Exchanges like these about gender issues, particularly feminism always leave me asking what is meant by liberation (more than the simplistic - equal pay, voting).

Discussions about liberation are superfluous if they don’t include discussions about men’s liberation, of which one cannot exist without the other. Perhaps we are destined to remain at an impasse on gender matters.

Despite the feminist movement there remain issues about pro-rape culture, consent, unwanted sex etc. Liberation has not done much for women in this regard if one were to believe all the hype.

We all make choices about the way we behave, the risks we take and how we treat others.

Liberation is not going to eradicate some men’s propensity to sexually abuse women. However, in general men appear to want pretty much the same things we do – respect, love and security.

Young men are more likely to be influenced by peer pressures, alcohol and hormones. Assaults and glassing incidents have also increased between women.

You cannot possibly change other people’s behaviour - other than through example and upbringing. It may be that we best spend our energies teaching girls about safe behaviours, self-defence, the effects of alcohol and risky situations.

It is reasonable to argue freedom to reclaim the streets, but the reality is that it is not always safe to act as though we have reclaimed the streets. It is all very well to say a woman should be able to walk freely at night – yes she SHOULD but the reality might be different. Some behaviours increase the risk of assault. This is just a fact of life. Men experience similar risks.

On a positive note, there have been great improvements in the workplace in terms of sexual harassment and the workplace is a much more respectful and professional place than when I first started work in the early 80s. Some of the behaviours at work back then would make front page news nowadays. It is not all negative.

Social change takes time and even in the best of worlds there will always be risks.

Ooohh pullleeease!

The bigest problem women have today is finding a man, instead of a "puppy-dog-boy" who pants and drools and says "please please let me buy you a drink, I'm really nice, truely!" Yetch!

When are yo going to give up on the pogrom against men and hetrosexual marrige?

What a lowed of sexest crap!! Pair of man haters !! in my opinion. On your broom sticks!! and out of town!!

pelican:"in general men appear to want pretty much the same things we do – respect, love and security."

Actually, I'd say most men want those things more than most women and they show it by sticking it out in jobs they hate so that their women can live in the style they prefer.

I don't know a single man who thinks that buying new curtains to replace the 5 year old items in the lounge room is a high priority, but nearly all will say "yes dear" and put the plans for the new workshop tool on hold when the missus suggest they're needed. On the other hand, when she is planning to get that nice shiny widget that she desperately needs for her jewellery box, he'd best not suggest that it be put on hold while they save for the repairs to the fence.

There was some research reported on yesterday that attempted to quantify the cost/benefit of various life experiences, such as marriage, divorce, bereavement
http://www.smh.com.au/national/money-can-buy-you-love-economist-says-20091115-igd8.html

It found that men are much more significantly affected by marriage or divorce than women are. I quote:"WHAT'S a marriage worth? To an Aussie male, about $32,000. That's the lump sum Professor Paul Frijters says the man would need to receive out of the blue to make him as happy as his marriage will over his lifetime. An Aussie woman would need much less, about $16,000.

But when it comes to divorce, the Aussie male will be so devastated it would be as if he had lost $110,000. An Aussie woman would be less traumatised, feeling as if she had lost only $9000."

The research is not to do with the actual financial outcomes of divorce settlements, just the emotional cost/benefit.

That accords with my own observations - women regard being in a relationship as OK, but once it ends they'll quickly look for a new one, where men tend to have much more invested.

power and control in Australia is derived from legislatures.

the Constitution of Australia provides for men's legislatures only to which women are admitted under male supervision.

the imbalance of power and control is that simple.

as a consequence women live with violence in what for men would be considered prison conditions.

if the Constitution provided for men's legislatures only to which men were admitted under female supervision men would be screaming!

a few men behave as if they are terrified of women achieving equal rights with the provision of a women's legislature, perhaps as a consequence of their own actions under patriatchy.

the overwhelming majority of men support equal rights between women and men.

Men do receive messages that sexual assault is unacceptable. In fact, we receive messages that a wide range of behaviours are unacceptable. However, we also receive a series of contradictory messages from other sources. When we see which men seem to be top of the social pecking order, which men get promoted and, most importantly, which men have least trouble getting a girlfriend, we start to think about which qualities are really rewarded in our society. The message that we receive is that being nice will get you no-where. People standing up and talking about how they don’t accept sexual assault achieve little, because men understand that rules aren’t meant to be taken seriously.

This is what needs to change. Women need to take the first step and think about which qualities are getting rewarded with sex. Women whose love-life is just one disaster after another need a little tough love and alot less sympathy. More than anything, young girls need to be force fed alot less garbage about their rights and told alot more about their responsibilities. Us men are increasingly sick of being asked to help women who won’t help themselves.

PS Exterminator: Any woman who is making any effort at all to avoid sleaze is going to be very suspicious of an over-dressed man. The women that you attracted were sluts.