hi, a BIG thanks to all who responded to me, and on reading them i realised that what i said does pose the question," whats the other side to the story", and theres the religous aspect, and also the fact that YES, avo's do get abused and used for vengeful reasons, so ok, for starters, the person in question has NO affiliations with a church or god or anything remotely in that area that could make him see what he is doing is wrong, secondly, i agree with the statement that avo's are used wrongly in certain cases,and personaly i think its abhorent when its used in custody cases for one parent to get back at another parent,,because in those cases its such a selfish act that eventually impacts on the kids, and children should NEVER be used in this way, but in my sisters case, it was the only option she had, her ex partner had previously had avo,s taken out by 3 different women, something she didnt know until the s##t hit the fan, these sort of people are very cunning and manipulitive, they never present themselves as they really are, its a very slow and insidious process,, and as far as getting witneses, when he has showed up at her home and her adult children were there, acording to the police they cant be witneses because they are family members,, my sister has video footage of him at the front door abusing her daughter, but unless they catch him in the act, he cant do a thing, and as far as the stalkers side of the story, all i can tell you is he is VERY angry that he lost a (in his own words) very loving partner,,and that he cant stand to lose ANYTHING and she will pay for it,,but her error in judgment dosent give him the right to do this..

Lilya, it's ESSENTIAL that your sister seeks really good legal advice, from a firm that's prepared to pull out all stops to stop this violent jerk.

The police are under an absolute OBLIGATION to act, despite what some people believe. As that action is not directly forthcoming at the moment, it's imperative that your sister/family/friends does **NOT** accept that lack of action. As "some" police officers and stations can be "difficult" to deal with in terms of adequate communication, I'd suggest your sister takes the matter as high up the police chain of command as possible. Go to the newspapers and television programmes and tell the story. If possible, get your sister out of her current residence (temporarily at least) and into an address he won't find.

If you can't get police action IMMEDIATELY, then get everyone you know to IMMEDIATELY "physically" lobby your State Police Commissioner (if you live in a major city area), and do so in the presence of the media.

The police are OBLIGED to protect your sister. They MUST act. If you need to "bend their arm" to get results, then so be it.

The protection of your sister is the FIRST priority.........any inconveniences or embarrassments come SECOND to that goal! Sometimes we need to be strong and pro-active in order to get satisfactory results in matters. DON'T accept police inaction as "normal".

Good luck.

Gibo,

I've only got one thing to say. Thanks for a good laugh.

You need professional help. You are mentally ill.

You're attacks on me are not on the topic for this thread. Start another thread if you want to go on about nudity and Christianity.

Lilya,
I'm sorry about Gibo hijacking this thread to push his own bigoted brand of Christianity without showing much concern for your sister's situation.

I presuming you a also a woman, and if you are married I would suggest that you and you husband, maybe with a couple of his mates spend a bit of time at your sister's place. Men who bully their ex-partners are often frightened off by the presence of another man. As I said earlier, a man's voice on a telephone answering machine may help, and I've heard of women living alone going to the op shop and buying men's clothing, (A large size) and hanging it on the clothes line suggesting a big man is living there with them. Maybe a pair of size 12 boots could be left at the front door.

Steel man, I'd be concerned that someone who is already refusing to accept the end of a relationship might become further unhinged if they thought someone else had moved in especially if it was early enough to suggest that unfaithfulness might have been an issue.

I see the value in your suggestion but there is a risk that it might make a bad situation worse.

R0bert

R0bert,
You make a good point. Neither you nor I am aware of the exact situation for Lilya's sister, but with a variety of suggestions she can decide what course of action is most suitable.

A good thing about a site like this is that debate is needed to work out solutions. If everyone was too agreeable we may all be agreeable and we may all be wrong.