WOW!

That was a real conversation killer.

Well, Thomas Ellis was a fool and seriously needed to grow up and take control of his own life.
Women do not owe men sex. Women should only ever have sex because they want to. Sex is not a "rent" we pay to maintain a relationship and men who regard regular nookie as their god given right are deeply unattractive ( and needy and pathetic) quite frankly. If you want sex, you need to think about how to make yourself attractive to the person you'd like to have sex with. That probably means you need to think about sex from their point of view rather than your own.
This idea that men have a right to sex is damaging to both sexes because if they succeed, they end up having a kind of rape rather than loving sex, because women do it because they feel they ought and because its too much of a hassle to say no - gee, that must feel great, guys. In a relationship of free equals both parties make love ( rather than sigh and have sex) because they actually and fully want to. Even if that means it happens less often than a guy would like, surely that kind of sex is a thousand times better than the get on and get on with it kind?

Ena, I suggest that before you call anyone a 'fool', that you actually read his book.

Esther Villar who wrote "The Manipulated Man"

"Men have been trained and conditioned by women, not unlike the way Pavlov conditioned his dogs, into becoming their slaves. As compensation for their labours men are given periodic use of a woman's vagina."

http://drhelen.blogspot.com/2007/01/why-men-and-women-dont-want-sex.html
"My personal reasons for not wanting sex is disappointment, the word NO, rejection, lack of desire by wife, total indifference. I have heard every excuse heard by man. When the efforts by my spouse are a basically get it over with, you can hardly expect me to get overly excited. Since she consideres sex a chore - just let her read and book and fall asleep."

Now lets consider this, if a man with holds finances this is economic abuse. If a partner with holds affection, praise etc this is emotional abuse.

Toby Green;

"I explained to Robert that if statistics are right, it’s likely that he’ll go through his marital life sexually underfed. And if that’s not unfair enough, it gets worse. Even if she’s not in the mood, he can’t get sex elsewhere because women can’t handle infidelity. If he strays the price may be his marriage. Sexually, marriage is a bad deal for men."

Now this is where it gets tricky, considering the vast differences in opinions and beliefs.

Lets imagine for one minute the boot was on the other foot and it was women who had the high sex drive and men, the low sex drive.

I wonder how women would feel if their needs were not being met?

A recent conversation with a mate of mine where he told me that his wife had been very 'testy' and she told him that he didn't love her anymore, because he had stopped asking her for sex.

Basically he is an arsehole if he pesters her for sex and doesn't respect her and when stops asking her for sex, he doesn't love her or find her attactive?


"The secret of being in rude health is intercourse"
http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2006/04/22/1145344320257.html?page=fullpage

No, of course men don’t have a right to sex, unless it is gifted or bartered.

The village scrambles to its duty: “Nurse names 20 doctors as possible dads”

http://www.smh.com.au/news/unusual-tales/nurse-names-20-doctors-as-possible-dads/2007/02/03/1169919583068.html

“SARAJEVO's Kosevo Hospital has been rocked by a sex scandal after a nurse handed its director a list of 20 prominent doctors as potential fathers to her baby son."

"A Sarajevo magazine reported on Friday that the nurse, who gave birth last month, asked the management to investigate and determine who fathered the child.”

To be a grown up, you need to recognise something important. Grown ups earn their own money, do their own housework and accept responsibility for fulfilling their own needs. Only the immature expect others to look after them, either financially or physically. You simply cannot expect someone else to fulfill your physical needs, if you do, you will , indeed, go through life resentful and frustrated. Your very expectation - that sex is your right - is what probably turns your partner off. Who wants to have sex as duty? This is not about men or women, in fact, this is about expectations of others. There are many women with higher sex drives than their partners and no doubt many of them feel just as hard done by as you do, but you simply cannot expect someone who does not want to have sex with you to do it. And you certainly cannot expect them to enjoy doing it.

Within an established relationship there is barely a menstrual cycle difference between seduction and sexual assault.

What is acceptable behaviour one minute, can become totally unacceptable the next. It has nothing to do with being reasonable or unreasonable. It is all about power and control.

Most men recognise that they are balancing on a knife’s edge and one woman’s word can destroy their life.

Sex within a relationship is about more than sex. It is about physical and emotional intimacy.

In a relationship each person has the right to be treated with respect, something which sometimes is forgotten.

Both Toby Green and Amy Cooper wrote about women being testers, from the first date, to marriage. To my knowledge most men are clueless of this and when I read what they had written alot of things started to make sense.

Maybe the French had it right when along with a wife they had a mistress as well, who perhaps was someone elses wife.

As ena wrote it is not possible for one person to be able to totally met the needs of another.