*quite capable of performing minor repairs around the home or on my car. People tell me I am very feminine - based on my appearance.
I still get called very feminine just because I'm a slim blue-eyed blond*

Ah Fractelle, the perfect woman! One who looks like a real woman
but can think like a bloke :)

Yabby: "Ah Fractelle, the perfect woman! One who looks like a real woman
but can think like a bloke :)"

WRONG Yabby, everyone knows that the perfect woman can't think and loves housework.

So I am definitely NOT your poster girl.

-)

Thanks everyone for your comments. The thread was a result of a comment regarding femininity on an old OLO subject some time ago but it got me thinking.

I agree with many of the comments above that what we look for in male or a female friend is much the same at the character level eg. honesty, integrity, reliability etc. The chemistry and interactions between a male and a female is very much a personal thing I guess and based both on cultural and biological factors.

The perpetuation of the species relies on being attracted to the opposite sex so viva le differences whatever they may be. :)

Of course, the most important thing is to be loved for who we are.

I started this subject but have to be offline for a few days unexpectedley so I apologise if I don't comment for a while on my own thread - (I believe this is bad forum etiquette) :)

I think there is some contradiction. Feminism is very corrosive now, where once it had some value. In general, feminism teaches women who like the submissive role to think badly of themselves and to be ashamed for supporting the "male power structures", when in fact it brings them most happiness.

Steel I would think that feminism (if it ever was 'corrosive') would be less so in current times.

I have called myself a feminist when speaking about equal pay, equal rights under the law and so forth and most feminists don't see themselves as anti-male, quite the opposite in my experience.

Trying not to make this too political but movements and societies evolve and I personally believe that feminism has been successful in achieving its main aims but acknowledge that there is some room for improvement, not only for women but for men particularly under family law.

I agree Steel that feminism has not been ALL good, particularly for those who might not choose a career over staying at home to raise a family, thus not fitting in with the economic model that governments are trying to force upon us as the norm. Probably less about feminism perhaps and more about economies. I am not sure.

For me feminism for the 21st Century would be about an opening up of options for both men and women and establishing the economic and social structures to support those options. It would also be about equality but as a class issue rather than a gender issue. It is pointless to some extent talking about equality and power between the sexes when most of us has no real power in relation to the distribution of wealth and power.

Steel: "feminism teaches women who like the submissive role to think badly of themselves and to be ashamed for supporting the "male power structures", when in fact it brings them most happiness."

Well, perhaps that's your experience. In twenty years of being a feminist, being in feminist organisations and reading about feminism, I have always learnt and believed that feminism teaches women to be proud of whatever role they decide to take on, whether that be staying at home nuturing a husband and children, being a nurse, being a doctor, being a politician, being anything they jolly well pleased. The important thing, I believe, is that gender doesn't restrict choices, for either women or men.

This may not tally with your experience, Steel, but I hope you at least appreciate that one can be fairly extensively involved with feminism and NOT learn to be ashamed of any choice they make.

As for what makes women happiest, I would have thought that there are as many answers to that question as there are women. What has made me most happy has been working my way towards doing exactly what I want to do professionally. And having a relationship with an intellectual equal who I find devilishly sexy, and feeling equally responsible for the running of our household. Given he's free to leave anytime, and given his general level of happiness, I think it works for him too.

I appreciate that your experience has been different from mine, but the happiest couples I know are those where the partners think of themselves as equals.