The National Forum   Donate   Your Account   On Line Opinion   Forum   Blogs   Polling   About   
The Forum - On Line Opinion's article discussion area



Syndicate
RSS/XML


RSS 2.0

Main Articles General

Sign In      Register

The Forum > Article Comments > It is never the victim's fault > Comments

It is never the victim's fault : Comments

By Dannielle Miller, published 25/5/2009

Our blame-the-victim mentality is one of the main reasons many women do not report sexual assault.

  1. Pages:
  2. 1
  3. 2
  4. 3
  5. ...
  6. 22
  7. 23
  8. 24
  9. Page 25
  10. 26
  11. 27
  12. All
2)

(How am I doing, Yabby? What the hell, it's my last post/s!)

I've got a temporary green light on health matters a couple of days ago. The eye of the storm as it were. It has given me an opportunity to revert to 'real' life, and do the things that I am qualified to do, and do well!! I've needed a couple of days to shake off the fleas gained in lying down with the dogs on these relevant threads.

OLO DOES bring out the worst in me. With good reason. But I am up up, and away, to foreign climes, and will not return to this place when I return in a few months time.

I KNOW that ANY issue that touches on the treatment of women will result in the same thing: a full on assault. So OLO, though varied in its topics, will have this particular topic come complete with a detonator.

This is NOT discussion; this is attack; it is the antithesis of discussion.

And it has disgusted me. I have no further interest in this site, and I will never return to it.
Posted by Ginx, Saturday, 13 June 2009 2:41:57 AM
Find out more about this user Recommend this comment for deletion Return to top of page Return to Forum Main Page Copy comment URL to clipboard
JamesH and Antiseptic; I'm sorry that I didn't make myself understood - let me join the dots for you both. Erin Pizzy is someone who puportedly holds the family dear (I do too; but not when one person's safety or wellbeing is at risk).

She is much older than my mother so comes from a quite different era to me - (not to mention another country) and she was/is well connected and well-to-do (ie: conservative political and social values) very unlike the families to which she generously offered practical help. Why, in the firt place, did she offer to house those women do you think?

Subsequent research shows that it is very dangerous to engage violent families in family therapy - the safety of whoever is at physical risk must be assured before any other intervention takes place. The chosen intervention may well be family counselling or mediation; legal or something; but safety must come first. I believe that there is an average of 7 separations before a woman decides to leave for good.

I don't know her or much of her, but I have reservations about anyone who tells a woman who has been bashed to such an extent that she needs hospitalization for her injuries, that she is responsible for the abuse. A position, obviously, that suits the agendas of people whose only interest is in maintaining male control over the rest of th family.

As to the terror to which she refers; I don't know much about the situation in England at that time, except that it was a time of great political upheaval and that it wasn't all about feminism.

As to some of the feminist types to which she supposedly refers; I don't know any people like that.
Posted by Pynchme, Saturday, 13 June 2009 9:52:00 AM
Find out more about this user Recommend this comment for deletion Return to top of page Return to Forum Main Page Copy comment URL to clipboard
Yabby

The difference between you and A-septic is that you actually make good points followed by a clearly good heart - even though I may disagree with you on many an occasion - particularly when you lump all westernised women together. However, I will give credit where it is due and I thank you for completing the story about those poor little kids.

However, A-septic never has anything constructive or positive to say about gender issues - he blames women for everything. Ironically he is the one to use the term "victim industry" yet would have us believe that he is always the victim to the 'evil, evil feminist'. If he actually does ever make a valid point, I guess I must miss it among all his insults.

Also, if you think I am the only one to criticise both women and men, then you have not been reading all posts by other women here.

As for colourful language, we all have a right to use it. The difference between Ginx and A-septic is that she uses specific targets as do I, whereas A-septic blames everyone who dares to differ with him. Guess that CJ makes him feel like a "victim".

Ginx - I wish you wouldn't go - your rainbow language is colour we need here. Women are outnumbered on OLO - like every institution excepting nunneries.
Posted by Fractelle, Saturday, 13 June 2009 11:31:18 AM
Find out more about this user Recommend this comment for deletion Return to top of page Return to Forum Main Page Copy comment URL to clipboard
Btw: Antiseptic - no, I don't regard Erin P as dangerous; much less *very dangerous. I think it's a sad waste or misuse (by others) of good intentions that started out very well. She has her own experiences, stories and grief - I am not privvy to those; but I wish her well.

