Maybe my earlier attempted point missed its mark.

I was asking the question about the regard of the consequences of sex and how these consequences have changed.

I recognise that women are constantly reminded of their fertility.

It has been only recently that sex and childbirth have become uncoupled from one being the consequence of the other. As posters here have stated, women today have the choice of contraception and termination, as well as the previous options of abstinence, childbirth and adoption. Most of the posters here have been born post-pill, it is likely that some of there parents were born post-pill, and they cannot conceptualise a society without the present level of sexual freedom.

It is this that I refer to as the consequences of sex not being recognised.

Add to this the much lower rates of maternal deaths in childbirth than previously. Even in my childhood (I’m 49) it was fairly common to hear of women dying in childbirth in Australia. Every family had, in its circle of friends, relatives and neighbours some close knowledge of a woman who had died giving birth.

Today the rate of death in childbirth in Australia is something close to 8 deaths per 100,000 births. In contrast, in Timor the rate is around 860 deaths per 100,000 births. The Timor rate gives an impression of just how lethal sex can be.

Add to this consideration that the average number of ‘babies per woman’ in Australia was 3.7 just about the time of the release of the contraceptive pill on the 9th of May 1960, but is now down to around 1.76. The discontinuity between sex and childbirth is apparent.

I don’t think that anyone would say Australian women in 1960 were having twice as much sex as Australian women in 2005, to result in twice the number of children.

I don’t think that many women, under the age 50 in particular, are aware of the previous, virtually absolute, link between sex and childbirth. Not sex and conception, but childbirth as an almost inevitable outcome of sexual activity.

Justin86, I agree that women proceeding with pregnancies should be given a medal, not stigmatised. Better still, they should be given practical help, and the only people I know of doing this belong to those much vilified organisations, the Catholic Church and the Pro-life movement. I have obtained the names of some of them which might be useful to know: The Caroline Chisolm Society, Open Doors, Pregnancy Help, Geelong [Vic] and Centacare.

Pregnant women and young families in general need and deserve all the help and encouragement they can get. Whenever I get the opportunity , I say to young couples with small children, "You're doing a good job". Doesn't seem like much, but a word of encouragement can mean a lot to struggling parents.

So far as the women contributers to this thread who boast about having abortions and being happy about it, I'd like to quote from the Melbourne Herald-Sun of April 22, 2004 p.32. "Shocking film reignites abortion debate".
It states" My Foetus, a 60-minute documentary shown at 11pm on Britain's channel 4, shows footage of a four week old foetus being vacuumed from its mother's womb. "The documentary also shows images of the dismembered remains of 10, 11 and 21 week old fetuses, their broken limbs measured by a tape". It concludes: " Journalist Lauren Booth, a pro-choicer who has also had an abortion, said she recoiled when watching the film's pivotal moment. "My hand flew to my mouth in shock" she said "I swallowed. I didn't want to say it, but the word 'murder' came to my lips."

Boast about having abortions? Is that how being honest seems to you, Big Al? Should I lie, and participate in this debate without coming clean about my own real life experience?
I am not happy I had an abortion, I wish I had never been placed in the situation where I felt it was the lesser of two evils, but I was and I made my own decision, and I have never regretted it. I regret falling pregnant in the first place, very much, but genuinely believe I did all I could to be responsible, and was, like many women, unlucky. I am not boasting, it takes some courage, even anonymously to admit to having one, because I know it makes me vulnerable to accusations like yours, but I would regard it as despicable to remain silent.
The idea that abortion is restricted to a particular kind of immoral woman will continue as long as women are bullied into silence about their own life experience. I do not boast about my misfortune, boasting is something I leave to the self righteous.

Dr Mac,
Thanks for your comments. We've all come through it fine - two little boys under four... and a big break planned! I completely agree the 'abortion debate' is only the tip of the iceberg - and far from the most productive way of addressing these societal problems.

Enaj,
That our communities are not receptive to children is such a shame, isn't it? In the end, we searched out a community, 200km from where were living, which was heavily populated with young families and receptive to children. Imagine: shops supplying chalk for kids to use on the footpath outside, where some shop owners are happy to hold or play with my kids while I do my thing, and where another harassed parent is just around the next corner to lend a sympathetic ear... And there are as many dads at playgroup as mums... It is possible!

Big Al 30,
I understand that you have strong beliefs about abortion. However, while our personal beliefs are very important to us, in themselves they do not prevent women from facing unplanned pregnancies, nor help women when they find themselves in that position.

I don't believe that women in this forum are boasting about having abortions. What I’m hearing them say is that they refuse to be denigrated for making the decisions they have made, and they refuse being made to feel ashamed or guilty. If we are to come to a greater understanding of circumstances leading women to abortion, we must cease blaming, and offer understanding instead of judgement, regardless of our own personal position on abortion. We need to talk to each other – a dialogue, not a debate.

For many women, the secrecy, guilt and stigma surrounding abortion creates further problems, by not allowing them to express their emotions, grieve, and discuss the circumstances surrounding their abortion.

I really appreciate the women who are brave enough to talk candidly about their experiences. And similarly, if we want to make a difference to all women facing this situation, we need to be brave and *really listen* to what they are saying.

Big Al

I never perceived boasting in the statements of those women who revealed their abortions. There was more a form of regret that they considered the abortion to be necessary, due to the failure of contraception.

And if I have misinterpreted those who have revealed so much, please accept my apologies.

Few women in this society use abortion as the primary method of contraception. That is not to say that in some societies this wasn't so, East Germany being a prime example.

The only people who actually want to see more abortions are those who profit from abortion, like the clinics and pharmacutical companies. But as a certain prime minister said, we live in an economy, not a society. Hence no one really has the right to question the economics behind the abortion debate (snigger!).

I am disturbed by abortion, mainly from the perspective of being an old fashioned fart, who believes in responsibility. If you want to have sex, be prepared for the consequences. Nothing is free, including the pleasure of sex. But that is just me.

I don't expect women to share my views.

I also consider that late term abortions, where the 'foetus' lives and cries after being 'aborted' until they die from hypothermia from being left in a cold laboratory dish to be an abomination. We are rapidly drawing near the time when one woman's aborted foetus can be equated with another woman's premature delivery.

I recognise that this particular scenario is rare and extreme, but it raises the issue about whether foetuses that may be aborted in future may be better off being implanted as part of an 'IVF' type program.

Pre-birth adoption perhaps? A science fiction scenario? Or maybe no more science fiction than the idea of a contraceptive pill seemed in 1956.

I would say that I feel that we have to reduce the overall incidence of abortion in this country, I would prefer this to be by better contraception, and greater support for pregnant women and promoting the value of motherhood. Whatever else, legislation will not be successful in this regard.

Thank you Hamlet - I appreciate your point of view, although I do not completely agree with you, but I always enjoy a difference of opinion reasonably expressed.

Tracy & Enaj - I agree that motherhood is undervalued and society's attitude has not changed much from children should be "seen and not heard" - and don't get me started about disapproval of breastfeeding in public! Anyone who disapproves of breastfeeding in public has some major problems regarding sex. Ooops I did get started.

Big Al - NO ONE brags about abortions - you have simply attempted to stifle open honest discussion by placing the most spurious label on our honesty - I predict a sea-horse future for you, me lad.