I must say I found the first few weeks of motherhood remarkably easy. Yes, there were worries over breastfeeding correctly, and there were the sleepless nights, but all the baby wanted to do was sleep all day, so I was left wondering what I could do. To make matters worse I had a c-section, so couldnt actually do much around the house for a while either. It gets harder once the baby is more alert and active (read demanding)!

One of the majority issues of (impending) motherhood IS one of identity. Not only does the rest of the world approach you differently, but you see yourself differently too. YOu might see yourself in a rosy fuzzy wonderful view of blossoming motherhood, you might see yourself very clinically, you might hate the changes that are happening to you. You may welcome your new role, or you might pine for your old life (or both!). One thing is for certain, you do change. And that change can take quite a bit of getting used to. And you can be made to feel incredibly bad by both men and women for actual or perceived shortcomings (or for not feeling/thinking/acting in a certain way)

It seems that nowadays, anything that interferes with our lifestyle is an assault on our freedom. We have people (of both sexes) writing endless tracts about how hard done by they are, because they have to work/pay mortgages/have babies, etc.

How about a little perspective? What do you think it would have been like 100 years ago (or even 50 years ago) if you were living on a farm in the middle of nowhere, where your entire life was defined by 12-14 hours of manual work for very little reward, irrespective of your gender, race, etc?

Or how about ethnic migrants (my parents, for example), who came here with only a suitcase of clothes, who worked labour intensive jobs for most of their lives, who raised children, who paid mortgages, who dealt with discrimination, language issues, little formal education, etc., who were not provided with welfare, did not have family here to help, yet consider themselves some of the luckiest people alive, and have a positive attitude to life?

Sometimes I wonder whether all this moaning about essentially trivial and everyday events is a sign of a very sick society that has lost its way. We are now so wealthy that even joyous events are seen as some sort of terrible task that the world has thrust upon us. For all the talk in cultural studies about 'pathologisation', it seems that cultural studies is the most guilty party, in pathologising what are essentially 'normal' activities.

Is life really such a struggle? How about people who worked a 12 hour day in a factory and then went on to a night cleaning job in order to earn enough money to pay the mortgage, all while trying to raise kids? Did that 'interfere' with their lifestyle?

If you wanted to design an environment that was hostile to young women with infants you couldn't go far past what we have already. Of course most workplaces do not have the conditions that would help but the fundamentals are not there in the community either. Try handling children and shopping in cities and you will quickly see what I mean. Would it really truely hurt local government to have family friendly facilities in shopping areas? The facilities that suit the very young also help the older citizen who wants to get around.

What about suburb design? People have been asking for designs to promote socialising and interaction for years. Even Council libraries have made only minimal concessions to parents with little children.

In closing I think it should be acknowledged that interrupting a career for family is not well received by some who regard themselves as feminists and a lot of sledging goes on. The feminist elite lobbies for only those government initiatives that 'best fit' their feminist ideals and regrettably this can include obstructing or derailing change that could help many women. Feminism should be concerned with helping women realise all of their potential and that includes raising families.

When did anyone last hear a feminist fighting for well-appointed infant change, rest and feeding facilities in parks and shopping centres? The answer is never. What about family friendly transport systems? No, they are not interested in that either.

Cornflower, hear hear about the the family friendly shopping facilities. I am pleased to be able to say that the Coles supermarket that has just opened up in our town has made a step in the right direction. Next door to the disabled parking areas are a few bays marked for use by "cars with prams". Not everything (eg there is no baby change area that I have been able to find), but at least it is a step in the right direction.

Cornflower, It has only been feminists who have worked for baby friendly initiatives in hospitals (why was it necesary?), supermarkets (Breastfeeding Mothers Assocation), urban planning etc etc. What seems to have happened is that once a feminist becomes a mother, she ceases to be thought of as a feminist and the bigger and more demanding identity of "mother" takes over. There has been a lot of feminists working to make the whole of women's, men's, and children's lives rewarding and enjoyable (Maternity Coalition, Home Midwifery Assoc. and their international counterpart bodies have inherited a huge legacy). What hasn't happened well is passing on this knowledge from one generation of women to the next. Shopping centre managers didn't miraculously begin to install parenting rooms. Mothers argued and costed and negotiated with babies and prams in tow. They wouldn't have had the passion to do it if they weren't feminists.

Cornflower I know that women are often their own worst enemies but why do you say that feminists deride women who take time off their careers to raise their chldren.

Many women find they are in careers where they have to work full time, if not all hours of the day and night and if they leave for 2 years to raise children they must retrain into another occupation. Its not women who make these rules, but women do tell other women what the state of play is. Women tell other women that they are in a "strange occupation for a woman".

I think that the new workchoices legislation will do wonders for the australian birth rate as families can't afford to rear their existing children on dimishing real wages, families will have fewer children as their fear for their economic well being rises, families will start having children later as the lowering of wages and uncertainty about employment adds further pressures on family life and the lives of all members of society.

Yes its feminists who demanded that child care centres be set up, demanded that women earn equal pay and be able to access permanent employment. The 25%+ australian children growing up in single parent families must be grateful they aren't living on less money. Hopefully the next wins will be state run kindergartens for all 4 year olds and adequate access to respite care for families with disabled children.