JamesH: Again pure Sacks, but I'll have to get back to this one later (bit too caught up with ok matters to dredge up research just now) so will just throw in a couple of my own ideas:
1. "<The United Nations Commission on the Status of Women last week heard history showed recessions had placed a disproportionate burden on women.>

Not true as unemployment figures for Australia, the UK and America show that the majority who loose their jobs are male.">

1. Maybe "disproportionate burden" doesn't refer to unemployment or loss of jobs alone.
2. Don't know much about the equal pay issue until I research current trends and issues. Do you have any ABS figures to hurry that pocess s that I an respond esp. re: Australian conditions.
3. I'm not surprised that we have a recession - I see it as tied to the greed of and dog-eat-dog competitiveness of a prevailing type of capitalism - maybe not as bad here in Australia, but bad enough.
4. I don't know why you're concerned with American child support matters.

Ginx: Are you leaving? Ahh phooey. I will miss your clever and funny posts. If I have read you right; please take my very best regards with you. Don't worry about this rubbish here; it just gives me a chance to clarify or set out some of my own thoughts so, I'll soldier on against the clod-tide for as long as it suits me.
Posted by Pynchme, Saturday, 13 June 2009 11:45:36 AM
Find out more about this user Recommend this comment for deletion Return to top of page Return to Forum Main Page Copy comment URL to clipboard
Fractelle, "Women are outnumbered on OLO - like every institution excepting nunneries."

Keep dropping back into that familiar rut of victimhood if it suits you. Or you could choose from the many and varied options available to you and live a good life.

Now for a question, who knows that Men's Health Week begins Monday, June 15, 2009? If we want to help men take care of themselves, be the better fathers, husbands and friends that they want to be and enjoy the health to continue to share life with us, why not print the poster for display in prominent positions and encourage our businesses and workplaces to take part?

Here is part of the blurb:

"Happy Men's Health Week!!

Monday marks the beginning of International Men’s Health Week 15-21 June 2009.

The best place to find out information about the week is the official Australian Men’s Health Week Website http://www.menshealthweek.com.au

Men’s Health Week is Co-ordinated in Australia by the Australasian Men’s Health Forum (AMHF) and the Men’s Health Information and Resource Centre (MHIRC) at the University of Western Sydney. We also welcome a host of new partners for the week, more information about our partners can be found on the website.

Help Promote Men’s Health Week
If you’d like to help promote the week please download and print off a Men’s Health Week poster from the MEDIA page of the website."

Choosing to promote Men's Health Week is the one practical thing most of us we can do right here and now to reduce some of the problems that concern us.

Wouldn't it be good if a leader who is well known and trusted by men could pen an article for OLO to support and promote Men's Health Week?
Posted by Cornflower, Saturday, 13 June 2009 8:41:27 PM
Find out more about this user Recommend this comment for deletion Return to top of page Return to Forum Main Page Copy comment URL to clipboard
Pycnhme, Erin Pizzey's father was a diplomat, Erin in an interview on Dads on the Air said that both her parents were abusive, and that she could not extrapolate her own unique experience, to other relationships.

There was the notable 1970's feminist, who was married to a very wealthy man, she had a cook, a house keeper yet she would critize her husbands housekeeping ability.

Two things I think are very significant is firstly Erin's mail had to checked by the bomb squad, secondly her book Prone to Violence was blacklisted. Others also had similar experiences including Susan Steinmetz, Murray Straus, and McNeely.

Now I am not saying that all feminists are potentially violent, but extremism can attract individuals who use a particular cause as cover or justification for behaving in violent, threatening or abusive ways.

Erin did write an interesting essay on working with violent women and in that essay, she refers to the family terrorist, who remains hidden.

<The family well may be characterised as violent, incestuous, dysfunctional, and unhappy, but it is the terrorist or tyrant who is primarily responsible for initiating conflict, imposing histrionic outbursts upon otherwise calm situations, or (more subtly and invisibly) quietly manipulating other family members into uproar through guilt, cunning taunts, and barely perceptive provocations. (The quiet manipulative terrorist usually is the most undetected terrorist.>
Posted by JamesH, Saturday, 13 June 2009 9:58:24 PM
Find out more about this user Recommend this comment for deletion Return to top of page Return to Forum Main Page Copy comment URL to clipboard
  1. Pages:
  2. 1
  3. 2
  4. 3
  5. ...
  6. 22
  7. 23
  8. 24
  9. Page 25
  10. 26
  11. 27
  12. All

About Us :: Search :: Discuss :: Feedback :: Legals :: Privacy