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The Forum > Article Comments > A woman's work > Comments

A woman's work : Comments

By Cristy Clark, published 15/1/2007

Lifting the lid off the (often) artificially positive perceptions of pregnancy without denying the joy of welcoming new life. Best Blogs 2006.

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"Because breeding is defined as a natural act (which it is, but bare with me here), women are expected to blossom in pregnancy, or to at least be stoic when they don’t. Their sacrifices - physical, emotional, career - are also continually undervalued."

What a Martyr!

"This is not the result of feminism - this is the continued impact of a patriarchal culture that remains fundamentally unchanged at its core." PUKE!

Our western culture is based on a productive economic model, ever since the industrial revolution first took people off the land and into factories, where people needed to earn money to survive, instead of growing their own produce.

For every captain of industry who profited, so then did his wife and daughters.

Life after children is never the same as life before children. Life after children means experiencing the joys and challanges of being a parent. Children don't care about feminism, liberalism, patrairchy, politics or religion.

Children want to be loved and fed, played with and taught. They want to be dependant and independent. They fight and argue and hate you one minute and love you to death the next.
Posted by JamesH, Monday, 15 January 2007 9:34:59 AM
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Nice article, Cristy. As a bloke and (grand)father I've long been aware of the inequitable demands made on women when they become mothers.

JamesH: "For every captain of industry who profited, so then did his wife and daughters."

Written like a true patriarch!
Posted by CJ Morgan, Monday, 15 January 2007 9:48:22 AM
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Great article Cristy. I share your view that feeling this way doesn't mean that feminism has been any less valuable. Also your experience was essentially mine. Ambivalence towards the implications of childbearing is a major taboo. It doesn't mean I love my child any less.

JamesH....kids do care about politics, religion, feminism, patriarchy and liberalism. And Lego, Thomas the Tank Engine, Play School and the park. All of these things are part of their world. To argue that kids have no understanding of the community they share with adults is pretty condescending.
Posted by seether, Monday, 15 January 2007 10:39:27 AM
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Come on James. I'm aware of your views on feminism and the rights of fathers from earlier posts, but surely you acknowledge there are some pretty difficult situations for women going back to work after pregnancy.

What of the high costs of childcare?
Do you deny that in general there are higher expectations of women as parents than of men?

That comment CJ Morgan picked out from your post is pretty telling, whether you intended it that way or not.

But then, I suppose you'd say it's the men who are the victims right?
Posted by TurnRightThenLeft, Monday, 15 January 2007 11:02:27 AM
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The loss you express so well in your article has been felt and denied and addressed by countless women. That you not know about this is one of Australia’s great mysteries! Many women have labelled our society “patriarchal”. Some of us have found that, in doing so, we put the initiative for action clearly in someone else’s court. We blame and go back to our isolation. That is not the answer. Neither is resignation. There is another way.

Motherhood is a source of great power. It is “biological”. It is “natural”. It is also unique. For each child there is one mother and one father and one pregnancy and birth. We inherit our identity from our parents: their social, economic, political, cultural and physical being influences our own. Every single human being in the world has been given birth to by a woman.

A pregnant woman is a power of nature. With emotional support and education she will change her family’s diet to improve health, clean up a singles flat and turn it into a home, exercise, and deal with an abusive partner. With emotional support and education her partner will support his pregnant wife. The only thing absent in Australian society is “how to”.

Where do you go to learn? In Australia, women have been working to educate midwives to educate women to live healthy lifestyles. Midwife literally means “with woman”. It is the role of a midwife to be with a woman throughout her pregnancy, birth and early motherhood. She is a special person in a young mother’s life. See http://www.maternitycoalition.org.au/ for details.

Fear is a very powerful force. But motherhood is more powerful. Cristy, come join us to make life better for ourselves and our daughters and sons. Motherhood is a personal journey. As you’ve found, it is also a social one. To begin it you must seek appetite, health, wisdom, beauty, joy, friends, loyalty and peace. Then you get to change the world
Posted by KerryMcG, Monday, 15 January 2007 11:19:30 AM
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Great article Cristy. It's not often that women write things like this without feeling the need to speak in a wry, humourous tone, probably to offset the suggestion that pregnancy is a 'wonderful' experience.

I wrote a paper once on the idea of pregnancy being a disorder. The idea behind it was that the romanticisation of pregnancy ignored the reality of swollen feet, aching breasts, swelling bodies and instead focussed on the supposed glow that a woman gets from using her body to its fullest potential (read: the interpretation that pregnancy is the most amazing thing a woman can do with her body). Once the baby is born however, the woman morphs into a non-sexual entity - she leaks, drips, aches and sweats. By becoming a mother, she loses her sexual identity as a woman in the eyes of society. Worse, the sacrifice is expected to be okay because she is now experiencing the most glorious job of all.

James, given that you've never been pregnant, you might want to reserve your criticism of Cristy given that her article basically describes how she feels.
Posted by audrey apple, Monday, 15 January 2007 11:40:47 AM
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