(cont)

1. The wolf was an endangered species, thus a minority

2. He was not actually trying to eat Little Red Riding Hood, only to get the food in her basket, and to have sexual intercourse with her. As the poor wolf only wanted to eat and make love, not war, the woodsman's acts were an over-reaction, doubtless brought on by his racist attitudes (Witnesses testified that, in the past, he had made disparaging remarks concerning wolves, and had even advocated violence against them. Further, he belonged to the Woodcutters' League, a group designated by the Society for the Protection of Lupine Creatures (SPLC) and Animal Defense League as human supremacist.).

3. When the wolf was killed, he was dressed in grandma's nightgown, indicating that his trans-sexual nature might have factored into his slaying, as the woodsman was also known to be homophobic.

4. The axe used in the homicide was a modified double-edged model, designated by the BATF as an assault axe, the axe of choice for terrorists and drug dealers, indicating a strong tendency for violence and inherent criminality on the part of the woodsman. Further, it came out in the testimony that the woodsman had used anti-wolf slurs during the attack, and had made no warning swings prior to striking the unfortunate wolf over a dozen times.

Following the six-month trial, the jury of nine wolves, one fox, and two humans (The two humans were selected from a suburban area, to ensure that they had no inherent prejudice against wolves, as none lived nearby.) found the woodsman guilty of violating the wolf's civil rights, and Judge Wile E. Coyote sentenced him to ten years.

The SPLC sued the Woodcutters League and the Acme Axe Company. The Acme Axe settled out of court for an undisclosed amount, while the Woodcutters' League went bankrupt, and all its remaing assets (after the SPLC's fee) were turned over to the wolf's family, who used their back account to buy a large supply of crack cocaine, and went into business selling it out of the former WL headquarters. (to be cont)

(cont)

The woodsman's property was seized by the Federal Government under the RICO statues and turned into low-income housing for wolves, and grandma's house was made into a museum and a shrine to the poor wolf who had died there. The dedication was given by no less than Little Red Riding Hood herself, who said that, even though she was frightened by the wolf at the time, it was only because she didn't understand him, due to her racist upbringing. Now that she knows the disadvantages and discrimination that he had to suffer for all of his too-short life, she believes that they could have become good friends, if only the racist woodsman hadn't overreacted in his blind hatred.

There wasn't a dry eye in the forest.

I got a letter from my gran yesterday, she writes...

The other day, I visited a local Christian bookshop and spotted a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker for the car. So I bought the sticker and put it on the rear bumper of my car.

I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought. I didn't notice the light had changed to green. It's a good thing someone else loves Jesus too, because if he hadn't honked, I would never have noticed the light change.

I found that lots of people love Jesus. Why, while I was sitting there, the fellow behind me started honking like crazy, then he leaned out of the window and screamed, "For the love of God, GO! GO!
GO! Jesus Christ, GO!" What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus.

I saw a man waving in a funny way with only his middle finger pointing up to the heavens. When I asked my teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant, he said it was an old native good luck sign he'd read about. Well, I leaned out of the window and gave him the good luck sign back. My grandson burst out laughing. Even he was enjoying the religious experience.

A couple of people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their car and started to walk towards me. Just then, I noticed the light had changed to green for the second time, so I waved to all my sisters and brothers, and drove on through the intersection.

I noticed that mine was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed to red again. I felt rather sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared, so I slowed the car down, leaned out of the window and gave them the native good luck sign with my middle finger one last time as we drove away.

Praise the Lord for such wonderful people.
Love,
Gran.

Paddy goes into a bar in Belfast and orders a Guinness. He places a parcel on the counter.

The barman anxiously asks "Whit's in the paircel?"

Paddy says, "Ma lunch."

The barman puts his ear to the parcel, "It's tickin'"

To which Paddy replies, "Nah, it's toorkey."

A woman in a coma for weeks gets a sponge bath, and while the nurse is passing the sponge over the patients nether regions the machinery suddenly lights up.

Excitedly the nurse tells the Doc who immediately rings the patients hubby. On his arrival the doc suggests that the hubby might..ahem.. partake in oral sex with his wife because, maybe, it might bring her out of coma.

A few minutes later the nurse and doc hear a continuous beeeep coming from the room and rush in to find all machinery flatlining- no heartbeat, no respiration. 'what happened, they demand'?

"don't know" said the husband " she may have choked..."

Sylvia
Your right. That is funny. Hey guys some of the are hilarous.
Its good to be home.
Keep them coming because we are laughing our heads off at most.
Good work guys!