Thank you for the update. I have been following this thread, but really couldn't add much to the good advice you have received already from people like O Sung Wu, R0bert etc.

I know only too well what it is like to escape from a violent relationship. How my ex would turn from Jeckyl to Hyde depending on whether there were witnesses or if he was alone with me. I never bothered taking out an AVO - I just moved out (with the help of a couple of strong male friends) and never looked back. Although, even today, so many years later, I still keep my phone number out of the public listings.

Regards

Thanks for keeping us updated Lilya.

Good evening to you LILYA...

I sincerely hope your sister gets clear of this bloke. He sounds like a real 'hero', and should he end up in 'boob' for the other offences he's allegedly committed, his heroics will be surely tested therein, believe me.

Gaol has a way of levelling out the ne'er do wells and the pretenders, rather quickly. Personally, I've had a bit to do with some of these so called 'heavies' and some really do fall apart when they're confronted with a trip out to 'the bay' for a extended stop in the 'go slow' ! Conversely, some don't of course.

Anyway, I wish her all the best in the future, and to you too, LILYA.

PS. Some of the correspondents herein who've also generously offered sage advice in these matters, should be commended too !

thsnks again for all your comments, and Fractelle im so happy for you that you managed what many dont, to get ahead and make a fresh start, and what you said about the jekyl and hyde thing resonated so much, you are so right about the difference in how these sort of people conduct themselves in front of others as oposed to how they truly are, and to o sung wu, i told my brother what you said about if he does jail time, and he said you are spot on and that guys like him will bring themself down if they try and act the big bloke inside, and as my brother pointed out, blokes in jail arnt petite like our sister, and not easily pushed around, so if he goes to jail i hope he gets his own just deserts,(if i was a better person i woudnt think like this), but i hope some big guy smacks the s##t out of him ).(obviously i need to work on my turning the other cheek theory), ha ha ..

and to o sung wu, if i may just ask you one more question, will it be told in court that he has a history of this sort of behaviour,( 3 other women have taken out avo's on him) or is inadmissable in court,? cheers to all, lilya

Hi LILYA...

In relation to breaches of AVO's. Generally speaking - no. The SM usually examines antecedents ONLY particular to the plaint before the court, and where the current violation is under consideration.

If the SM finds the existing circumstances do amount to a 'Breach', then any previous non-compliance associated with this particular plaint, are taken into consideration during the penalty phase.

In criminal matters the criminal antecedents are only offered up after guilt has been established, and prior to sentencing. However, in certain instances, evidence of bad character can be admitted, in order that the crown may rebut claims by the defendent that he's a person of extremely good character !

This area of legal process and precedent is a veritable minefield. With many 'ifs' and 'buts' tending to muddy the waters. I'm a little rusty too, I'm afraid !

I sincerely hope this convoluted explanation gives you some assistance LILYA. Take care, both of you.